Leading Former Peers: Navigating Shifts in Dynamics (Leadership Challenges Series 3/3)

One of the trickiest situations for any new leader is managing former peers. The shift from being “one of the team” to the person responsible for overseeing and guiding that team can create an awkward dynamic if not handled thoughtfully. Your former peers may struggle with the adjustment, uncertain about how your new role will impact their relationship with you. They might question whether you’ll be fair, whether you’ll change, or whether past camaraderie will cloud your judgment.

Let’s look at some Strategies for Leading Former Peers:

1. Acknowledge the Shift.  Don’t ignore the elephant in the room—acknowledge the change in your role directly and transparently. Let them know that you’re aware this transition could feel unusual and that you’re committed to being fair, supportive, and open. Have one-on-one conversations where you address any concerns, inviting them to share their thoughts. This shows maturity and empathy, helping to ease any discomfort.

2. Establish Boundaries Without Sacrificing Connection.  One of the biggest adjustments will involve setting appropriate boundaries while maintaining the connection you’ve built with them. It’s natural to want to keep a friendly rapport, but it’s important to establish professional boundaries, especially regarding work decisions. You’re in a new position of authority, and clarity around roles will prevent misunderstandings. Emphasize that your primary goal is the team’s success and that your decisions will be made with everyone’s best interest in mind.

3. Be Transparent and Fair.  Former peers might worry that favoritism will come into play, especially if your relationships have previously been closer with some team members than others. To counteract this, be as transparent as possible about your decisions and the criteria you’re using. Ensure your approach to work distribution, evaluations, and feedback is clear and fair. Addressing these aspects early on and being consistent will reinforce your credibility as an impartial and effective leader.

4. Maintain Professionalism in All Interactions.  In your new role, professionalism takes on heightened importance. Small comments or gestures that may have been acceptable when you were peers might now be perceived differently. Approach each interaction with respect, clarity, and a bit of formality where needed. This does not mean losing your personality—it means being mindful of the subtle power dynamics and ensuring everyone feels respected and valued.

5. Be Humble and Inclusive.  Lead with humility by acknowledging that you may not have all the answers. Your former peers likely have valuable insights and inviting them to share them demonstrates respect for their experience. Show them that you see this as a collaborative relationship. Phrases like, “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this,” or “What would you suggest based on your experience” can encourage open communication and reinforce their trust in your leadership.

6. Celebrate the Team’s Wins, Not Just Your Own.  As you step into this leadership role, focus on celebrating team achievements rather than emphasizing your success. By spotlighting the team’s efforts, you’ll reinforce that you are in this role to support and uplift them rather than assert authority. Former peers will appreciate your focus on their success and your commitment to shared goals.

Leading former peers can be challenging, but it also offers a unique opportunity to demonstrate your leadership skills in a way that builds trust and fosters a collaborative environment.  By acknowledging the shift, setting clear boundaries, and focusing on transparency, you can create a seamless transition. Your goal is to guide the team forward while honoring the relationships and experiences you shared previously. When handled with care, managing former peers can result in stronger, more resilient bonds that benefit the team. 

Quote of the Day: “Leadership is not about a title or a designation. It's about impact, influence, and inspiration.” – Robin Sharma

Question: What’s your approach to leading former peers?  What’s the hardest part for you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you lead former peers?

Being the Only Woman in the Room: Navigating Leadership as a Female Executive Among Male Colleagues (Leadership Challenges Series 2/3)

For many female executives, one of the most challenging aspects of leadership is being the only woman in a room full of men. The dynamics in these situations can sometimes feel like you’re navigating invisible boundaries, where your ideas may be questioned, your authority might be subtly undermined, or your perspective could be overlooked. However, these challenges also present an opportunity to bring a fresh viewpoint, reshape cultural norms, and pave the way for future leaders.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate and thrive as a female leader among male colleagues.

1. Stand Firm in Your Expertise and Accomplishments.  As the only woman, you might feel pressure to “prove” yourself repeatedly, even after demonstrating your proficiencies. Instead, stand firm in your achievements. Resist the urge to minimize your contributions or downplay your success. Speak with confidence and conviction, letting your abilities speak for themselves. When you project self-assurance, others are more likely to respond with respect.

2. Leverage Your Unique Perspective.  Being the only woman allows you to bring a valuable, distinct perspective that might otherwise be missing in decision-making. Use this to your advantage. Your experiences, insights, and ideas are assets that can enhance the team’s strategy and broaden its viewpoints. Whether it’s about understanding diverse customers, advocating for inclusive policies, or simply offering a different take, your voice brings value that enriches the entire team. 

3. Create Alliances and Seek Allies.  Building alliances can be especially helpful in an environment where you’re the minority. Identify colleagues who respect and support your ideas, and look for opportunities to collaborate with them. These allies can help amplify your voice, advocate for your ideas, and offer support in meetings. Finding a mentor within the organization or in your industry can also be invaluable in navigating the nuances of being the only female executive. 

4. Communicate Clearly and Directly.  When leading in a male-dominated environment, clarity and assertiveness are key. Communicate your ideas directly, using concise language to convey your points. Practice speaking confidently and avoid qualifying language that might diminish your authority, such as “I just think…” or “Maybe…” Maintaining clear communication reinforces your credibility and makes your voice heard.

5. Navigate Interruptions and Assert Your Presence. Research has shown that women are often interrupted more than men in professional settings. If this happens, it’s crucial to maintain your presence. Politely but firmly reclaim the floor by saying, “If I can finish this last point and then I’d love to hear your idea” or if they have already interrupted, you can retake the stage by saying “If I can circle back to my point before shifting gears….” Establishing a strong presence ensures that your contributions are not overlooked and bolsters the importance of your input.

6. Use Emotional Intelligence to Build Connections.  Emotional intelligence is a key strength that can help you navigate complex team dynamics. Listening actively, empathizing with colleagues, and reading the room can enhance your ability to build strong connections. Leveraging your emotional intelligence allows you to gain allies, bridge communication gaps, and cultivate a collaborative environment that values diverse perspectives.

7. Lead by Example and Advocate for Inclusion.  As a trailblazer, you have the unique opportunity to set a positive example for future female leaders and to champion inclusion. By endorsing policies that support diversity, equity, and inclusion, you create a workplace culture where everyone feels valued. Being open about your experiences as the only woman in the room can foster dialogue and inspire change within the organization. 

Being the only woman in the room may present obstacles, but it also gives you a platform to lead with authenticity and influence change.  By asserting your expertise, building alliances, and communicating confidently, you can command respect and make a lasting impact. This journey requires resilience, self-assurance, and a dedication to lifting others as you rise.  Remember, you’re not only paving the way for your success but for the many female leaders who will follow in your footsteps. 

Question: Have you ever been the only in a room?  If so, how have you handled it? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you! 

Quote of the day: "Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence." – Sheryl Sandberg

The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on another leadership challenge of leading former peers. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Do You Lead as the Only in the Room?

Leading the Unfamiliar: Navigating Age, Expertise, and Intelligence in Leadership (Leadership Challenge Series 1/3)

Stepping into a leadership role is a major achievement, whether you’re a seasoned professional or newly promoted. But with the title comes the challenge of leading diverse teams—including those who may be older, more experienced, or even perceived as “smarter.” While these situations might seem daunting, they’re also incredible opportunities to grow as a leader and strengthen your team. Each scenario requires careful navigation rooted in trust, relationship-building, and an unwavering commitment to growth.

Let’s look at common leadership challenges and strategies to navigate them effectively.

Challenge #1:  Leading People Older Than You
When managing someone older, it’s natural to wonder if they’ll take you seriously, especially if there’s a significant age gap. As a younger leader, you might worry they’ll see your age as lacking experience or knowledge. This perception can lead to insecurities, but it’s essential to acknowledge your capabilities. Remember that you were promoted for a reason. Checking your doubts and showing confidence in your role can go a long way in establishing your authority without arrogance.

Strategies

·      Acknowledge Experience: Begin by recognizing their expertise and asking for their insights. This shows respect and opens the door for collaboration. Engaging in one-on-one conversations where you discuss team goals and solicit their input helps get everyone on the same page.

·      Be Confident, Yet Appropriately Vulnerable: Confidence and vulnerability are critical. Don’t shy away from admitting when you don’t know something. By being honest, you create space for mutual respect and demonstrate that you value their experience. 

·      Practice Generosity: Support their growth and celebrate their achievements. Leaders who generously share credit and give meaningful feedback cultivate trust and admiration. Recognize that older team members may have different needs or life responsibilities—do what you can to support them. 

Challenge #2: Leading People with More Expertise
Sometimes, leaders are brought in for their people skills or strategic vision rather than technical expertise. This can be challenging when team members know more about the technical details than you do. The key is to use your role to empower their abilities rather than trying to compete with them. 

Strategies

·      Leverage Their Knowledge: Seek their input on technical aspects and clarify that you value their expertise. This builds credibility and enables you to lead effectively without needing to be the subject matter expert.

·      Promote Open Communication: Encourage regular discussions to allow for knowledge-sharing. Facilitate an environment where questions and ideas flow freely and demonstrate that you’re there to support their work.

·      Stay Committed to Learning: Continuously develop your knowledge in areas relevant to your team. Participate in workshops, stay updated on industry trends, and seek feedback. This shows a dedication to growth that helps bridge any perceived gaps in expertise.

Challenge #3 Leading People Who Are Smarter Than You
Intelligence takes many forms. Some of your team members might excel in analytics and strategic thinking or possess highly specialized knowledge. In such cases, your role isn’t about competing intellectually but facilitating a culture where everyone’s strengths are maximized.

Strategies

·      Be an Advocate for Team Success: Instead of focusing on individual achievements, champion the team’s collective intelligence. Emphasize shared goals and celebrate each person’s unique contributions.

·      Encourage Collaboration: Inspire your team to share ideas and problem-solve together. When intelligent individuals work as a unit, you create a resilient team better equipped to handle challenges.

·      Showcase Adaptability: Adaptability and resilience are essential leadership traits that often resonate with highly intelligent individuals. Share stories of overcoming obstacles, demonstrate flexibility in the face of new information, and actively engage in problem-solving. This conveys your strength as a leader committed to personal and team growth.

Ultimately, leadership isn’t about age, expertise, or who’s “smartest” in the room. I t’s about building trust, leveraging each person’s strengths, and guiding the team toward shared success. As a leader, your responsibility is to foster an environment where every team member feels seen, heard, and empowered.

Quote: "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. [They] are the ones that get the people to do the greatest things."  – Ronald Reagan

Question: How do you handle leading people older or more experienced than you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series will focus on another leadership challenge of being the only woman in the room.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their leadership skills and navigate tricky situations, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Do You Lead Those Senior Than You?

Redefining Success: Crafting a Life on Your Own Terms (Leadership Brand Series 4/4)

Success is a word that often evokes images of wealth, recognition, and social status—ideas we’ve absorbed over the years from society, media, and education. But while these definitions are pervasive, they can also be restrictive, confining us to a narrow view of what it means to live a fulfilling life. When we look deeper, success becomes something far more personal and multifaceted. Real success lies in achieving goals that resonate with our core values and in building a life aligned with our unique aspirations.  

Moving from an "Outside-In" to an "Inside-Out" Definition of Success

Many of us adopt an “outside-in” definition of success early on, focusing on what society deems valuable—status, money, admiration. This can lead us to pursue goals that fulfill others’ expectations rather than our desires. When we define success for ourselves, we create an “inside-out” perspective based on our values, passions, and aspirations.

Here are some steps to help you explore your unique definition of success: 

1. Reflect on Your Core Values.  The first article in this series covers this topic.  Start by identifying your core values. Is integrity, kindness, creativity, or growth important to you? When success aligns with these values, it brings lasting fulfillment. For instance, if your core value is growth, success might involve learning and self-improvement rather than reaching a specific career title.

2. Think About the Impact You Want to Make.  Success isn’t only about what you gain but what you give. Consider the impact you’d like to make in your community, industry, or family. Impact does not have to mean major world changes—it could be as simple as supporting others, raising a loving family, or fostering a positive work environment.

3. Imagine the Lifestyle You Envision.  Envision the lifestyle that would make you feel successful. Would it involve travel, a slower pace, or a high-energy, entrepreneurial drive?  Success can be about having time for hobbies, enjoying meaningful relationships, or maintaining a healthy balance between work and personal life.

4. Explore Both Personal and Professional Goals.  It’s important to view success holistically, incorporating personal and professional aspirations. While your career might bring professional success, a fulfilling personal life is equally valuable. Tennis star Roger Federer, for example, balanced a high-achieving athletic career with being a committed husband and father, showing that success encompasses multiple facets of life.

5. Embrace Daily Progress Over Perfection.  Darren Hardy’s perspective on success as “rent that’s due every day” reminds us that success is not a static end goal. It’s a continuous process of growth and improvement. Success is not about flawless achievement but relatively steady, meaningful progress towards what matters most to you. 

A New, Sustainable Model for Success can incorporate these 3 elements:

  • Well-Being: True success includes physical and mental health. If achieving your goals means neglecting your health, it’s unlikely to feel fulfilling in the long run.

  • Wisdom and Wonder: Success is also about lifelong learning and a sense of curiosity. When you appreciate life’s small moments, you create joy in the journey itself.

  • Contribution: Meaningful success involves making a positive impact. Whether it’s helping others in your community or contributing positively to your work environment, contribution adds a layer of purpose to your achievements.

Success and Happiness: The Connection

The relationship between success and happiness is often misunderstood. Some view success as a pathway to happiness, while others find it in the process.  Adam Grant’s research suggests that when we prioritize internal goals, like personal growth, kindness, and health, we experience greater happiness and well-being than when we focus on external rewards like fame or wealth. In other words, happiness and success are closely linked when we define success in a way that aligns with our values.

Success isn’t solely about accomplishments; it’s also about the quality of the journey. Finding happiness in everyday progress, connecting with others, and pursuing work that resonates with us creates a richer, more fulfilling version of success.  As Phil Jackson wisely noted, “You’re only successful at the moment when you perform a successful act.”

Success is not a single, universal measure. It’s a highly personal journey, one that should be aligned with your own values, passions, and goals. Real success is about crafting a life that resonates deeply with who you are and what you care about. Define it for yourself, live it each day, and find fulfillment in the journey—not just the destination.

Reflection Question: What does success mean to you today, and how can you begin to live by that definition more fully?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

Quote: "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." — Albert Schweitzer

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to develop their leadership brand and define success, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you define success?

The Power of Vision in Leadership (Leadership Brand Series 3/4)

Purpose defines why you do what you do, but vision clarifies where you’re going.  A powerful vision gives direction, solves problems, and inspires people to rally behind you. It’s the picture of the future you want to create—one that is bold, exciting, and serves as a roadmap for the next two to five years and beyond. In leadership, a clear and compelling vision isn’t just about achieving goals; it’s about sparking possibilities and inspiring those around you to move forward with purpose.

What Makes a Vision Compelling?  Here are a few characteristics:

1. Clear and Concise.  Like Disney’s “to make people happy” or Instagram’s “capture and share the world’s moments,” a vision statement should be simple and memorable. If it’s strong, you should be able to ask five people about it, and each of them will repeat it back to you with ease.

2. Bold and Inspiring.  Vision statements should create excitement about the future. Take Patagonia's mission "to save our home planet."   This powerful statement goes beyond selling apparel, reflecting a commitment to environmental stewardship and inspiring employees and customers to join in a meaningful cause.

3. Focused on Positive Impact.  Vision is most powerful when it addresses the intangible values people care about, such as building community, creating a sustainable planet, or fostering innovation. It should make a difference not only for the leader or the organization but also for the broader community.

Developing Your Personal and Professional Vision

Vision setting begins with clarity around your own aspirations. Here’s how you can build a vision that aligns with both personal fulfillment and professional growth:

1. Imagine Where You Want to Be in 2-5 Years.  Ask yourself: Where do you see yourself personally and professionally in the next few years?  If you could wave a magic wand and achieve everything you wanted, how would your career, relationships, and personal life look? These questions help to create a vision that is future-focused and inspiring.

2. Focus on Impact and Contribution.  A strong vision centers on more than personal success; it focuses on positive impact. Consider how your vision could contribute to others—whether it’s building a team known for innovation, creating a product that changes lives, or setting an example of authentic leadership. 

3. Craft a Vision Statement.  Once you’ve identified where you want to go and how you want to make an impact, write a clear and concise statement that reflects this. It should be short enough to remember but powerful enough to guide decisions. For instance, a personal vision might be: “To lead by example, fostering a culture of growth, empathy, and excellence in everything I do.”

4. Revisit and Refine Your Vision Regularly.  Vision isn’t static; it can and should evolve as you grow and adapt to new experiences. Revisit your vision periodically to ensure it still aligns with your purpose and goals and adjust as needed.

Building a Team Vision

In addition to personal and professional vision, effective leaders need a team vision. A team vision aligns everyone toward a common future, uniting diverse goals and creating a shared sense of purpose. Here’s how to create a vision that resonates:

1. Identify the Team’s Unique Purpose.  Think about what makes your team unique. What problems are you uniquely positioned to solve? Consider how your team’s contributions can add value to the larger organization and positively impact those you serve. 

2. Envision the Ideal Future State. If everything went perfectly for your team over the next two to three years, what would be different? Imagine how you’d want others to describe your team’s reputation. For example, “To be known as the go-to team for innovative solutions that drive customer success.”

3. Involve Your Team in the Vision-Setting Process.  A vision that is created in isolation may not resonate. Engage your team members by asking for their ideas and feedback. When they contribute to the vision, they’re more likely to be excited about and committed to it.

4. Communicate the Vision Regularly.  An inspiring vision needs to be shared, often and enthusiastically. Talk about it in team meetings, one-on-one check-ins, and even casual conversations. This keeps it top-of-mind and demonstrates your commitment. Repetition helps ensure everyone is aligned and energized around a common goal.

Vision as a Guiding Light for Strategy and Decision-Making

A vision statement serves as a guiding light for all strategic planning and decision-making. Once your vision is set, you can use it as a framework for prioritizing responsibilities, setting objectives, and focusing efforts. Leaders often face competing demands and limited resources, so a strong vision helps filter what’s essential from what’s merely urgent.

1. Use Vision as a Lens for Strategic Decisions. When making strategic choices, refer to your vision. Ask yourself if the decision aligns with the future state you’ve outlined. If not, it might be a sign to reassess your options.

2. Align Goals with Vision through OKRs.  Objectives and Key Results (OKRs) are an effective way to ensure that team and individual goals are moving toward the vision. When goals and objectives align with the vision, each person’s work contributes meaningfully to the bigger picture.

3. Balance Short- and Long-Term Priorities.  Vision requires balancing immediate tasks with long-term goals. While it’s essential to achieve short-term objectives, keep your vision in mind to ensure these tasks build toward your desired future. This long-term perspective can prevent getting sidetracked by day-to-day demands.

A clear and compelling vision for yourself, your profession, and your team can elevate your leadership, providing direction and uniting everyone around shared aspirations. Whether you’re crafting a personal vision for growth, setting a professional vision for impact, or creating a team vision for innovation, remember that vision is a guiding light. When you articulate it well, it inspires, energizes, and brings people along on the journey.

Reflection Question: What is your vision for the next few years, and how will it inspire positive change and impact in those around you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you! 

Quote of the day:  "The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision." — Helen Keller 

The next blog in this series 4/4 will focus on defining success. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to develop their leadership brand, contact me to explore this topic further.

What’s Your Vision?

Discovering Your Purpose for Greater Impact (Leadership Brand Series 2/4)

Purpose is the reason you wake up every morning with energy and motivation. It goes beyond daily tasks or achievements and taps into something deeper—your unique contribution to the world. Just as companies like Nike, Google, and Amazon have clear, guiding purposes—like inspiring athletes, making information accessible, and providing books in an instant—leaders also need a purpose that acts as their "north star." 

A well-defined purpose gives leaders clarity, focus, and resilience, especially when facing the unknown. Knowing your “why” not only enriches your life but also strengthens your impact as a leader, offering direction to navigate both personal and professional challenges.

Purpose Beyond Profit: Why Leaders Need a "Why"

Purpose shapes not only what you do but also how you do it. When you lead with purpose, you bring authenticity, passion, and consistency to your role. Simon Sinek’s “Start with Why” concept emphasizes that purpose is not simply a pathway to success; it’s what draws people to you and keeps them committed. People follow leaders who know why they lead, inspire, and create meaning.

A purpose-driven leader asks: Why should people follow me? Why should they stay engaged and motivated? When your actions consistently reflect your purpose, you foster trust, loyalty, and a shared commitment to something larger than individual tasks or goals.

Finding Purpose

1. The Ikigai Approach.  The Japanese concept of Ikigai—a reason for being—offers a framework for finding purpose. Ikigai resides at the intersection of four spheres:

  • What you love

  • What you’re good at

  • What the world needs

  • What you can be paid for

Ikigai reminds us that purpose is more than a passion; it’s a balanced pursuit that incorporates skill, relevance, and contribution to the broader world. By aligning these four areas, you can find a fulfilling and sustainable purpose. For example, a leader who loves mentoring, is skilled at developing others, and understands the importance of building future leaders may find their purpose in guiding team members toward their highest potential.  You can use this framework to identify your purpose. This exercise can clarify the unique intersection where your passion, skill, and contribution come together, offering a roadmap to purpose-driven leadership.

2. The Mastery Approach.  Cal Newport’s So Good They Can’t Ignore argues that purpose often emerges from mastery. While passion is valuable, building rare and valuable skills can create a sense of purpose. Purpose isn’t always discovered overnight—it’s crafted through dedication, skill development, and a commitment to making a meaningful impact. By focusing on becoming exceptionally skilled in areas that matter, you lay the foundation for a purpose rooted in value and contribution. Taking time to develop rare and valuable skills can help uncover your purpose, as these competencies will strengthen your sense of impact and open new opportunities for meaningful contributions.

3. Reflect on Your “Why.” Begin by asking why you do what you do. What impact do you want to create? Reflect on moments when you felt most fulfilled and effective in your role. Identifying these experiences can reveal insights about your purpose. 

Benefits of a Purpose-Driven Leadership Approach

1. Clarity in Decision-Making.  Purpose acts as a compass, making it easier to identify priorities and stay aligned with long-term goals. Leaders who know their purpose are less likely to be swayed by distractions or quick fixes; instead, they make deliberate, impactful choices. As Lewis Carroll said, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” With purpose, leaders can confidently say “yes” to decisions that align and “no” to those that don’t.

2. Focus and Resilience.  A clear sense of purpose provides strength during challenging times. Knowing your purpose helps you maintain focus, even when circumstances are difficult or outcomes are uncertain. This clarity reduces stress, allowing you to navigate obstacles with resilience and determination, ultimately benefiting you and those you lead. 

3. Enhanced Engagement and Impact.  Purpose-driven leaders inspire others to give their best because their actions reflect genuine commitment. Simon Sinek’s research has shown that people who enjoy going to work are more productive and creative and more positive in their interactions with colleagues and clients. When leaders operate purposefully, they create a workplace environment where others can find meaning and fulfillment.

4. Confidence and Authenticity.  Purpose gives leaders an internal boost of confidence. When you know what drives you, you bring authenticity to your leadership, creating a positive impact that resonates with others. Purpose-oriented decisions feel aligned with who you are, allowing you to act assertively without aggression or passivity. This balance encourages others to trust and respect your leadership.

Purpose is the anchor that brings joy and fulfillment to everyday life, creating a leadership brand that’s both inspiring and impactful. Defining and living by your purpose isn’t a destination; it’s a journey that guides your actions, fuels your motivation, and enriches the lives of those you lead. Finding your purpose may take time and reflection, but the journey is worth it.

Reflection Question: “What is your “why” as a leader, and how can you begin to live that purpose more fully today?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

Quote: "The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on having vision. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to develop their leadership brand, contact me to explore this topic further.

What’s your purpose?

The Power of Knowing Your Values (Leadership Brand Series 1/4)

A big part of defining your leadership brand is starting with your values. Values represent what we consider important and meaningful; they energize, motivate, and inspire us to lead authentically. Gandhi famously said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”  Yet, many of us move through life without a clear understanding of our values, often prioritizing others’ expectations over our own beliefs.  Knowing your values—whether love, growth, money, integrity, or impact—gives you a foundation for leading in alignment with what matters most.

The Benefits of Knowing Your Values

·       Clarity in Decision-Making. Values provide a guiding framework for choices, helping us navigate difficult decisions with ease. When we’re faced with uncertainty, our values act as a source of strength, keeping us grounded and aligned.

·       Authenticity and Reduced Stress. Living in alignment with your values means less internal conflict and more stability. By operating from a place of authenticity, we reduce stress, as our actions consistently reflect who we truly are. 

·       Building Your Leadership Identity. Values shape our leadership identity, also known as our “personal brand.” Virtually every decision, from career moves to daily interactions, is influenced by our values. When we live by them, we strengthen our sense of self and create a leadership presence that’s impactful and reliable. 

Identifying Your Core Values

1.  Reflect on Personal Values.  Start by examining a list of values. Highlight five that resonate with you personally—these might be empathy, integrity, courage, family, loyalty, etc.. For example, if you value empathy, consider how you demonstrate it in your personal life, such as actively listening to family members or friends.  Some values may overlap with your professional life, but others may be unique to personal interactions. 

2. Define the Importance of Each Value.  Ask yourself why each value is meaningful. For instance, is empathy important because it allows you to connect deeply with others, or is it a value passed down from family? Reflecting on why you hold these values helps clarify whether they truly resonate or if they stem from past influences. 

3. Assess and Align with Your Values.  Once you’ve identified your values, assess how aligned you are in practicing them. Are there any values that you aren’t actively living?  Addressing misalignment can relieve inner conflict, bringing greater peace and fulfillment. 

Finding and Practicing Your Leadership Values.  Just as with personal values, identifying your leadership values enhances your effectiveness and impact: 

1.  Identify Key Leadership Values.  Review the values that you consider crucial in a professional setting. These might include teamwork, innovation, accountability, or resilience. Think about how these values guide your interactions and decisions with your team. 

2: Articulate the “Why” Behind Your Leadership Values. For each value, reflect on how it shapes your leadership. Why is accountability important to you?   Perhaps it fosters trust within your team or encourages transparency.  Understanding the “why” solidifies your commitment to these values and makes it easier to communicate them to your team.

3. Examine Alignment with Your Leadership Style.  Evaluate how well you’re embodying your values in your current role. If you value transparency, are you consistently open in your communications?  If teamwork is essential, do you foster collaboration actively?  Focusing on gaps between your values and actions creates growth and alignment opportunities.

Your leadership brand reflects your values, guiding your actions and setting an example for those you lead.  Defining and aligning with your values isn’t a one-time task; it’s an ongoing commitment to leading with integrity, purpose, and authenticity.  

Question. What values do you want to be known for in your leadership, and how can you begin embodying them more fully today?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

Quote of the day: “Your personal core values define who you are, and a company's core values ultimately define the company's character and brand. For individuals, character is destiny. For organizations, culture is destiny.”  -Tony Hsieh

The next  blog in this series 2/4 will focus on discovering your purpose. 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to develop their leadership brand, contact me to explore this topic further.

Values Check - What are yours?

From Insight To Action: Effective Method To Develop Self-Awareness (Self-Awareness Series 3/3)

Developing self-awareness is essential for personal and professional growth. It involves understanding our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how they align with our values and goals. By enhancing self-awareness, we can make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and achieve greater success.

Let’s explore practical strategies to help on the journey of self-discovery and unlock your full potential.

1. Engage in self-assessment to increase awareness.

A. Inventory of strengths, non-strengths, values, and opportunities.  Identify what you are good at and not good at. We sometimes do this work when preparing for an interview and find that it is helpful to get super clear, so making the space to answer these questions is important. You can take many assessments, such as Myers Briggs, The Big Five, or CliftonStrengths to gain deeper insights.

B. Create reflection time.  Some make excuses that they have no time for reflection because they lead a busy life and may not view that as productive as firing off emails, but reflection time is a practice that sets the greats apart.  Setting time aside to reflect to get better answering questions about yourself.  What is going well and why, what can be going better, and why.  How do you handle failures for you and your team. When it happens, how do you harvest the learnings?  People who are confident in themselves wonder how they know if something works.  

C. Ask the right questions of ourselves.    Cultivate self-awareness by asking questions like, “What if I am wrong?  What am I missing?  What are five other viewpoints to consider?  David Clutterbuck, Team Coach Expert likes to ask these four questions to increase self-awareness.  How do I feel about the way that I think?   How do I feel about the way that I feel?  How do I think about the way that I feel?  How do I think about the way that I think?

D. Answer your questions.  If you have a question like, how do I know I am approachable?  Aim to answer it by making a list of things you are doing to support the claim (I leave my office door open for others to enter when they need something, I ask if they have any questions in a meeting, I prompt them to respond to my email with any follow-ups, I participate in activities with my team such as going to their meetings and connection gatherings and then ask others the question.  Then you can invite others about their perspective on your approachable and how you can improve.  E.g., “I am working on being an approachable leader, how approachable do you think I am, what do I do now that supports my approachability, and what can I do to be even more approachable?”

If you are wondering how you are progressing toward your goals, such as if you are getting better at listening, you can take time to write out what success looks like and some metrics.  In three months, you can evaluate how well you have done against your success definition and metrics.  Be sure to collect data from yourself and others. 

D. Compare yourself to your future self.  Write a letter to yourself outlining what you want to improve.  Open it in a few months to compare your progress. Marshall Goldsmith suggests thinking about what gifts your current self has given to your future self.  

E. Learn. Whatever skill you are trying to improve, read about it, and observe others who excel. Identify effective behaviors and compare them to your own. Learn from those you admire and avoid the mistakes of those you don't.

2. Work with a coach. 

Coaches help clients see through false notions and narratives to understand their present reality better and shape their future effectively. They can do that by using metaphors, stories, and synthesizing information to provide a fuller picture for the client.  They also ask questions, such as why do you do what you do? Why do they believe what you believe, and how is it serving you now? 

A. Perception management.  Coaches help clients think about their current and ideal perceptions, and their impact. They assist in building their brand to manage these perceptions effectively.

B. Use of self-reflection assessments.   Coaches provide frameworks and assessments for clients to evaluate their skills. For example, using key leadership traits from "The Leadership Challenge" to understand their strengths and areas for improvement.

C. Use of tools. 

·      Johari Window - A psychological tool created in 1955 by Joseph Harrington to help people improve self-awareness and understand relationship dynamics through 4 quadrants: open area, blind area, hidden area, and unknown area.

·      Gaps Grid.  Developed by David Peterson, Former Head of Executive Coaching at Google, it’s a 2x2 matrix that enhances insight and motivation by mapping goals and values, success factors, abilities, and perceptions. 

3. Collect Informal feedback. 

A. Ask for specific feedback.  Seek feedback from trusted individuals in your inner circle such as your boss, peers, friends, mentors, and others about how you can improve specific aspects, like working relationships or leadership skills. Specific questions yield more actionable insights, such as what’s one thing you can suggest for improving my listening vs. giving me feedback.

3B. Anchor your feedback.   Guide observers by informing them about the skills you are working on and asking for feedback on your progress. This helps them provide more focused and relevant feedback.  Examples include - “I started working on a new set of skills that I want you to watch for or A month ago, was working on listening skills, what has been improved? It is helpful for you to guide the observation because they are still in the stew of what they are doing, and they are not seeing the wins.  It’s kind of like when relatives you see once a year as a kid will point out how much you have grown and how different you are, and you don’t see it at all because day-to-day, not much is different.

4. Formal Feedback

A. Run an automated 360.  Collect feedback from the people you work closely with at all levels, directs, peers, managers, customers, partners, and other stakeholders.  You get to do a self-assessment based on leadership competencies and then they also get to weigh in, and you can evaluate the anonymous data and look for patterns.  When I do this with clients, they are always surprised, either by how many great comments they have received, how others have overrated themselves in some areas, and how they did not realize they were falling short of the mark.  It is an eye-opening experience.

B. Stakeholder interviews.  Similar to a 360, but instead of being automated, a coach will run the process.  They will conduct interviews with the stakeholders, ask questions, and then compile a report. 

C. Create brief surveys.  Liz Wiseman recommends asking about some accidental diminishing behaviors, which means that despite your best intentions, you may be having an adverse impact on others.

·      What am I inadvertently doing that might be having a diminishing impact on others?

·      How might my intentions be interpreted differently by others? 

·      What messages might my actions actually be conveying?

·      What can I do differently?

Developing self-awareness is a continuous journey that significantly enhances personal and professional growth. By engaging in self-assessment, seeking feedback, and working with a coach, you can gain deeper insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Embrace these practices to unlock your full potential, make better decisions, and build stronger relationships.

Quotes of the day: "We learn who we are in practice not in theory." - Herminia Ibarra

Quote of the day:  As you start to walk out of the way, the way appears – Rumi

Question: What practice do you engage in to raise your awareness?  Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further.

What practices raise your awareness?

The Journey Within: Overcoming Challenges and Enhancing Self-Awareness for Better Outcomes (Self-Awareness Series 2/3)

In our previous article, we defined and explored the components of self-awareness.  Now, let's zoom in on the challenges and benefits. 

Challenges of Self-Awareness

1. Ignorance and discomfort.  Plato’s Allegory of the Cave illustrates how ignorance can limit self-awareness and how knowledge leads to liberation.  In the allegory, prisoners chained in a cave see only shadows projected on a wall, believing them to be reality.  When one prisoner is freed, he struggles to take in this new understanding but eventually learns that the shadows are mere reflections of actual objects. Upon seeing the outside world, he grasps a deeper reality.  When he returns to share this knowledge with the other prisoners, he is met with disbelief and hostility.  This underscores the journey of self-awareness: breaking free from ignorance to understand deeper truths can be an enlightening experience.  It can also be challenging because some truths we discover about ourselves can be so uncomfortable that we prefer ignorance as bliss.

2. Varied backgrounds.  Our self-awareness varies significantly due to numerous factors: different generations, upbringing, income levels, values, job markets, incentives, and experiences.  For instance, a person growing up in poverty thinks differently about risk and reward than a wealthy banker.  John F. Kennedy admitted he could not fully understand the impact of the Depression era because he grew up rich.  We've all experienced only a tiny sliver of the world, shaping our unique perspectives.

3. Dunning Kruger Effect.  This cognitive bias occurs when people with low ability or knowledge in an area overestimate their competence.  Identified by David Dunning and Justin Kruger in 1999, it happens because unskilled individuals fail to recognize their deficiencies, leading to inflated self-assessments.  For example, an employee new to software may feel proficient after a brief introduction, assuming they're more competent than others who have used it longer.  This overestimation can lead to mistakes and oversights. 

4. Ego.  An inaccurate self-view can hinder leadership growth. For instance, a leader I was working with had a Direct Report submit a self-assessment on his performance review and wrote “n/a” for what to improve.  When pressed, my client suggested to the Direct the topic of delegation to achieve results through others, rather than doing it all himself.  The Direct dismissed the feedback because he is so talented at getting his work done.  His progress is hampered because he cannot scale by doing all the work himself, he has to get results through his team.  To increase his awareness, the leader then provided a competency framework and clear expectations to get to the next level and help align his self-perception with reality.

5. Defensiveness.  When receiving feedback, we might disagree, believing we’re better than assessed.  For example, someone might think they’re a great listener despite feedback suggesting otherwise. In this case, asking for specific data points and providing evidence from peers, directs, and other stakeholders through anonymous 360 feedback is helpful. Seeing the negative impact can motivate change.  Another form of defensiveness is dismissal.  Some might say, "This is just how I am," or "I've been successful with these behaviors so far, why change?" Marshall Goldsmith says, "What got you here won’t get you there," highlighting that success often comes despite derailing tendencies, not because of them.

6.  Lack of feedback.  Many people lack self-awareness because they seldom receive feedback, especially negative.  People avoid giving bad news or lack the skills to deliver it constructively.  This issue is more pronounced for senior leaders, who receive less accurate self-assessments as they climb higher, mainly due to a shortage of honest feedback and being limited to what you might be able to share with others.  One study showed a leader frequently interrupting others was unaware of it, illustrating the loneliness at the top, where they are often surrounded by yes-people.

Benefits of Self-Awareness 

1. Reduces Stress & Regulates Emotions.  Cognitive psychology shows that one of the most effective methods for reducing stress is to engage in self-reflection, viewing stress as a challenge rather than a threat.  Self-disciplined contemplation of core values, goals, and principles can prevent or manage stress.  Understanding one’s feelings and those of others is more important than IQ.

2. Greater performance, focus, and effectiveness.  83% of high performers are self-aware.  Visionary leaders know what they want to achieve and how their actions affect others.  Self-awareness allows us to focus on the right opportunities and keep emotions from holding us back.

3. Stronger leadership.  Tasha Eurich’s book "Insight" found that internal self-awareness is critical for successful leaders.  They know their strengths, weaknesses, needs, goals, and how they come across.  This is in contrast to clueless leaders who tend to be ineffective.  Great leaders continuously ask questions to diagnose their needs and goals and wonder what blind spots they may have.  Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

4. Enhances Authenticity.  Nancy McKinstry, CEO of Wolters Kluwer said, “You can’t be authentic if you are not self-aware.  How can you be transparent and open, talk about your goals, or share how you influence change without self-awareness?”  It enables transparency, openness, and the ability to influence change. 

5. Increases humility.   Self-aware individuals know what they are good at and what they are not.  Even confident individuals can acknowledge their ignorance in certain areas, fostering curiosity and humility.  Steve Jobs, for example, was aware of his limitations and welcomed disagreements.   He held strong convictions but was willing to change his mind when presented with better information.   Ed Catmull shared a story about Jobs, who wanted Apple to make the iPad before the iPhone.  However, his team convinced him otherwise, and he agreed.  He insisted that Apple provide the app despite his team’s disagreement.   When the iPhone launched, Jobs quickly realized his team was right and changed his mind, demonstrating his ability to adapt and embrace humility.   

Developing self-awareness is crucial for overcoming personal and professional challenges. It allows us to break free from ignorance, understand our unique backgrounds, manage cognitive biases, and receive constructive feedback. By fostering self-awareness, we can reduce stress, improve performance, enhance leadership, and cultivate authenticity and humility.  Embrace these practices to unlock your full potential and achieve greater success

Quote of the day: “If we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down.”  – Rainer Maria Rilke

Question: What do you see as the biggest challenges of self-awareness?  When is ignorance bliss, or is it not?  Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.

The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on ways to develop your self-awareness.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further

What benefits have you experienced?

The Self-Awareness Gap: Are You As Insightful As You Think? (Self-awareness series 1/3)

Self-awareness is one of the most underrated yet foundational skills necessary to navigate complexity and achieve success. Despite its importance, Author Tasha Eurich in Insight asserts about 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10-15% are, meaning around 80% are deceiving themselves.

The concept of self-awareness is not new.  Socrates exhorted us to "know thyself" as a reminder to reflect on our life’s mission and strategies to attain it.  Similarly, Confucius urged individuals to reflect on their values, followed by action steps to implement those values in interpersonal settings.

Components of Self-Awareness

1 Internal Self-Awareness involves understanding who we are, what is important to us, and recognizing our abilities.  It can be broken down into additional elements:  

·      1A. Desires and motives.  Do we know what drives us when we are really honest with ourselves?  We may often think it is one thing, the aspirational movies (e.g., having an impact), and share that with others, but in reality, it could be something else or something in addition that we conceal (like status, power, belonging, or money).

·      1B. Strengths, weaknesses, and capabilities.  Do we fully understand our abilities and articulate them clearly? Are we aware of our strengths and leverage them to achieve desired results?  Do we know our weaknesses and have a plan to address them?

A relevant story involves a businessman seeking help from a guru. The businessman frequently interrupts the monk, so the monk fills the businessman’s cup of water and lets it overflow. The businessman reacts angrily, calling the monk crazy. The monk explains that the overflowing cup represents the businessman’s mind, which is full of information, preventing him from listening.  This illustrates a weakness the businessman may not have been aware of - his propensity to talk rather than listen, hindering his ability to receive wise counsel.

·      1C. Recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions.  Can we accurately perceive our emotions in the moment, distinguishing between being frustrated, disappointed, or betrayed?  Do we understand the causes of these emotions and how they drive our behaviors?  Are we in command of our emotions, choosing our behaviors rather than operating on autopilot and ruminating about past events that leave us powerless? Aristotle emphasized emotional skillfulness, such as having agency in motivating oneself, delaying gratification, and controlling urges to act, and that begins with self-awareness.

2. External awareness – involves your assessment of others and how they perceive you.

·      2A. Assessment of others.  How good are we at reading the room?  Do we have the social competence to understand others’ moods, behaviors, and motives? You may read somebody as being an excellent team player for 1-2 things you noticed have done to help the teams, but really the consensus is that this person is way more self-serving, and only when you are around, they act as a team player.  The team dislikes working with this person because they take credit and share none.   Accurate assessments of others involve recognizing the difference between the golden rule (treat others the way you want to be treated) and the platinum rule (treat others the way they want to be treated).

·      2B. Awareness of how others perceive you and your impact on others.  Are we aware of how others see us and our impact on them?  For example, you might think you're good at running meetings, but others may feel you monopolize conversations and your meetings are not inclusive.  Because Adam Grant was aware of his high agreeableness on the Big Five personality spectrum, he realized he needed to balance this by being more challenging when appropriate.  Instead of just nodding and smiling when students made any comments, he would have a neutral expression, especially if what they were sharing was not correct.  He asked his students if they were comfortable being challenged, showing great self-awareness in understanding how his natural tendencies impacted others.

Self-awareness is vital for personal and professional success. Understanding ourselves and how others perceive us enables us to navigate life’s complexities more effectively.  Embrace the journey of self-awareness for continuous improvement and greater fulfillment.

Quote of the day: “People overestimate what they can do one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”  -Bill Gates

Question: How aware are you?  How do you know? Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.

The next blog in this series 2/3 will focus on the challenges and benefits of self-awareness.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further.

How Self-Aware Are You?

Top Tips for Effective Help Requests (leadership vulnerability 5/5)

Our previous blog explored the nuances of seeking support and the importance of doing so effectively.  Building on that discussion, this article dives deeper into actionable tips for maximizing the impact of your help requests.

Here are some invaluable tips to consider when reaching out for assistance:

1. Identify the Right Person.  Start with people near or below your level or those designed to address specific queries in departments like Legal, Finance, or HR.   

2. Get the Timing Right.  Be sure to choose the least disruptive time, not while they are eating lunch or just getting ready for a big meeting.  You can say, “Would you have a minute after tomorrow’s meeting to answer a few questions?”  If you notice they have a pattern of answering emails in the morning, you can reach out to them then.  Your priorities are not somebody else’s emergencies, so you want them to pick the best time.  When you see somebody working and ask if they have a minute, but it is really 10 minutes, it is disingenuous.  Instead, you can say, “I had a couple of questions on this topic, it is not a rush but if you have time later in the week or next, I’d love to schedule 15 minutes to talk through my thinking.”

3. Bundle Your Questions.  If you have a series of questions, collect multiple queries to streamline communication and avoid unnecessary interruptions.   It would be better to have five questions at one time, than to have a single question asked on four separate occasions.

4. Take Good Notes.  When they assist, actively listen and document information to enhance comprehension and avoid repeated inquiries. 

5. Be Specific About Your Ask.  Outline your goals, a list of things you have tried, the blocks you are experiencing, and the kind of help you seek in what time frame because it lets people know if they are the right person to help.  If they offer assistance that is not what you are seeking because it could cause more work or will not solve the problem, thank them for the offer and reiterate the specific kind of help that you are seeking, what you were planning on doing next and that you will reevaluate if you decide to pursue that avenue.

6. Build your Board of Directors.  Instead of seeking help when needed, building a group of advisors or informal mentors you can go to for anything if problems arise is instrumental.  Author and Wharton Professor Adam Grant has a Challenge Network: whenever he wants to pressure test an idea, he will contact his networks to get advice or a different perspective.  A contract with the group is in place, so it normalizes any requested help.  It’s nice when you can put in the subject line, I need your help, and within minutes, you have responses because that’s how the group operates.

7. When You Want to Create a Culture of Asking for Help.  Normalize seeking support in your team or organization by integrating processes that encourage open communication. Some companies start Monday meetings off with gives and gets.  “As we enter this week, what is one request you have and something you could provide.”  All go around and share.

8. Show Gratitude and Acknowledge their Help.  After you have gotten the help you need, circle back and let them know the impact of your help.  It can be as little as an email,” I appreciate you taking the time to explain this concept to me, given how busy you are with…”  When you mention what’s on their plate, they take notice.  People also love hearing how their advice, when accepted, is helpful; they enjoy sharing information that makes a difference.  It will increase the odds of them wanting to help again. If their help was more substantial, you could even give them a small thoughtful gift as a nice touch.   

9. Be Available to Help.  There will likely be a time when your coworker needs help solving a problem.  Plan on doing something to help them whenever the opportunity arises. This contributes to goodwill, cements this help norm going forward, and creates a working environment centered around teamwork.

10. Avoid unhelpful Prefaces:

·      Trapping people - “May I ask you a favor?”  It’s almost like they have to say yes because if they say no without knowing the favor, they can come off as non-collaborative.

·      Offering apologies - “I feel terrible asking you for this,” can make the experience seem less positive.

·      Emphasize reciprocation – “I’ll help you if you help me”.  It can also backfire because people prefer to avoid being indebted to anyone or to engage in a purely transactional exchange.

·      Minimizing your need - “I don’t normally ask for help” or “It’s just a tiny thing”—is equally unproductive because it suggests the assistance is trivial or unnecessary.

Recognize that no one has all the answers, and that's perfectly okay.  By tapping into the collective wisdom of your colleagues and mentors, you unlock a wealth of knowledge and insights that propel both individual and organizational success.

Quote of the day: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." - Mahatma Gandhi

Question:  Who is on your Board of Directors?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

When do you know it’s time to ask for help?

How to Ask for Help (leadership vulnerability 4/5)

The previous article discussed the hurdles and rewards of seeking help; this blog will delve into practical scenarios and approaches for asking for assistance effectively.

1. When You Have No Idea What You’re Doing: 

1A. Show your work & get clarity.  Be sure to do your homework before just asking because if it is something that you can figure out yourself, you want to stay away from those questions.  Asking somebody and they look on the internet to find the answer in 30 seconds will show you should have taken that step.  Make sure to consider simple options; many people try to break down doors when they have not even checked if it is unlocked.

1B. Start by looking through your available resources – inbox, team folder, and company intranet.  You do not need to spend extensive time here, but briefly perusing may get you the correct information.  Know your limitations; do not torture yourself for hours or days before getting the help because people value efficiency.  Dedicate a reasonable time you want to spend digging into the work yourself. You don’t want your boss to wonder why you did not come to her sooner to get a little help that would have unblocked and expedited the whole process.  Also, if you try to do it yourself when you have no idea, it can turn out wrong, and you will have wasted your time.

When you do ask for help because you have no idea, you can share with them where you looked and what you tried so you are viewed as being resourceful.  You can say, “I’ve explored our resources and consulted with Sam but I still have questions.  I would love to get more clarity on the details of the XYZ project. Could we set a time to sit down, talk through the nuts and bolts of this assignment, and make sure we’re on the same page?”

2. When You Have Too Much on Your Plate.  It happens to the best of us. You say yes to every project because you want to be helpful, and now you’re completely buried.  You’ve reached your limit, and you know there’s no way you’ll finish everything by the deadline, even if you pulled all-nighters for the next three weeks.  Request some assistance from your other coworkers.  You may feel like you’re shirking responsibility.  But everyone has been in this situation at least once in their life. You can say, “I don’t like feeling like I’m trying to pass off work, but I’m swamped.  If you have any extra time, would you mind helping me with the XYZ aspect of this project or  “I know that’s your area of expertise; Would you mind lending a hand or providing guidance?”

3. When You Made a Mistake.  Mistakes are inevitable; when they happen, do not try to cover them up and hope nobody will notice.  If you need help fixing your slip-up, approach the appropriate people immediately.  Mistakes can be meaningful learning experiences, and you build skills when you work with colleagues to resolve such issues.  Asking for help when you make a mistake can also help you develop problem-solving strategies.  “I made an error on the report on this project.  Can you assist me in rectifying it?  Your expertise would be invaluable.”

4. When You Need Additional Expertise or Insight.  So, if you’re working on a projectyou think could greatly benefit from the additional input of your co-workers, do not hesitate to ask them to lend their advice and talents.  It fosters collaboration among your team members and helps make your project the best it can be.  You can say, “I’m working on XYZ project, and I’d love your expert insight into this area.  Can we set up a time to chat and bounce ideas off each other?  I think your input could take this project to the next level!”

4A. Contextualize Your Inquiry When Possible.  Instead of asking, how do I complete this form, you can ask, “I know there has been a change in some processes lately, is this the correct form to complete for this engagement?” 

4B. Prepare Solutions and Attempts.  Your coworkers and supervisors may be more likely to help you if you have tried to resolve the issue and have some possible solutions you can try.  Doing so shows that you have been attempting to manage the challenge independently, giving your colleagues a place to start when they offer suggestions.  Having these prepared as you approach your colleagues for assistance also shows your competence and problem-solving skills while giving them insight into your issue.

4C. Offer Options with Recommendations.  If the question is subjective about what to do next or the best approach, and there are no right or wrong answers, only better or worse approaches, instead of asking open-ended questions, such as what do you suggest, you can provide a menu for them to react to.  For example, “I know this customer has had a pivot and is focused on that.  As such, I narrowed the best approach to this campaign as A, B, and C.  Here are the pros and cons for each.  I recommend A for these reasons.  It would be great to get help on the approach.”  You can also ask, “Am I thinking about it in the right way, or do you feel differently?  Giving them a menu of options enables them to assess your ideas quickly, and, if needed, come up with a few of their own.

Embracing the art of seeking help is a testament to humility and adaptability.  By leveraging our peer’s collective knowledge and experience, we foster a culture of collaboration and continuous improvement.

Quote of the day: "It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." - John P. Kotter

Question:  What strategies have you found most effective in seeking support?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!  

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 5/5 will focus on top tips to consider when requesting help.

How do you ask for help?

Why Asking for Help Matters (leadership vulnerabilities 3/5)

In our professional journeys, we inevitably encounter moments of uncertainty and challenge.  Though asking for help may initially feel daunting, it unveils many personal and organizational benefits.  Let’s explore the concerns, rewards, and strategies associated with seeking assistance in the workplace.

Concerns with Asking for Help:

1. We can Feel Self-Reliant.  If we are used to being self-sufficient, figuring things out, and getting all things done, suddenly feeling like we want or need assistance from others can be hard and feel humbling, challenging our sense of autonomy and competence.

2. It’s Uncomfortable.  There are social risks we can encounter in asking for help, we may fear rejection, and if we do need help and others do not help us, we can feel disappointed or even resentful if we have assisted in the past.  We also worry about our perception; we want to look good and competent.

The fear of rejection and concerns about perception may deter us from reaching out for support, fostering discomfort and reluctance.

3. We View it as a Sign of Weakness.  We want to put our best foot forward.  If we are starting a new job, we want to ensure they hire us for a reason.  When we ask for help, it is a failure because we should know what to do and how to do it.  We can feel like we have a diminished status because they know something we don’t know.   

4. Worried about Getting the Wrong Kind of Help.  Sometimes, you can ask somebody, and they can offer help in their particular and rigid way rather than in the way you prefer to the point where it does not even feel like help anymore.  It can create more work and stress in the process and have us regret asking in the first place.

5. Don’t Want to Owe Anybody Anything.  If we ask for help, we may feel like we must return the favor or will have something held over our heads.

6. Uncertainty in Seeking Guidance.  You may not know where to start with your help and you do not want to ask the wrong person, thereby exposing your incompetence if you do not have to, so we feel it is better to remain silent than foolish for speaking up in the first place. 

Benefits of Asking for Help

1. Acquisition of New Skills.  Seeking assistance fosters learning and skill development, enabling individuals to expand their knowledge base and enhance proficiency.  By asking, you learn expectations and processes that will allow you to do your job more effectively.

2. Facilitation of Career Progression.  It’s virtually impossible to advance in modern organizations without assistance from others.  Cross-functional teams, fragile project management techniques, matrixed or hierarchy-minimizing structures, and increasingly collaborative office cultures require you to constantly push for the cooperation and support of your managers, peers, and Directs.  Your performance, development, and career progression depend more than ever on seeking the advice, referrals, and resources you need.  Rhonda Morris, Head of Human Resources at Chevron, said that asking for help is a sign of strength because it shows that you are engaged, taking ownership, and signaling that you can deliver the work asked of you.

3. Effective Workload Management.  Sometimes, when you ask for help, you can learn the cause of the overload and overwhelm and redesign your work for more efficient scheduling.  You may also find that some of your coworkers handle tasks better than others, which can lead to a more even distribution of work.

4. Enhanced Productivity and Efficiency.  Asking for help allows your coworkers to recognize your limitations and build most robust workflows for the team, which can improve productivity for the overall company when they are managing resources efficiently.

5. Strengthen Relationships with your Coworkers and Supervisors.  You build camaraderie by acknowledging your colleagues' specializations and expertise while working toward a common goal.  Many enjoy helping their peers; asking for help can build those relationships.  By not asking others for help, you are depriving them of the good feeling they get from helping.  Also, it benefits the person providing help.  When we request help, we allow others to share their knowledge and expertise, which can be incredibly fulfilling for them.  It strengthens relationships and builds trust, creating a culture of reciprocity and collaboration.

6. Build Psychological Safety & A Collaborative Work Environment.  Psychological safety pertains to the belief that one can take interpersonal risks, such as asking questions or for help, or admitting mistakes, without facing negative consequences.  When employees feel safe, they are more likely to seek assistance, enhancing team collaboration and problem-solving.  Recent studies have demonstrated that teams with high levels of psychological safety tend to outperform those with lower levels.  Moreover, employees in these environments experience lower stress levels and greater job satisfaction, leading to increased productivity and overall organizational success.  The process can build goodwill between you and your coworkers as you recognize their expertise and reinforce that your team is working toward the same goals.  In this environment, asking for help becomes a natural part of the learning process rather than something to be feared or avoided.  When people are invested in each other’s success, creativity and innovation blossoms.

Embracing the art of asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a testament to strength, resilience, and a commitment to continuous growth.  We unlock our full potential and foster a culture of collaboration and excellence by harnessing the collective expertise and support within our professional networks.

Quote of the day: "The strong individual is the one who asks for help when they need it." - Rona Barrett

Question:  How do you like to ask for help?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 4/5 will focus on tactics for asking for help.

The Importance of Help - When do you Ask?

Effective Strategies for Handling ‘I Don’t Know’ Moments (leadership vulnerabilities 2/5)

In the previous blog, we delved into the concerns and benefits of embracing the phrase “I don’t know.” This article will explore practical strategies and scripts for employing those words confidently and gracefully in various scenarios.

Common Scenarios and Responses:

1. When Asked a Factual Question in a Meeting.  It happens to us all, we may be behind on our research, our minds may go blank, or we simply don’t know.  Here are some approaches to take and scripts to use:

·      “That’s exactly what I’m seeking to answer.”  This shows your boss that you are with them, and the information will be forthcoming.

·      “Let me find out” or “Let me look into that and get back to you with what I discover.”  Or “Great question; let me prioritize a response and circle back.”  When expressed in a supportive and self-assured way, you say you are willing to work to locate the answer.  You show yourself as cooperative, valuable, and a resourceful team player.

·      “I want to ensure I have the most updated information, let me confirm with you by 5 pm today,” or “That’s a good question, and I want to give you an accurate response; let me get back to you by the end of day.”   This shows that you are on top of this work, and it is fast moving, so you want to return with all the correct information.

·      If you have a general idea, you can respond at a high level and avoid specifics. 

o   For example, if somebody asks how the campaign went you can say, “Initial numbers showed it went well, but let me dig into it more, run some reports, and send exact figures to you by the end of the day/week.”  This shows you as somebody who airs on the side of providing accurate information.

·      As a leader, you may not know the ins and outs of every project in your department, let alone your function, that’s ok, you can redirect your response to another.

o   “I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer that.”  Then you follow up with the person you think is most appropriate.  If the person is in the meeting, you can turn to them, “Jill, I know you are running lead on this project; what information do you have now that you might share?”  Or you can say, “My information suggests that Jill would have better insights on this topic; let me turn it over to him.” 

o   If the person is not at the meeting, you can say, “let me connect you to Bill.  He has been doing a great job leading this project, and I want him to provide the most updated information.”

2. When Asked an Opinion Question.  For example, “What is your take on remote work,” and you do not have an established perspective yet:

·      If you have no idea, you can say: “That is an interesting and complex question.  I want to ensure I give it the full attention it deserves; let me ponder it a little more and follow up with my thoughts.”  Or “let me flush out my thoughts once I have the headspace to give this more direct consideration.”

·      If you have a vague idea, you can say, “That is a good question, I can briefly share my preliminary thoughts, but I want to reflect on this question longer and get back to you when I organize my ideas even more.”  Or, “I have a vague idea but want to reflect on this question longer to provide a detailed perspective.”

·      If you want to enlist others’ perspectives or if you simply are unsure where to look, you can say, “Thank you for the question; I appreciate you bringing it up.  I do not have a strong perspective on the topic right now, but I’m curious to learn what others think?”  Or “I have that same question, what thoughts do you or the rest of you have?”

·      When you know of the best person to answer, “Why don’t we ask Bob, this is a topic they have been living and breathing so it would be helpful to start with their perspective.

3. When Asked a Question Adjacent to the Topic.  If you are presenting on a topic and know everything about it but get asked a question about something tangential.  For example, “How does the program you’re proposing for one target group impact another?”

·      “We haven’t studied working parents, but here’s what I can tell you / what I know: Seniors, whom the grant designated as the target audience, responded favorably in our initial studies.” This strategy brings the discussion back on topic and ensures that all your hard work and research are not wasted.

·      “My best guess would be this…” You can offer an explanation based on what you know, a working hypothesis or a few ideas that can be a launching point for a brainstorming session.

·      I’ll note this for further investigation; let’s return to our main topic.

4. When You Want to Empower the Team to Find the Answer.  You can ask probing questions to get a clearer picture or guide them toward finding solutions.  Your actions will also have demonstrated your commitment to finding an answer, and your team will respect this.  Such questions include:

·      “What else have they read or been told about the issue?”  

·      “What have you tried to do, and how did it go?”  

·      “How important is the issue and its connection to our key priorities?  

·      “Who is impacted by this the most, and what is the cost if nothing changes?”

·      That’s an interesting concept; how would you go about testing the idea?

·      I’m curious to learn what others think.

5. When Asked a Question that Sort of Makes Sense.  Don’t assume you should know the answer, ask them questions to get more information to possibly react to or you can refer them to another team.  You can say,

·       “Can you provide more context?”

·       “That’s an interesting question.  What’s driving it?”

·       "I'm not entirely sure.  Can you point me in the right direction, or do you know someone who might have the answer?"

·       "I'm not familiar with this topic, but there are experts in our team/department who will likely be able to assist you."

6. If You Already Responded and Were Unhappy with It.

·      You can say, “I tend to be a deeper processor, I do not like to fire off my first thoughts, but instead take my time with concepts to think about.  Let me ponder this more and offer my revised thoughts next time we connect.

·      “Let me take some additional time; my best ideas usually emerge on the drive home or while I’m making dinner, let me get back to you on my point of view a little later.”

·      “My best ideas happen with reflection.  Let me get back to you once I’ve had the time to do that.”

7. When Asks a Question that Does Not Deserve a Response.  Some people ask questions just to derail the agenda, embarrass, or trap you.  They pose absurd hypothetical questions that are unrelated, so do not feel like you have to play their game and answer them.  You can say:

·      “That question will take us in a different direction, I’m happy to meet with you later to discuss this topic or focus on your specific interest.”

·      “Thank you for the question, let’s connect offline to address it in detail, or I want to be mindful of time and stick to the agenda topics for this meeting.”

8. When you Do Not Know an Answer and Should not be Expected to Know.  You can say.

·      This is out of my purview; I’d recommend consulting with John in Finance for the best response.”

When you say ‘I don’t’ know’ with honesty and confidence, without sacrificing integrity, you seize the opportunity to showcase humility and earn respect from others.

Quote of the day: "The more I know, the more I realize I don't know." - Albert Einstein

Question:  How have you seen others respond in similar situations that might be helpful to you?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you! 

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The next blog in this series 3/5 will focus on the concerns and benefits of asking for help.

The Power of ‘I Don’t Know’

Embracing the Power of ‘I Don’t Know’ in Leadership (leadership vulnerability 1/5)

Why do we find it challenging to utter the phrase, ‘I don't know?’ In leadership roles, there's often a pressure to have all the answers, as if uncertainty is a sign of weakness.  However, hiding our lack of knowledge can lead to hastily provided, potentially inaccurate responses.  Let's explore the challenges and concerns of admitting ignorance and the remarkable benefits of embracing this vulnerability.

Challenges and Concerns with Using the Phase.

1. Overcoming the Fear of Incompetence.  Admitting not knowing can make us feel vulnerable, especially when we think we should have the answers.  Some of us carry childhood experiences of being shamed for not knowing; a fellow classmate or teacher who made an example of us, so we may have a reluctance to appear unprepared or inexperienced.

2. Dealing with Vulnerability.  It's uncomfortable to operate from ignorance, as we often prefer to showcase our strengths.  Acknowledging gaps in our knowledge can sting our pride and challenge our sense of competence. 

Despite these genuine concerns, the upsides of saying "I don't know" far outweigh the downsides.  Let’s explore the benefits of embracing uncertainty:

1. Casts a Perception of Being Genuine and Trustworthy.  Admitting uncertainty comes across as sincere.  Conversely, pretending to know when we do not erode trust.  Some people speak so much and show an abundance of confidence, but that should not be confused with competence.  The babble hypothesis proposes that people who talk more in groups, no matter what they say, are more likely to be considered leaders by group members.  So extroverted people will talk more and consequently be considered leaders, but it is only a matter of time before people are on to their empty assurances.  To gain respect, it is better to show yourself as a straight shooter and not someone who makes things up along the way.

2. Increases Credibility and Relationships.  People tend to trust individuals who are honest about their limitations.  Saying ‘I don't know’ can strengthen trust with colleagues, clients, and superiors.  When you pretend, you can harm relationships.  Wharton Professor and Author Adam Grant tells a story of when he was in his mid-20s and was asked to teach a class on motivation to about 50 Air Force Generals. At the end of the first session, he got harsh feedback.  One person said, “There was more knowledge in the audience than on the podium.”  Another added, “I got nothing from this session, but I trust the instructor got useful insights.”  Grant was devastated and wanted to quit but already committed to a second session with another group a week later.  He asked around to find out the one thing he could change in the next session, and they all said how he introduced himself.   Instead of pretending he knew everything in a room full of experts, he showed himself as somebody trying to establish his credentials.  So, when he introduced himself, he opened with, “I know what you are thinking: what can I learn from this professor who is 12 years old.”   After a long silence, somebody broke the ice and said, “You got to be at least 13.”  The room laughed and created a much better beginning, which led to higher ratings the second time.  It is because it is better to admit what he did not know than to claim he knows a lot of stuff or provide speculative information because that would damage his credibility. 

3. Empowers Others.  By recognizing boundaries, we invite others to step up and contribute their expertise.  It encourages others to think critically and share their knowledge, which leads to more robust discussions and better decision-making.  Also, when we feel like we do not need to have all the answers and our team is taking on more of the work, we can be freed to focus on unblocking and engaging in more strategic work that only we can do, and that pushes the organization forward.  Alan Mullaly, CEO of Ford Motor Company and Former President of Boeing, said that the job of a leader is not to come in with all the answers.  It is to find the people in the organization who have the answers and make a path clearer so they can excel.

4. Cultivates Teamwork.  Acknowledging we lack answers creates an environment where colleagues feel comfortable doing the same.  This open environment invites various people to share and be free with their disclosures, even if they are unorthodox or outlandish, which usually leads to the most creative and innovative ideas.  A culture of teamwork is created, where individuals support each other and collectively seek solutions, ultimately enhancing organizational effectiveness. 

5. Avoids Giving Wrong Information.  Offering inaccurate information can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and costly mistakes.  Saying ‘I don't know’ prevents the spread of incorrect information.  Most people are not expecting immediate answers, so we can take that pressure off ourselves and trade fast answers with sound decision-making and more accurate ones, which will build credibility.

6. Alleviates Stress. Pretending to know something when we do not can lead to unnecessary stress. We can worry ourselves with these questions: Are they going to ask a follow-up question? Are they going to offer contradictory information? When am I going to get exposed, and what will be the consequences? Admitting uncertainty relieves this pressure, allowing us to focus on finding accurate solutions rather than maintaining a facade. 

7. Fosters Learning and Humility.  Admitting your limitations can be a catalyst for personal and professional growth.  It creates opportunities to seek answers, learn from others, and improve your skills and knowledge.  The truth is, no matter how knowledgeable we are, the business world is too complex and nuanced to know it all.   Acknowledging your lack of knowledge reflects humility and garners respect from colleagues and superiors who appreciate your openness to new information.  We show others that we are building more of a culture of knowledge seekers than a know-it-all culture.

While admitting ‘I don't know’ may initially feel uncomfortable, it offers numerous benefits for effective leadership and organizational success.  By embracing vulnerability and prioritizing honesty, leaders can foster trust, collaboration, and innovation within their teams.

Quote of the day: “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” ―Socrates

Question:  Tell us about a time when you shared how you didn’t know something; how did it impact the situation?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.

The following blog in this series 2/5 will focus on practical strategies for sharing when you don’t know.

How do you say, ‘I don’t know?’

Effective Networking Questions and Frameworks to Further Enhance Your Prowess (networking series 4/4)

While the last article focused on how to network effectively, in this installment of our networking series, we delve into the art of small talk and conversational building techniques and talk tracks to prepare for many networking situations.

Small Talk, Big Impact

Many people downplay small talk as a conversation about less important things, often between people who do not know each other well.  They trivialize it as surface speak and a time waster.  Whether you love or hate it, it might be more important than you think.  We mainly do it to scan for topics to find common ground and develop initial rapport.  Factual questions such as where you grew up, what you do for fun, or what your family is like allow you to build trust and invite others to go deeper.  However, if you are lazy by just speaking about one thing, casually rambling, and asking close-ended questions, you will make people want to walk away from the conversation because it is boring.   Examples include, do you like the conference?  When is your flight home? If your energy is low, you show the person that you are not into it, and nobody wants that kind of small and low-energy talk.

Topics for Meaningful Conversations: Building Your Toolbox

Here's a curated list of conversation starters and follow-up questions to guide your interactions and keep conversations flowing naturally:

·      Location.  Where are you based / where is home for you?  What is the most interesting thing about your town/city?  What do you like best or least about where you live?  Have you ever considered living in another place?  If they are not from the area they grew up, you can ask what they miss most about home?  How did you like growing up there?  Where did you grow up? How is it different than where you live now?

·      Company Experience.  What was your journey through the company?  If they are new to the company, you can ask, what did you do beforehand, and what attracted you here?  Which mentors or leadership have been most influential in your growth?

·      Career.  How did you get into your career?  Is it much different than what you wanted to do when you were younger?  What did you study in school, and how did you decide to study that?  What do you love about your career?  What’s most exciting about your industry right now?  What do you think about doing next in your career?

·      Travel.  Have you had the opportunity to do some summer (or whatever season) travel yet?  Do you have any upcoming travel?  What do you like to do or where do you like to eat when you visit this city?

·      Food and Drink.  What are you drinking?  What restaurants would you recommend?  What is the signature dish you like to order?

·      Sports.  What team are you rooting for this year?  How did you get into being a fan of this team?

·      Hobbies.  What do you like to do for fun?  What’s been energizing you personally lately?  What are some of the things you have been passionate about lately?  What keeps you busy outside of work?  What are you reading/ watching/ listening to right now that is worth checking out?

·      General.  What have been some highs and lows for you this year / recently?  How do you like spending your weekends?

Common Scenarios and Approaches: Tailoring Your Conversations

1. Following Up After an Online Event.  You can reach out to the Speaker or Attendee:

·      Send a message on Linkedin with a note.  “I enjoyed your talk, especially the point you made about…. Sometimes speakers make a comment that they do not feel is significant, but if it stuck with you for whatever reason, tell them why; it is helpful to know that.

·      I appreciated the information/comment you shared; I work in a similar space and would love to connect to chat with you about x. Can I send an email to set up some time to connect?

·      Your talk/comment was insightful.  I’ve been in the space for a few years and would love to hear about how you overcame the challenge of…

2. Logging on to Zoom before the meeting begins:

·      Where are you based?  If they bring up something in the news, you can follow up on that.  For example, I hear there is more snow than usual in your area, is that affecting you?

·      How is the weather near you?  Is that common for this time of year?

·      What are you all looking forward to this week/month/season? 

3. In-person conferences:

·      You can ask about what their favorite session was so far. You can ask a follow-up to discover what they learned from it or why it stuck with them.  If that was also your favorite, you could discuss the concepts more deeply.

·      If they traveled from another city, you could ask where they are coming from, how their flight was, and what is one of the first places they are excited to visit while they are here.

4. Networking Events

·      How do you know the event organizer?  How did you hear about this event?  What brought you here tonight? What are you hoping to get out of this event?

·      Have you come to one of these before, and if so, what stood out for you?

5. Asking Somebody to Coffee

·      I heard how well your presentation went to the executive board.  Can I take you to coffee and learn about what you’ve done in this aspect?  

·      Everybody is talking about what you did with this customer and this project I’d love to learn more.

6. Requesting Introductions

·      You can say, “Who do you know in this organization who is a great teacher or doing an excellent job that you think would be valuable to connect with?”

7. Here is a framework for approaching informational interviews within your company to learn about other opportunities and possibly change teams

·      Introductions

o   Give your pitch & general information about yourself (what excites you and what are your goals)

o   Find out about the person, their team, structure/composition, goals.

·      Uncover more details.

o   Ask specifically about the things you are interested in.  How does your team experience career development?  How does your team advance diversity efforts?

·      Express interest and have an ask.

o   I am interested in what you said about the work your team is doing and the culture you create, I’d love to stay connected.  What is the best way to learn about new or upcoming roles?

o   If you need assistance; I’d be happy to take on an assignment (if you have the capacity, this is an opportunity for you to stretch your experience and learn more about the team.)

o   Is there anybody else you think would be valuable to connect with about this topic / about x, y, or z topic.

8. Here is a framework for developing more robust cross-functional / stakeholder meetings, especially if you just joined the company and are in your 30-day Listening Tour

·      Small talks

o   How did you get to where you are?

o   Where did you grow up, where do you live, and what do you like about where you live?

o   What do you like to do outside of work?

·      Introductions

o   Share your story and hear theirs

·      Function-related questions

o High-level questions to help understand the vision and strategy and find areas to connect

o   Specific questions to understand the engineering, data, product, or processes better

·       Team Structure

o   How is your team structured?

o   Who is outsourced, and who is not?  How do you pull in resources?

o   How do they perform compared to other top teams, and what contributes to their success

·       Future direction/alignment

o   Where do you see this product going/ what is the alignment?

·       Ways of working.

o   What is the best way for us to work together going forward?

o   What’s the best cadence for us to connect?

By mastering effective networking questions and conversation frameworks, you can elevate your networking approach and unlock many opportunities.  Every interaction is a chance to forge meaningful connections and cultivate valuable relationships that can propel your personal and professional growth.

Quote of the day: "Opportunities do not float like clouds in the sky. They're attached to people. If you're looking for an opportunity, you're really looking for a person." - Reid Hoffman.

Question:   What’s one of the best questions you have been asked that allowed for a deeper connection?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities, contact me to explore this topic further.

What questions do you ask for networking success?

Elevating Your Networking Game: Best Practices and Proven Methods (networking series 3/4)

Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting your career path, mastering these networking techniques can propel you toward your goals with confidence and purpose.

Before Networking Beings: Prepare for Success:

1. Craft Your Elevator Pitch.  The question, “What do you do,” is one that many dread because they do not like talking about themselves or are not sure how to do it effectively.  Instead of responding with your profession, “I’m a Product Engineer,” you can talk about the problem you solve or the passion that drives you before sharing your role.  You should deliver it succinctly in less than 90 seconds and choose a starting point that resonates with your audience's interests.

1A. Start with the Problem.  For example, “Most small businesses fail; I am a VP at X company focused on helping budding entrepreneurs be successful. I teach them to write impactful business plans, perfect their pitches, and get seed funding so they can beat the odds and live their dream as a business owner depositing positive impact.”

1B. Start with Passion.  Share your enthusiasm for your work and its impact.  For example, “I live to make other people successful.  As a Communication Coach, I help business leaders with their executive presence so they are noticed in the boardroom, inspirational speeches so they can empower their teams to do great things, and influencing skills to better collaborate with their stakeholders to get work done.  If you wanted to start with your role before sharing your passion, you could say, “As a Sr. Director of Member Experiences, I am passionate about championing technology to solve business problems and creating delightful customer experiences.  One product I helped to create recently positively impacted customers as they were able to… .”

2. Define your Current Networking Goal.  Clarify your objectives, whether finding a mentor, advancing your career, growing your business, or building a professional support network.  Understanding what success looks like enables you to network with intention. 

3. Identify Key Contacts.  If you are attending a big event, it can be overwhelming not to have a plan.  However, if you can access the invite list and research and target individuals who align with your goals before attending, that can be effective. You can even email them in advance about your excitement in connecting.   This proactive approach will save time and energy, especially for introverts who can quickly get drained.  Instead of being exhausted by a 2–3-hour event, if you have met your goal and had three meaningful connections, you can leave after 40 minutes to not get burned out by the experience.  While this is just a tentative plan, if you meet people who are not on your list and the interaction is fruitful, you can also consider that a success. 

4. Prepare Your Ask.   If an opportunity presents itself, for example, they say, “I love what you are trying to do; how can I help you?”  It would be a missed chance if you had nothing meaningful to ask.  You may want an introduction with their peer or an opportunity to connect again to learn about their career journey because you want to make a similar shift.  When in doubt, asking for learning and connection opportunities is always good.

5. Define your Offer.  Consider 1-3 things you can offer in case they need assistance.  It is essential to understand your time constraints so you can provide an appropriate offer with the allotted time you have to spare.  

5. Create a List of questions.  Prepare a few engaging questions to facilitate meaningful conversations.  Having them ready in advance alleviates the pressure and fosters genuine interactions.  This will be the focus of the next article.

6. Craft Short stories.  You can prepare 1-2 interesting anecdotes to captivate your audience and illustrate your experiences.   You can reuse the same tales in different settings, and as you continue to network, you can gain inspiration to create more based on what others share so you can enhance your repertoire.

During Networking: Navigating Conversations with Finesse

1. Ask Thoughtful Questions.  It is refreshing to get asked questions that are not frequently asked.  Instead of doing what others do by asking typical inquiries such as, “What do you do,” you can encourage meaningful dialogue, “What’s your favorite part of your work?  “What’s been energizing you personally and professionally this month?  What’s the last thing you learned?"  What’s one way you hope to grow this year?”  You can lead the way by responding first to foster authentic exchanges.

2. Demonstrate Active Listening Skills.  Dale Carnegie says to be interested rather than interesting.  The sentiment concerns allowing others to talk, not just dominating the conversation.  When you listen to people, you are not cued up with the next thing to say; instead, you are picking up on something important and asking follow-up questions.  It is always helpful to listen to what they value or to the bigger picture and give them opportunities to talk more about that.

3. Find shared interests.  Find common ground to establish rapport and deepen connection.  They may mention that they just returned from traveling to a city and you had a fantastic experience there.  You can share a memorable restaurant and discover your love of food or the beauty of the city.  Small talk can lead to significant discoveries and lay the foundation for meaningful relationships.  For example, you learn it always snows where they live and ask how they take advantage of that weather.  They respond with their passion for skiing, which you happen to share, you will have much to explore on that topic.  Or that they live in a town with popular sports teams, and you can connect over that.

4. Offer Appropriate Vulnerability.  Share relatable anecdotes or experiences.  There is a phenomenon called the Beautiful Mess Effect, put forth by a team of psychologists writing in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, which states that contrary to our worst fears, having the courage to show our vulnerabilities is often rewarded and viewed more favorably by others.  When sharing a time that you screwed up in a low-risk way or something similar can breed trust and strengthen the relationship.

Post-Networking: Sustaining and Nurturing Connection

1. Send Follow-up Messages.  Reach out to those you connected with, expressing gratitude and suggesting future interactions.  For example, “It was great meeting you. I enjoyed what you said about X, and I’d love to connect again; you mentioned you would be at the X conference in 2 months; maybe we can grab lunch there?  If you do not have an event coming up, consider following up every few months.  Building networks, while important, never feels urgent, and when you consistently reach out, you lay the foundation to develop strong relationships long before you might need anything. 

2. Reach Out to Missed Connections.  Do not hesitate to contact individuals you intended to meet but did not have the chance to connect with.  Express your interest in engaging further and propose alternative meeting options.  For example, “I attended this event and was looking forward to chatting with you because of your work in this area; I’d still love a chance to connect via Zoom or set up a coffee chat.  Please let me know if a time window might work best for your schedule; I am happy to accommodate whatever might work for you.”

3. Maintain a Tracker.  Keep a record of your networking interactions, including dates, where you met them, topics discussed, and follow-up actions such as when you would like to connect next and over what topic.  If you are finding interesting articles that they may enjoy, you can send them to keep the connection alive, but be sure to personalize the message and be thoughtful about what you are sending.  I know you said you were traveling to Belgium next month. I came across this interesting article about this new exhibit that opened, and I thought you might enjoy it given your love of art.

Record your networking interactions, including dates, topics discussed, and follow-up actions.  Regularly update and review your tracker to stay on top of your networking efforts.

By implementing these strategies, you can navigate networking with confidence and purpose, unlocking numerous opportunities along the way.  Networking is not just about making connections—it's about cultivating meaningful relationships that can enrich your personal and professional life.

Quote of the day: “Your network is your net worth.” -Peter Gale

Question:  What’s your best networking strategy?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The final blog in this series 4/4 will focus on effective networking questions and frameworks.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities. Contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you network effectively?

Navigating Networks: Exploring the Pathways to Professional Success (networking series 2/4)

Building on the previous article focused on the challenges and benefits of networking, this article delves into the diverse types of networks available to assist you in achieving your goals.

Let’s explore three types:

1. Internal Network.  In your workplace, if you are a part of a small team at a medium to large company, you may only spend time with your manager, direct reports, and peers you collaborate with.   Engaging with people in different parts of the company is helpful to broaden your understanding of the business and uncover potential collaborative opportunities.  These relationships usually do not happen organically, they must be intentionally cultivated.  When you go to a company event, do not just gravitate to the people you already know, set a goal to get to know a few people you have never spoken to and start building those relationship.

2. External Network.  These avenues offer opportunities to connect beyond the confines of your workplace.  Executives are likelier to build connections through conferences, events, and cross-industry professional networking groups.  Managers and directors are more likely to develop their networks through past and current colleagues.  Let’s take a look at a few:

2A. Industry Conferences.  These are places to connect with people in your same industry.  For example, you may attend SHRM (Society of Human Resource Management), one of the world’s largest conferences for HR professionals to learn about industry trends.

2B.  Role/Function Conferences.  These events attract people in your same position.  For example, you may attend ProductCon, the world’s largest conference that takes place 4x a year and gathers people from around the world in this Product Manager or adjacent roles to explore the hottest topics in the space.

2C. Mixed Conferences or Professional Organizations. These conferences usually have a blend of people from different roles and industries. For example, Chief is one of the largest professional female Organizations that brings together C-Level and Vice President leaders in various companies in various roles to empower great leaders. As an Executive Coach and Group Facilitator at this organization, many women have expressed to me how incredibly valuable it has been personally and professionally to tackle similar challenges.

2D. Skill-Based Networking.   You can take classes, certifications, or workshops to strengthen your abilities.  That is usually a great place to meet people because you already have similar interests and can create a relationship as a learning partner.

3. Social Networking.  In addition to professional settings, social gatherings, and community activities also serve as networking opportunities.  Join local meetups, volunteer organizations, and Facebook groups, or engage in neighborhood activities to connect with individuals with common interests.  These interactions, while primarily personal, can offer unexpected professional benefits. 

4. Existing Personal Network.  Reconnect with individuals from your past, including former classmates, coworkers, and neighbors.  These "weak ties" can prove invaluable in connecting you with new opportunities and resources.  Don't underestimate the power of rekindling old connections.

By understanding the diverse landscapes of networking, you can strategically navigate the process and leverage each network's unique benefits.

Quote of the day: "Succeeding in business is all about making the right connections." - Richard Branson

Question:  Which unexpected place did you have success with networking?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series, 3/4, will focus on how to network effectively.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities. Contact me to explore this topic further.

Where do you prefer to network?

Mastering Networking: Overcoming Challenges, Embracing Benefits (networking series 1/4)

Networking is a vital facet of one's professional journey.  It stands as a crucial bridge between opportunities, connections, and growth.   Despite its undeniable importance, networking remains a daunting and even disliked endeavor for many.  This paradox highlights the need for a deeper understanding of networking's nuances, strategies, and the potential it holds for personal and professional development.

What Networking Is Not

Some people have an aversion to networking because it conjures up slick, self-interested, manipulative tactics to get things you may not deserve.  It is not just about pitching, selling, delivering long speeches, and aiming to close business on the spot.  It is not a hyper-focus on you and what you are trying to do.  It is not about hassling people or using them to get something you want done.  It’s undoubtedly not transactional. These are all descriptions of when networking is done wrong. 

Defining What Networking Is

Genuine networking is the act of building and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships.  When done well, the goal is to advance your career or business and to provide help for others for collective benefit.  London Business School Professor Herminia Ibarra says networking or creating a fabric of personal contacts to provide support, feedback, insight, and resources is essential for every manager.  Many people think they must network when ready to job hunt, but it is about the long game – building authentic connections that can bear fruit down the line.  It’s a chance to have flourishing relationships and tap into insights and resources from a trusted group. 

Challenges in Networking

Herminia Ibarra Highlights Challenges that Executives Face:

1. Reluctance to Ask for Help.  As an accomplished, high achiever, it can feel hard to ask for assistance.  You may have gotten good at self-reliance and think you can rely on your strength to pull you through the way you have done your whole life.  While people underestimate other’s willingness to help, multiple studies confirm that most of us like to assist.  We are social creatures, and it’s one of those things that make us feel good.  When you practice the activity, especially in low-risk situations, and start to see some results, your comfort with asking for help will grow. 

2. Prioritizing Secrecy.  Some people want to reach out to others but do not want them to know they are job searching or unhappy in their current position.  They are also worried that the word will get out, which could jeopardize their current position, especially with industries or roles with smaller circles or in communities where everybody knows one another.  One of my clients was looking to switch positions, which would involve a move, and she was waiting to talk to her children because she worried that they would tell their best friends who have parents who work at the same place and are connected to other community members, which would get back to her boss.

In situations where people have been laid off, some feel embarrassed to share, however there are ways you can take command of the narrative.  If you were a part of a more massive layoff or your role got eliminated, these things happen, especially the higher up you go as the company goes in a different direction.  If you feel like there are too many systemic issues preventing your success, you can share what you are moving toward rather than what you are moving away from.  If you do not share with others, you lose the potential of connecting with somebody who can help you.  Finding a new position can take a long time, so instead of guarding your intentions too closely and stressing about the process, you can suspend your pride and put yourself in a position to forge a valuable connection. 

3. Unrealistic Expectations.  When we get to higher executive levels of our career, it can take as little as three months and as long as 18 months to find the right fit.  You may have amassed an incredible resume and would be an asset to any company, but there may not be an available role.  Networking can take a long time to learn about potential future roles.  You may meet one person who might share an opening for a VP role four months from now when this leader is planning on retiring and their successor recently left to take a position elsewhere, so there is no leading internal candidate.  If we are changing industries or careers, it will take a while to strengthen our skillsets and figure out what we might want to do and that will entail a lot of conversations that will provide helpful clues as you travel on your path of what you could want next.  Patience is key, as connections can lead to opportunities when you least expect them.

4. Not Wanting to Put in the Work.  It takes time to have a lot of conversations with people and be intentional about attending events.  The dedication required is often on top of a full-time job so you can imagine it being a draining experience.  What compounds the problem is that most people have not invested in their network, so they can feel like they are starting from zero.  They could think 2-3 connection points are needed before they ask about something they want, and with busy executives, those meetings can take many months to set up.  If you have already laid the foundation to build a strong network and are clear on your goals, that process can be shortened.

Herminia Ibarra recommends listing up to 100 contacts, former employers, clients, and customers and writing down the names of the people you met in those roles.  There will be some people on that list who will be information givers who can tell you about the market, companies, and hiring trends and some who will be door openers who will vouch for you and introduce you to decision makers because you have worked with them in the past or have a strong connection.  By being organized with how you keep track of your connections, the work you are putting in can bear greater fruit.

5. Overly Focusing on the Narrative.  Many people spend a lot of time talking about themselves without getting to the heart of forming a mutually beneficial relationship.  They do not have a clear ask or they do not learn what the other person is interested in to find those win-win opportunities.  Spending too much time talking about why you are unhappy or the past rather than talking about what excites you and what you are moving toward.  The best practice is to be direct, concise, positive, and future-oriented.

6. Failing to tailor your story.  People spend so much time perfecting their elevator speech and using the same one on multiple audiences rather than customizing it.  A talk track can be divided into parts, and while some pieces can remain the same, especially in terms of what you are passionate about or the problems you are eager to solve, you want to customize other sections depending on your audience that will resonate the most.

Benefits of Networking

1. Building Good Relationships.  You create trust and strengthen connections by offering assistance and valuable resources while expecting nothing in return.  Cultivating those genuine interactions, expanding common interests, and feeling like you have a support team that you can go to for career and life advice will add significantly to your happiness.  Psychotherapist Esther Perel said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”                      

2. Advancing your career.  When it comes to career advancement, most people realize that sometimes it’s not always what you know, but who you know.”  One study found that more than 70% of Fortune 1000 CEOs, mostly white men said they have done business with someone they met on the golf course. Additionally, 80% of Fortune 500 executives said golf has helped their careers.  Another study shows that over 80% of women at and above management level said they have used networking relationships to join a board, break into the C-Suite, or accept a new job with better pay.  People do not hire resumes,  they recruit people they like, who are interesting, and interested in what you are saying because of their curiosity. 

Networking is a multifaceted endeavor with the potential to shape careers and lives positively.  By dispelling misconceptions, navigating challenges, and leveraging the benefits, individuals can harness the true power of networking. 

Quote of the day:  "The richest people in the world look for and build networks; everyone else looks for work." - Robert Kiyosaki

Question:   What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to networking?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 2/4 will focus on types of networks and where to network.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities, contact me to explore this topic further.

What’s your experience with networking?

Strategies for Reclaiming Recognition after a Credit Robbery (Taking Credit series 2/2)

In our previous article, we discussed the various scenarios where credit theft can rear its frustrating head. This article will empower you with practical strategies and helpful scripts for navigating and reclaiming credit in the workplace.

Strategies for Reclaiming Credit:

1. Correct the Record in Real Time. If somebody appropriates your idea in a meeting, take immediate action and assert your ownership.  Politely interject by saying, “"I'm glad you agree with the idea I shared earlier; I'd be happy to provide more insights into its development." Alternatively, you can thank the person for echoing your idea and elaborate on your thought process, “Thank you for pointing out my idea in a different way, here is what I was thinking when I came up with the idea…”  The goal is to regain control of the narratives and ensure people recognize you as the idea’s owner.  

1A. When your Colleagues Omitted your Credit.  Graciously acknowledge your coworker and highlight your own involvement: "Glad you liked the presentation. Sandra and I worked closely on this project, and she led the way on this aspect."

1B. When your Meeting has been Hijacked. When somebody takes over your meeting because they are leading a part of the workstream, while you are the overall owner, you can reclaim control by clarifying your role.  If the whole room starts following your peer Bob who has a minor role and he is becoming the point person for answering questions, you can say, “Let me jump in and answer this question.  When I started this project, here is the intention and the initial problem statement my team and I put together. I brought on additional stakeholders, including Bob who is running point on this channel but for questions on any of the other channels, I’d be happy to answer them.” Or you can say, “let’s take a moment to zoom out and think about the overall purpose of this project. Here is how I designed it…. and for questions relating to how all the pieces fit together, I’d love to address them before we drill down on one of the channels that you might have specific questions about.”

2. Encourage Peers to Set the Record Straight and Redirect Credit.  Peer intervention can be helpful.  They can clarify the situation by saying, "Just to clarify, Sue brought up this excellent idea ten minutes ago, and I thought it was fantastic.  Sue, could you provide more details about your proposal?"  In a December 2023 Republican debate, Vivek Ramasamy attacked Nikki Haley’s character by saying, “She has no idea what the names of those global provinces are but wants to send our people to go fight in those locations.” Chris Christie swiftly intervened and said, “he has insulted Niki Haley’s basic intelligence (she doesn’t know regions, she wouldn’t be able to find something on a map that his 3-year-old can find), and not her positions.  If you want to disagree on issues, that’s fine, and Nikki and I disagree, but I have known her for 12 years.  She is a smart, accomplished woman, and you should stop insulting her.”  Standing up for others can have a significant impact.

2A. Encourage your Boss to Correct the Record.  If somebody gave credit to somebody else and your boss jumps in to say, “I’m glad you appreciated the idea, but Jenna was the one who came up with it.  I’ll pass the floor to her for more insights.”  It makes a difference.  Be sure to thank them after the meeting or send an email letting them know how much it meant to you to support you in front of everybody.  You can also let them know you are proud to have a leader like them in the company because you make them even more aware of the behaviors they should continue.

2B. Use Amplification to Gain Allies.  This powerful strategy was employed at the Obama White House to ensure recognition of female staffers’ ideas.  When President Obama first took office, 2/3 of his senior staffers were men, and they noticed sometimes women would share their ideas, they would get overlooked, and then moments later, somebody else would share that same idea, and it would get acknowledged by others. To combat this, when female staffers made a noteworthy point, other women would echo their points.  This forced others to recognize their contribution and denied them the chance to claim the input as their own.  For example, if one woman shared an idea and it got lost, another woman would jump in and say, “I want to return us to Jill’s excellent point, here is what she said that was so valuable.”  As a result, President Obama started calling more on women and junior aides to voice their options and women gained more parity with men. 

This strategy has so many benefits.  Amplifiers usually go to the highest rungs of leadership because they are seen as competent and generous, and people want to be in the community with those individuals. We convey a kind of confident and generous leadership that attracts great people to our team.  We also increase our colleague’s sense of value, belonging, and connection to the company and its mission.  We increase positive perceptions of us by linking us in people’s minds to other successful people. We deepen our relationships with clients and create more opportunities to serve them. Adam Gran,t in his book Givers and Takes, talks about those who give away at every opportunity are the oneswhot rise.  You can even amplify people’s voices outside the company.  Invite experienced colleagues to join you on panels or feature your work in their series. 

2C. Believe in & Practice the Shine Theory.  This is where elevating others ultimately benefits you.   When you have privilege and power, you have a greater audience and are better positioned to help others by shining a light on their work.  Deloitte does a great job with this, they have their Conversation with Leaders Series where they showcase senior women on the front lines of the financial service industry through talks, articles, and podcasts. You can also connect colleagues with expertise to other people and opportunities to elevate their credibility. For example, “You mentioned driving innovation in this market, I was just talking to my colleague Beth who is the absolute authority on this topic, I’d love to connect you two.”

If you are in a meeting and there are lots of ideas, all swirl, but nobody is taking a stand, you can move the conversation along and give credit to others by saying, “Hearing everybody’s thoughts has been clarifying for me, here is what I think we should do to move forward.” You can even mention the few parts that stood out and shaped your thinking. These actions show humility, grace, and inclusion in your operations.

3. Set the Record Straight with Colleagues.   If you notice that you are in your boss’ shadows and they are taking credit for your work, you can shed light on your significant contributions to your peers.   Explain your thought process, involvement, and the efforts you and your team invested to drive that body of work.  For example, “When I came up with that idea, I was thinking of this challenge, so my team and I spent months developing an initial prototype before we started recruiting partners.  I am happy to share more about this technique and the broader finders with the team.”  Alternatively, “I was having a great conversation with the CTO when the idea came to me to try this approach.  My team immediately offered support, and here is how we went about it…”. You will be sending a clarifying message that you and your team are the owners of the idea.

3A. Correct the record with Peers in Writing.  If somebody posts on a Slack channel (e.g., your peer Beth) and assumes the credit for your work, you can jump in and gently correct any misattribution by saying, “I’m delighted to see my concept gain traction, we formed the perfect team utilizing Beth’s data expertise to achieve these results.”  Alternatively, “when I initially proposed the idea, it was because Beth inspired me, she immediately saw value in the concept and has been a great collaborator on this project.”  Or, “Thank you Beth for taking a leap on the idea when I pitched it and making it even greater; I could not have done this without your help.”

4. Correct Record with your Boss.  If you worked with John and he told your boss he did all the work, you can say, “I’m so happy you liked the idea, John and I spent hours brainstorming before we landed on the winning idea.” 

If your internal partners try to inaccurately include you in some work when you are not part of the job, you can also share that.  I had a client who was never consulted by her cross-functional partners when they put together a report to give to leadership team that provided key information on her team’s work.  Her peers misrepresented the situation to leadership and acted like they consulted her to give the report more credibility.  When she learned of what happened, she was frustrated because she had made several attempts to collaborate with those stakeholders and was blown off.  She went to her boss and shared, “I wanted you to know there is inaccurate information in that report because my team was never consulted, and I do not want that piece of work to represent my department. I tried to schedule a meeting multiple times with them, but they could never find time.”

5. Have Direct Conversations with Credit Usurpers. Engage in open conversation when you observe someone wrongly attributing your work.  Share your observations and ask for their perspective.  Seek clarity and agreement on how you both can present your contributions more accurately in the future. 

If your boss has taken your idea, you can share that one of your goals is to get visibility with senior leadership, so when you find out that your name was not attributed to the strategy, you are just curious to learn why.  Then, you can say, “Next time there is an opportunity, I’d love to present this body of work to raise my visibility; how does that sound to you?”  Or, “I’d love to own the part of the presentation based on the work I did; Would that be okay?” Get their commitment to you leading the work next time.  You cannot sit around to get opportunities; you have to proactively carve them out for yourself. 

Leadership Expert Liz Wiseman shares a story of when she was putting together a leadership program for new managers and part of that included a binder of materials.  When she was at a meeting with the team, her boss started going through the binder and talking about some of the materials, to Liz’s dismay.  So, she had a direct conversation with him.  She began with questions, “Whose idea was the binder?  Who did the work for it?  Who should be the one to present the binder?”  She shared that it may not have been his intention but when he shared the binder, it made it sound like he did all the work.  She knew she had to speak up because she did not want to establish a precedent that she would do the work and somebody else would take the credit. The boss responded, did not even realize what he had done, and was grateful for her to point it out.  Sometimes, these things will happen, and if it is an accident, after a conversation, there is a greater chance that the person will not do it again.

In other situations, credit theft is done intentionally.  I had a client whose boss once said, “I’m responsible for this team, so I will present the work.”  When that happens, you can say, “I understand that, and it is important to me that the work I do to advance our team is acknowledged.”  Or, “I know you are responsible for the overall project, and would love to present my piece which I dedicated countless hours to, would that be ok?”  

6. Address Mislabeling by Your Boss.  When another client of mine spoke up to get credit for her work, her boss responded, “you are too sensitive; don’t be territorial and not a team player.”  Just because the boss may have anchored a false perception, does not mean you have to take it at face value.  One approach with your boss is to get curious and inquire about their viewpoints and definitions of team players.  Say, “I’m curious, what do you view as a team player? “ Then you can share your approach to teamwork. “I view good teammates as not taking credit for other people’s work but giving credit where it is due.  It is a joy when I highlight others’ work, I love to give credit, here is how I recognized somebody on my team recently….”  Or, “When it comes to my take on teamwork, I take a lot of pride in my work and love to share it, the way I want my team members to share their work and not take credit.”  There is a space for recognizing both the individual and the team.

7. Highlight Unwanted Behavior.  In the example from the previous article, when the colleague introduced my client poorly to the CEO, you can directly talk with the person to clarify your role and importance.  Here are some scripts:

·       “I noticed when you introduced me to the CEO, you said this and neglected all these other things.  I wanted to take a moment to understand how you introduced me in a way that did not capture my bigger and more important role.”

·       "I appreciate the introduction, but I have a more significant role in this project than mentioned. Let me provide a broader perspective so my bio can be more accurately shared next time."

·       You can use the intent and impact framework – “It may not have been your intention to dimmish my role in your introduction, but I was left feeling confused to be described in a way that does not represent my full scope.  I’d love to learn more about that.” 

·       Be sure to share your expectations going forward.  “Let me take a moment to explain my role and provide context in what I bring to the table so you can accurately present my bio.” 

·       “Going forward, please introduce me this way or say this line and turn it over to me, and I’d be happy to share my bio that matches the work I’m doing around here.  Do you have any questions about that?” 

·       “You may not realize this, but I wanted to share with you my role so you can introduce me to people in her office going forward to capture the scope of work best adequately.”  

8. Limit Information Sharing Until Trust is Established.  As entrepreneurs, share information strategically.  Communicate at a high level with few details initially, reserving your unique story and messaging for when trust is firmly established.  While their message may try to be like yours, your authentic passion will be greatly felt more than somebody else’s superficial borrowing.  You can even talk to the person and let them know you were disappointed to see the information they presented without your consent.

These strategies help you navigate situations where your credit is misappropriated, ensuring your contributions are rightfully acknowledged.

Quote of the day: "Individual commitment to a group effort—that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work." - Vince Lombardi

Question:  Which strategies have you found most effective in confronting others?  Comment and share below; we’d love to hear.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to communicate effectively including strategically self-promoting; contact me to explore this topic further. 

What do you do when somebody takes credit?