Common Pitfalls To Avoid When Managing Up (Manage Up Series 6/6 )

The last article explored the type of leader you want to be while you are managing up.  This article will cover some approaches you might be tempted to take but are more helpful to avoid.

Let’s explore what not to do:

1. Don’t bad mouth your boss.  While your frustrations may be valid, you will lose credibility when you complain to others.   Plus, by talking poorly about your boss to your Direct Reports, you normalize that negative dynamic on your team and that gossip contributes to a toxic culture.  Be a proactive leader who aims to improve the situation and not just a complainer who passes responsibility onto others.

2. Don’t criticize publicly.  Do not aim to embarrass your boss in front of others.  Disagree with your boss privately and in a calm voice.  Your job is to make your boss look good and build credibility for them that will ultimately enhance your department, not to score points at their expense.

3. Do not cast blame.  Upper management is just as human as you and can make bad decisions.  Instead of blaming and focusing on the past, address the issue and be intentional about what you want to be different in the future to avoid this from happening again.

4. Do not share when angry.  When you operate from this place of anger and resentment, your reptile brain takes over and clouds your judgment from making smart and strategic choices.  Take a reset and aim to take time to see different perspectives and replace the anger with empathy.  Stephen Covey would urge, “seek first to understand then be understood.” Put yourself in your boss’ shoes.  What are their biggest challenges, and how would they like to be treated?  This perspective will enable you to make stronger decisions for the best win-win outcomes.

5. Do not assume your boss knows all the details.  You may know the ins and outs of your team and your work, but if your boss is overseeing a few teams and is in charge of 100+ people, it could be hard to have all the specifics at their fingertips.  Instead, if you could get good at communicating at the conceptual level and build stories around crucial points, your message will resonate more strongly.   

6. Do not take it personally.  Just because your boss has not adopted your solutions does not mean they dislike you.  The same movies can get glowing reviews by the New York Times and slammed by the LA Times due to their subjective nature.  If your boss denies your request to handle the budget even though you have overseen much bigger budgets previously, you may think it is a personal attack.  When you take a step back, do you notice that they operate like that with other people, not just you?   Zoom out to see the bigger picture before rushing to conclusions.

When all else fails, decide to make peace

If you feel like you have tried everything, that your manager is aware and not making any changes or getting better, that can be a stifling experience.  Many organizations still promote people because of their technical success rather than people management skills.  To compound the problem, many new managers receive little or no training before jumping into their new roles.  The main reason why people leave companies is because of their manager.  One sign that it might be time to make peace with the situation and exit is if your manager is harming your health.  A study by the American Psychological Association found that 75% of Americans say their “boss is the most stressful part of their workday.”  If you are experiencing mental unrest by losing sleep, having chronic stress, or spending more time thinking about your boss, it’s time to go.  If you are struggling emotionally and seeing your self-esteem plummet and determine it is a toxic environment, that’s an unmistakable sign that it’s time to move on to the next role or job.

Give yourself the permission to make a career change and fight your fear of quitting.  Some people might not have the option to have a gap in their work, but there is no need to suffer indefinitely.  You usually have more options than you initially realize, you can have informational interviews with your peers and aim to transfer internally to a better team, or line up a role outside the company.  When you make a change, be sure to capture the learnings and what you would do differently next time, so you do not recreate the circumstances you were escaping.  If nothing else, by managing up, you will learn what type of manager you want to be and what kind you want to avoid.

Getting good at managing up takes time.  While it can be tempting to react by blaming and criticizing to get short-term wins, it is more helpful to take a step back and play the long game by focusing on who you want to be as a leader regardless of the circumstances. 

Quote of the day: “We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why.” -Stephen King

Q:  What is one approach to managing up that you have taken that was an utter failure?  What would you do differently next time?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

 

How not to manage up

Your Leadership Style of Managing Up Matters (Manage Up Series 5/6)

Many things may be out of your control when managing up, but what is in your purview is the type of leader you want to be while aiming to make positive changes. In the book, Influence Without Authority, Dan Olsen talks about when communicating up, success depends on 60% substance and 40% style, so controlling your content and delivery will go a long way to achieving your outcome.

Here are some aspects to think about to manage up successfully:

1. Focus on what you can influence, and accept what you can’t.  It can be helpful to accept that sometimes we cannot change senior leadership, we can only change our behavior and be the leaders we wish we had.  Embrace the practices that you espouse.  For example, if you feel like your manager’s team purpose is non-existent and already pointed out that observation, you can offer your interpretation of the team’s purpose and operate on that view until otherwise told. 

2. Acknowledge their authority.  Ultimately, the person in power will probably make the final decision, so recognize that. You might say, “I know you’ll make the call here, would you be open to hearing some of my thoughts?”  This approach can show respect and offer a reminder of the choices available.  

3. Avoid judgments, share facts. When you express concerns, stay away from judgmental words such as “short-sighted” or “hasty” that might set off your manager and has the potential to be taken personally.  Sharing facts and examples will help you make your case much better.  For example, instead of saying, “I think that first-quarter deadline is naïve,” you can say, “We’ve tried four projects like this in the past, and we were able to do two in a similar time, but those were special circumstances.  What has changed or needs to change to deliver this work in the same time period?” You can call attention to the reality of the situation and be future-focused in thinking through how we can make this happen.

 4. Share disagreements humbly.  Even though your opinion might be well-informed and well-researched, it is still an opinion so talk tentatively where you leave room for the other person to weigh in.  Instead of saying “If we set an end-of-quarter deadline, we’ll never make it,” you might offer, “In my opinion, based on where we are now, I do not see how we will make that deadline.” You can also use phrases like, “I’m thinking aloud here.” This will leave room for dialogue, and it shows your curiosity about other perspectives.   You can even ask for permission to share your disagreements.  “I know we seem to be moving toward a first-quarter commitment here, I have reasons to think that it will not work. I’d like to lay out my reasoning.  Would that be OK?”  This gives the person choices and allows them to opt out.  You can further invite them to respond by asking them, “what might be missing from this assessment?”

5. Approach with inquiry.  If your manager has made a decision that has impacted your work, you can lead with open-ended questions such as, “I would love to understand the rationale for this decision, can you tell me what went into this?  Assumptions are counterproductive, share your thinking and genuinely seek to understand their perspective and what they are trying to get done.  It is helpful to assume positive intent because you only see one piece of the picture, meanwhile they have a more expansive view based on their leadership team meetings and discussions on what is coming down the pike.  They could also have stressors that you do not see or fully understand based on where you sit in the company.  

6. Pick your battles.  If it comes to stylistic differences, give your boss what they want.  If they prefer PowerPoint, but you prefer google slides, instead of spending energy arguing on small things, defer to their preferences.  Strive to win the big ones and not waste energy and psychological capital on the more minor points.

7. View your boss as your customer.  You may feel frustrated that you cannot get your job done because you are working on your boss’ items.  It is good to check in with yourself because your priority is your boss.’  How would your mindset be different if you saw your boss as your customer and you were working on satisfying their plans? 

8. Ask for their advice.  If you have determined that your boss has a “closed mind” about something, you can signal your openness by asking for their advice.  Adam Grant offers this example. “Let’s say you want your leader to take mental health seriously, you can use this phrasing, ‘I heard from many people that they are struggling with mental health, which can affect their well-being and I know you care about building a community here.  I want people to feel that they are cared about so I’m trying to think about how to do a better job supporting people, I’m not sure what to do next, but I know you are brilliant at getting things done and driving change.  Would you be willing to help with these cultural changes?’”  People like to feel included and genuine flattery can go a long way.  Plus, it is less threatening when you approach your comments not trying to make the person wrong and show that you have a superior way but are open to learning from the leader or co-creating something better together. You come across as an advocate and not an adversary.

Managing up involves both art and science to be successful.  You want to have the right content to share, as well as an effective delivery.  Using facts and inquiry, approaching disagreements humbly, and seeking true partnership can get you off to a great start.

Quote of the day: “One of the best ways to influence people is to make them feel important. Most people enjoy those rare moments when others make them feel important.  It is one of the deepest human desires.” -Roy T. Bennett.

Q:  What style do others use to manage up that you see as most effective?  Which is the least effective?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 6/6 will focus on pitfalls to avoid when managing up]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

What is your leadership style when managing up?

Common Scenarios Where Managing Up Is Needed (Manage Up Series 4/6 )

In the last article, we covered managing up to pitch a project.  This blog will focus on many other situations where managing up can come in handy.

Let’s jump into a few common scenarios and approaches for managing up:

1. If you receive additional work unaligned with the priorities.  If you have been given an assignment that you cannot see the value in or the connection to the bigger strategic vision, you can ask questions to get clarity.  How do you see this new idea fitting in with our current goals?  If we take on this new initiative, our capacity will be reduced, we may need to drop or delay another, in that case; which one would you be willing to deprioritize?  Depending on your boss’ style, if you think it is overloading to have them select from open-ended options, you can suggest one to deprioritize to make it easier.  If you prefer to delay, you can say, “Is this idea something we need to implement now, or could it be considered for the next quarter/year?  By laying out how pursuing a new idea will impact other priorities, you can help your boss assess what makes the most sense from a strategic perspective.

2. If you receive vague work.  You can take steps to elicit more thoughtful contributions by asking questions to prompt more critical thinking.  Tell me how you see that working?  What would you like the outcomes to be so we can get the best results possible?  What does success look like?  Are there examples of things you have seen that you like and want to include?  These prompts encourage the leader to expand on their ideas to add more definition to make your work easier.

3. If you disagree with your boss on a topic.  You can be forward-thinking and ask, how would you prefer me to handle this the next time this comes up?  If no answer is provided, you can offer your thought process of how you would handle it and invite your boss to comment on your plan so you can test to see that you are on the same wavelength and make the necessary adjustments. This way, you can create predictable and effective ways of working.

4. If your manager is acting as a bottleneck to your work.   If your work process is slowed because you are waiting on your boss’ approval for the next project, you can say, “I know hitting the deadline on this project is a priority for you, in order not to delay the release of this work, here are the two things I would need from you by this date.  Do you see any obstacles with that timeline?”  Let me know how I can make any adjustments to keep us on track with achieving this priority. 

5. If your manager is doing things that hurt their reputation.  You can say, “I don’t know if you’re intending to come off like this, but here’s how you’re being perceived, I have some thoughts on how I can help with that if you are interested.”  Most leaders want to hear this news especially if it is broached in a respectful and trusting manner.

6. If you suspect incompetence.  Try and diagnose the issue and figure out exactly how the incompetence shows up.  Do they lack experience?  Do they have poor emotional intelligence?  Is their decision-making shaky?  Do they not hold people accountable?  Is it incompetence or just a different approach?  If you can pinpoint and categorize the problem, you and your team can create targeted strategies to address the deficiency and better manage up. 

7. If your manager is micromanaging.  Learn to see if it is just happening with you or is common with other members.  Suppose it is prevalent and causing delays in getting the work done and negatively impacting the organization.  In that case, it is worth speaking up to make changes at a more systematic level rather than changing the style with just you.  You can share your understanding of the expectations and see if they are on the same page this way you can focus more on the outcomes rather than the activities and methods used to achieve those results.

8. If your role is ambiguous.  Be proactive.  Many Directs want their boss to define their job for them, but you are missing out on the opportunity to craft your job.  If you have the chance to create your scope and how it advances the mission and purpose, lay the first stake, and then ask what they would add.  You can say, “Here is what I think success looks like, what is your version, and what would you contribute”?  Here are the skillsets and capabilities I am honing for this job and my development plan, what else should I consider if my goal is to get to the Director level so I can set more of the creative strategic direction? Communicate what you need to be successful in terms of timely information, access, guidance, and resources.  You can use “If-Then Statements,” If I am going to do this, then I need these three things in place to be successful, how do you see this best working? 

9. If your one-on-ones are not useful.  Instead of merely providing status updates, include strategic issues. Suggest ideas on promoting your team for more visibility within your company or discuss process improvements.   Be sure you prepare an agenda to make the best use of your time together.  They will access your thoughtfulness and be more inclined to hear your suggestions.

10. If you feel like your manager is not giving you valuable feedback on your performance.  You can ask, what can I do or stop doing that would improve my performance?  What would make it easier for you to work with me?  Embrace the discomfort, after you ask that question, pause and do not be the next person to respond.  Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond.  You do not have to agree with the feedback, but it can be helpful to hear it.  Check for understanding by saying, “This is what I hear you saying, if I were to change x, y, and z, it would impact the team in a, b, or c ways?  What have I gotten right and what am I missing?” To ensure the alignment, you can even follow up with an email with the key takeaways and next steps.

11. If you are not getting feedback on a project.  If your boss always says, everything is great, go you.  You can say, can I get your advice on X, if you were driving my research, what would be top of mind for you?  Here is my goal for the next week or two to advance this project, I would love your guidance on whether I identified the right goals and how best to achieve them.  What obstacles should I be looking out for?  Annie McKee founder of Teleos Leadership Institute offers to say something like, “I want to do a good job and achieve my goals, and I need your help to do that.”  Be specific about what you want: their input on a particular piece of work, an introduction to another colleague, their permission to reach out to a client, etc.  If they cannot help, suggest an alternative and help them solve the problem, you can ask them if they can ask one of your peers for input or an introduction.  When you change your questions, you can more likely change the responses you are getting.

12. If you want your manager’s feedback on your overall development. You can share what you are doing to work on your growth goals, “What I am struggling with personally is how to make sure all people have a voice in the room and are heard, sometimes I get excited, and that enthusiasm makes it hard for others to get their voice in.  I want to run a flip meeting where I listen instead of sharing.  Do you think people would like that, or would it be a deer in headlights situation?  What suggestions do you have to ensure this is done well or that I succeed?”  You make it much easier for your leader to weigh in on areas that matter to you when you through out a statement or idea in which to react.

13. Take time to signal what works for you.  When you share with your leader what they do well or what works for you, you set them up to repeat that behavior.  For example, you might say, “I really liked when you made that email introduction, it made my work go so much faster, and I would welcome additional opportunities like that to advance future work.”  Formulating clarity in your requests will yield much better results.

Learning the skill of managing up in a variety of situations is critical to maintaining a great relationship with your boss and in the advancement of the goals of the organization. It is a muscle that we can all build with the right intention.

Quote of the day:  “Request, don't complain. Inside every complaint is a request. Find it and make it.” -Mary Abbajay, 

Q:  What is the hardest situation for you to manage up?  What makes it so hard? Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 5/6 will focus on your style of managing up]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

 

The Art of Managing Up

Approaches to managing up for a project (Manage Up Series 3/6 )

How often have you had a great idea that you wanted to pitch to your manager but pulled the plug because you believed it would get rejected?  Perhaps your idea could have brought massive benefits to the team and the organization, but you were convinced that your boss would miss the value.  Great managers provide forums for you to share and disagree.  But we do not always get to choose the people we work for.  When we can strengthen our skills of managing up, we can better lead for impact.

To increase your effectiveness in pitching a project, here are aspects to consider:

1. Bring a first draft plan and co-create.  When you are pitching a project idea, talk about the challenge being addressed, possible solutions, pros and cons of each, your recommendation, and how that solution ties into the bigger picture and the company goals and vision.  Co-create by asking your boss what they would add to your idea to improve its value.  If you are sensing they are opposed to it, you can ask – do you see any reasons why this may not work?  You can ask for their biggest objections they or another might have and if those were addressed, do they see any reason why the project should not go forward then?

2. Tackle the costs head on.  Having a handle on the costs will help you anticipate their possible rejections and prepare for them.  If you do not share them, they will likely be presented for you, instead, you can say, “here are the costs, and here is why I see them worth the benefit.”  Every organization has limited resources, time, and energy; accepting your idea may mean the rejection of another idea that someone else believes is wonderful so having that broader view will be important to making your case.

3. Share potential risks.  When you can brainstorm and analyze potential risks for new projects, categorize whether it is high or low, and share your analysis, you show your boss that you are thinking strategically, especially when you include recommended risk mitigation strategies and backup plans.  They will know that you put in considerable thought and will be more receptive to hearing your approach.   

4. Depict the positive impact beyond your team.  When presenting an idea, be sure to tie it to a positive impact.  Peter Drucker said, “ideas that make no positive impact are meaningless data.”  You are a small piece in the mosaic that your boss is weaving.  When influencing up, focus on the impact of the decision on the overall corporation.  In most cases, the needs of the department are clearly aligned with the company directly, and in other cases, this connection is not so obvious.  Be clear on making that link and do not assume it is automatically seen. Your best wins will relate to a larger goal and not just be about achieving your objectives because if your boss is helping just you, they may be disadvantaging another teammate and the resources they may need. 

5. Show success examples.  Point to examples used by other teams and how you mimic those efforts and processes for the best results.  You can even factor in the customizations you have made to better fit with the intricacies of your team.

6. Reduce workload.  The best recommendations take work off people’s plates.  If you happen to put work on, what can you do to minimize it?  Can you own the scheduling and logistics or volunteer to present the work at the meeting? How can you make it easy for your boss to say yes and show that it will not add extensive work?

There is an art to managing up.  When you can utilize critical thinking skills in presenting your idea, explaining pros and cons, and offering your recommendation, you make it easy for your manager to join you as a collaborative partner to endorse your project. 

Quote of the day: “Real control is influencing someone to the point that [they] believe [their] choices are [their] own.” – G.R. Morris

Q:  How do you pitch your projects for the greatest success?  What has worked and what hasn’t? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 4/6 will focus on numerous managing up scenarios and the best approaches to take]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further. 

What works for you in managing up?

The Pre-Work You Need to Manage Up (Manage Up Series 2/6)

Managing up is a required skill in every job.  Doing this well will allow you to advance your career and bring benefits to your team and the organization.   

Before jumping into best practices for managing up, it is helpful to think about the prework you want to complete so you are in the best position to succeed. 

Here are some critical aspects to uncover:

1. Know your leader’s communication style.  Executive Coach Julie Kantor says, “some bosses readily explain to subordinates how and when they want to communicate.  Others do better when offered multiple-choice questions.  If your boss has not willingly told you, seek agreements on methods and cadence for updates.  You can ask, how often do you want updates: daily, weekly, or only when I have something to report?  Do you prefer phone, instant messaging, email, or face-to-face?”  Getting this information clear will contribute to an excellent relationship, allowing for managing up to occur more easily.  Also, maybe your boss prizes unstructured chat time before diving into the work, whereas you prefer having work updates first and chat time at the end if there is time because it is how you operate with your direct reports.  It is better to adjust your style to fit your boss’ preference rather than impose your will.

1A. Understand their listener/reader style.  You can adjust your style in response to your boss’ preferred method of receiving information.  Peter Drucker, often described as the founder of modern management, divided bosses into “readers” and “listeners.”  If your boss is a reader, they like to get information in report form so they can read and study it.  In that case, you want to include important points in your memo and then discuss them.   Others are listeners, they work better with hearing information presented and being able to ask questions immediately in real time.  In this case, you may want to verbally share to have that back and forth and then follow up with notes of what has been discussed.  This contributes to creating fertile ground for managing up to occur.

1B. Understand their preference for updates.  Some bosses prefer to be involved in decisions and problems as they arise.  These are high-involvement managers who like to keep their hands on the pulse of the operation during critical moments, so it is best to be proactive in including them.  Other bosses prefer to delegate and be less involved.  They expect you to come to them with major problems and inform them about any significant changes.  When keeping these bosses in the loop, be clear on what you are doing and if there is anything you should be doing differently, let them know you welcome their input.  This critical information will allow you to move to the next stage and not waste weeks of work because you did not allow your boss an opportunity to weigh in earlier.  Managing up will be easier when these processes are established.

1C. Have the expectations discussion.  Many people assume the boss will magically know what information to give their subordinates.  Some are naturally good at this, and some are not.  Be proactive at the outset and ask.  What are your expectations from me?  What is a good way to exchange feedback?  Do not assume that just because you like to receive feedback in a particular way from your direct reports, it will be the same style as what your boss will want from you.  Be proactive in uncovering expectations that will set you up for managing up success. 

2. Understand their decision-making style.  Do they make decisions intuitively and change their mind a lot, or do they prefer a more fact-based approach and need lots of data and time to arrive at an action slowly, or any combination of the two?  When you are trying to influence, you can use their style to shape your approach.  Maybe they want to be in control, so you would give them information about what you are doing and offer choices about the next steps so they can make the ultimate decision.

3. Understand your manager's strengths, weaknesses, and motivations.  When you can go to them on a topic that utilizes one of their strengths, they can help more efficiently.  When you go to them in an area of weakness, you may be disappointed.  In that case, it can be a good opportunity for you to be proactive in taking more of a leadership role.  For example, maybe your boss is not strong at creating team bonding events, you can volunteer to take the lead on that.  Furthermore, knowing what they care about and advancing that interest can be helpful.  Dr. Julie Kantor, Executive Coach says, “It pays to figure out what motivates your boss, do they need to look important? Find ways to help them talk about their successes.”  If your boss’ boss cares about retention and building community, you can link the team bonding event to a larger and more critical initiative that would bode well for your leader.

4. Know your leader’s realities.  What numbers are your boss being measured on?  How is their boss defining success?  What are their goals and pressures?  How does your work fit into this bigger picture?  You can exhibit upward empathy and learn about what the specific work is like for your boss, what makes it hard, and what might you be unintentionally contributing to the difficulty level.  Without this information, you might be flying blind so your efforts to manage up would likely be fruitless.

5. Know the organization.  Some organizations are more hierarchical so it can feel threatening to have direct reports speak up.  Find out the informal rules so you can be more clued in on how to operate within the existing structures before you aim to make changes.

This kind of preparation can be used to develop and manage a healthy working relationship - one that is compatible with both work styles and strengths so you can do great work together.

Quote of the day: “Think twice before you speak because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.”  -Napoleon Hill

Q:  What is one way to learn your boss’ key stated and unstated priorities?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

[The next blog in this series 3/6 will focus on managing up for project work]

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

What do you know about your leader’s style?

We All Need to Manage Up (Manage Up Series 1/6)

It is quite common to have a different perspective from our managers and want to find effective ways to speak up to alter outcomes.  Toeing the line between skillfully influencing regardless of your position and not overstepping in a way that disrespects your leader and damages your reputation can be tricky. When we can hone the skill of managing up, we can make a positive difference in our teams and in our organizations.

Harvard Business School Professor John Kotter defines managing up as the process of consciously working with your superior to obtain the best possible results for you, your boss, and the company.  It is a way of customizing your work style to best suit your managers for optimum collective success.  It can also refer to your tactics to build a strong relationship with your boss to make work easier.  Sue Shellenbarger in the Wall Street Journal writes, "Managing up, or building smooth, productive relationships with higher-ups, requires understanding and adapting to your boss’s communication and decision-making style.”  Clearly, the approach you take to manage up matters.

Mastering this skill has copious benefits.  You can effectively shape the agenda by better advocating for what you want, asking for resources, and promoting your team’s successes.  The organization benefits as well.  When you have a strong relationship with your manager and know a good method to be heard, you can achieve more win-wins.  Instead of contributing to a culture of silence where people do not voice their views, you can create a conduit for great ideas to see the light of day.  Organizations want people who can vigorously campaign on behalf of their team with excellent intentions to impact productivity, morale, and retention positively.

Choosing when to speak up is not always easy and straightforward.  Here are some situations that could be helpful to chime in:

1. When it is at the cost of the company’s mission and integrity.  If something is happening that is damaging the company’s reputation internally or externally, it can be essential to get involved.  If you know that corners are being cut and there is a negative impact on customers or other stakeholders, your manager will want to know this.

2. When your motives are genuine.  If you have already checked in with yourself and ruled out jealousy or other less envious motives, and it is really about the benefit to the team, organization, or stakeholders, it is a good time to manage up to share constructive concerns collaboratively.

3. When you have established trust and credibility.  When you have shown yourself to be a dependable person that delivers consistent, timely, and excellent quality work, you will be in a good position to manage up.  If you are not a model of what you seek, your message will be harder to convey and be heard. This reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s rule 6: set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.  While I disagree with the word perfect, the underlining sentiment of being an example of what you are trying to change is powerful.   Nobody wants to listen to somebody who cannot do the thing they are advocating.

4. When there are massive communication gaps.  You may have assumptions that your boss has a view of you that is inaccurate.  You may want to check in, clear the air, and frame the perception that more precisely depicts who you are instead of them filling in the gaps so you can speak up and align on a shared reality. I had a client who was working on a massive project, culminating in a pivotal stakeholder meeting where a decision had to be made. When the boss viewed the invite list, she said the list looked random and did not understand why some attendees were present.  My client wanted to take a moment to zoom out and inform her leader of the broader picture, that she had been talking to all those stakeholders regularly and had an excellent explanation for each person’s attendance.  Having that conversation to loop her boss in was essential because while they may have initially thought my client was careless in their selection, they were, in fact, deliberate. 

5. When it is for the leader’s benefit.  Business management expert Patrick Lencioni advocates managing up to benefit the leader.  He said, “do not expect that the manager is leading exactly the way they want.”  He shared a story of when a direct report came to him as a great example of managing up.  Lencioni promoted somebody who was not team-oriented, which violated one of the company values.  So, the direct report went to Lencioni and said, I know you have a lot on your plate, but I noticed an inconsistency that I wanted to share and learn more about the reasoning behind the decision. You talk about teamwork being important but just promoted the least teamwork-focused person, so I think to address the disconnection, we either should change what we believe or move him to another place where he would be a better fit.  Lencioni shared that he was happy to have that blind spot bought to his attention and believed that if you only hear about frustrations when your team hands you a resignation letter, it is unfair because it does not give the leader a chance to course correct.  

Another client of mine had a similar situation speaking up regarding their boss’ blind spot.  The boss would think out loud at meetings and share fleeting comments to the team about possibly doing more research.  Some team members would interpret those passing thoughts as requests, and a couple of people would work on the same project and waste time and resources.  Others would view those thoughts as just verballing processing and would not do anything and the boss would wonder why no action was taken.  So, my client shared this observation with their boss, “I noticed this phenomenon happening where your verbal brainstorming is creating confusion and might be wasting time, I’m wondering what if, at the end of a meeting, we share one thing to investigate and one person to do that so there is clarity and no overlap?  How would that work for you, or what would you add to reduce the confusion?”  Before sharing your idea, you can even invite your boss to share possible solutions before you offer yours.  This is a great topic to manage up because you are proposing a process change to improve the business and inviting a co-creating experience.

When NOT to manage up:

1. Personality difference with no business benefit.  If you simply do not like your manager’s style and changing it would make your life easier but have no positive impact on the business or other team members, then it is misusing the spirit of managing up.  For example, if you want your manager to be more optimistic and less realistic because that is your preference, you may be unable to change that.  It is good to ask yourself, how is my request impacting the business other than it’s annoying me?  If their approach is leading to hours wasted, unnecessary confusion, and a lack of direction for you and the team, that’s different.  Tapping into the bigger reason we are here and how we can align to make the business successful is a good guide to managing up.

2. You think you can be leading better.  You may believe you can do the job better than your manager, many of us feel that way from time to time and that can be ok, but when you take action to undermine your boss or try to win or be right at your boss’s expense, that is crossing the line.  To be successful at your job, it is helpful to support your leader publicly and make them look good rather than asserting your will.  And if you believe you can do a better job, great, do your best to get promoted based on the quality of your work and your integrity and when you get that promotion, you will get a chance to lead in the way you want, and your direct reports will follow you based on your style and the benefits that you deliver.

When you can learn the skill of managing up, it will make you a more effective contributor.  The best indicator of managing up is when there is a triple win – you win, your manager/team wins, and the company wins. 

Quote of the day: “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” – Albert Schweitzer. 

Q:  When was the last time you had to manage up?  What worked that you would want to repeat?  Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 2/6 will focus on helpful prework to do to manage up.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to sharpen their managing up skills, contact me to explore this topic further.

How do you manage up?

How Do You Deal With A Difficult Boss? (Workplace Conflict Series 2/3)

Steve Jobs has had a complicated legacy.  While few would doubt his visionary abilities, many would call into question his leadership style and weak interpersonal skills.  He has been described as deceitful and cruel, even by his friends.  It is known that he cheated his co-founder out of a big bonus and lied about it. While Walter Isaacson was conducting research when writing the biography of Jobs, Apple Engineer Johnny Ives told Isaacson that when Jobs got frustrated, his way to achieve catharsis was to hurt someone.  According to Ives, Jobs felt he had the liberty and license to do it.

Like Jobs, there are hundreds of other leaders who treat their employees poorly.  Research shows that leaders who demean their workers have rationalized their aggression because, at times, they can get short-term results so they feel vindicated in their unsavory behavior to achieve their goals. This problem is compounded when the long-term damage they are causing to others is invisible to them.  Bad bosses may also see the situation in black and white terms, thinking – “I have to use this behavior or I will not get these outcomes.” But there is a big difference between being demanding (having high expectations for others) and demeaning (devaluing other people, even treating them disrespectfully and making them feel worthless).  This tradeoff does not need to exist because it is possible to show respect and set a high bar.  Kim Scott’s Radical Candor uses this exact leadership approach – caring for somebody personally and challenging them professionally.

The impact of toxic bosses can be quite detrimental.  Here are some company consequences: 

1. Negatively affects performance and reduces worker productivity. The presence of a bad boss can cause team members to make mistakes and doubt themselves. In one experiment with a medical team in Israel, a doctor berated his team and said he was not impressed with their medical care and that they would not last in the department for more than a week.  In the ensuing days, the percentage of an accurate diagnosis by the team went down by 20% and the procedures they did were 15% less effective.  When we work with somebody who has abused us mentally, our cognitive abilities decline.  Essentially, working with an angry boss makes us dumber.  In another experiment, students were instructed to walk into a testing room, but instead accidentally walked into the professor’s office.  Immediately, the professor berated the students and said, “Are you not smart enough to see the do-not-disturb sign?” They then took a math test and solved a quarter fewer anagrams correctly compared to the students who were not just lambasted.

2. Less likely to help others.  In that same experiment, people who were just scolded by the professor opted not to help others when they had the opportunity to do so.  In another experiment, as students were leaving the school building after enduring some harsh words, they saw a few classmates drop a bunch of books and choose to keep walking instead of helping to pick them up.  The best teams are collaborative ones so if people are holding back with their assistance, teams cannot reach peak performance.

3. Creates silence and shutdown.  Toxic bosses create an environment where people stay quiet because they want to avoid rocking the boat.  They are trying to stay under the radar because they do not want to be a target for any abuse. This significantly hurts teams and organizations because there is no feeling of psychological safety for people to contribute their ideas, especially when half-formed. Having that environment where you can comfortably share and be supported is a necessary component to reach collective intelligence and do great work.

Responses to Avoid

When you are feeling abused and wanting immediate reconciliation, it can be tempting to opt for less helpful responses that may feel good in the short-term but carry severe negative long-term consequences.  Here are some to avoid: 

1. Do nothing and endure. This decision can eat you up inside and cause resentment.  The discontent cannot only manifest at the workplace but also at home and create an unhappy disposition with the people you care for the most.  When we continuously repress our feelings, it comes out in other ways, often when we least expect it or cannot afford for it to leak out.

2. Fight back at the moment.  It is not the best idea if you have not collected your thoughts, yet choose to unleash them spontaneously for the sake of justice.  After all, you believe that this person simply cannot go around rebuking people the way they do, and you are going to be the person to change their behavior.  The problem with this savior mentality is that it is immediately going to put the person on the defensive and they have been playing the angry-and-public-ridicule game for much longer than you have so picking a fight on their turf may be gratifying at the moment, but most likely does not lead to a productive resolution.

Responses to Consider

Here are some helpful steps you can take to confront your boss thoughtfully and productively so you can decide your next move:

1. Focus on personal impact.  See if you can find a respectful way of letting them know the impact they are having on you.  People sometimes do not see how upsetting, demeaning, and unprofessional their actions are to you, your team, or the organization.   Other people's intentions only exist in their hearts and minds so we cannot assume that we know them. We feel hurt so we think that they intended to hurt us, but when we can disentangle intent from impact and apply curiosity, we can get more information on how best to respond and understand why this is occurring.  The best-case scenario is that they understand just how much you have been affected and take steps to change their behavior.

2. Change teams. If you believe in your company’s purpose and vision but are having a hard time with the manager, see if you can change teams so you are no longer reporting to your boss. If enough people are requesting a transfer, it will become obvious where the source of the problem exists.

3. Change jobs.  If you conclude that the other person had intentions to hurt you or does not plan on changing, and this is typical of what goes on in different parts of the organization, you may want to consider leaving your job.  What is all this heartache and pain costing you?  Find that leader in a people-first company who will not only treat you with dignity but will inspire you and bring out your very best.

The big question that people always ask about Steve Jobs is - did he have to be so mean?  Walter Isaacson would argue that he succeeded in spite of his cruelty, not because of it. The kindness routes are always the better paths to travel down because you will get better results and create stronger relationships along the way.

Quote of the day:  “Having a bad boss isn't your fault. Staying with one is.” -Nora Denzel 

Q: How have you handled a difficult boss? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear your opinions.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with people to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

[The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on what organizations can do to prevent difficult people from tanking the culture]


How do you handle a difficult boss?

How do you handle a difficult boss?

Does Your Team Have A Ritual? (Team Series 9/10)

Sitting around the table with your family for your favorite holiday and then playing board games together afterward can be a sacred social ritual that contains special moments that have lasting significance.

Rituals are surprisingly ubiquitous across cultures and time and have played a role, for better or for worse, in the lives of individuals and societies.  Our ancient ancestors used the bond of ritual to create ties of kinship necessary for survival in a world rife with dangers.  The ritual of storytelling around a fire was used to pass down wisdom and beliefs across generations. 

In modern times, for some people, this word can conjure up a negative connotation because it may remind us of the practices that we had to do when we were young to appease our families.  Perhaps we did not want to do them or even know the reasons for why we were partaking — I always wondered about going to confession when I was not in the mood to share my secrets.  However, simple social rituals like a bedtime routine, keeping a gratitude journal, or a Thursday evening walk to the ice cream shop with your partner can help us consistently engage in our core values by fostering healthy and positive habits for our mind. 

The benefits of social rituals that we choose:

1. It allows for presence.  In our hyper-paced world, we can easily become anxious by ruminating on the past or being worried about the future, but when we spend more time in the present, we gain a greater sense of control and wellbeing. Doing the same activity every day and choosing to be mindful and fully present means that we will both receive the most from, and give the most to the experience.  Top sports players are well known for their pre-match rituals.  Serena Williams always bounces the ball five times on her first serve and twice on her second.  She wears the same pair of socks for the duration of a tournament.  She has even blamed losing on not following her ritual.

2. It provides structure and comfort.  It gives a sense of stability and continuity amidst the ever-changing, hectic, and often chaotic world.  Knowing that there is a practice that we consistently turn to provides familiarity and control over a changing world.

3. It offers a sense of renewal.  Metaphorically, rituals are oases, a time to rest, replenish, and restore ourselves on our long and winding path through life.  The time-out from our cyclic existence can provide mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, especially while we are connecting with others.

4. Increases self-control.  Harvard Business Professor Francesco Gina and colleagues wrote about the use of rituals to help with self-control. Their study compared two groups of people who had the goal of losing weight. The first group was told to be mindful of what they ate for five days.  The second group had to engage in a three-step pre-meal ritual.  Step 1: cut their food.  Step 2: arrange their food symmetrically on the plate.  Step 3. tap their food three times with the utensil before eating.  The second group who followed the ritual ate less on average.   Going through these steps made them more mindful of the process and had a more significant impact on their goal of eating in moderation.

The benefits of rituals in teams and organizations:

Secular rituals or repeated enactments of a particular set of behaviors, scripts, and interactions can be a great tool to shape company cultures.

1. It is a way to stay connected.  Setting aside quality time to better relate with others and build a strong sense of community is everything.  Rituals can provide purpose, values, and meaning, while also bringing us together.  It can be a way to reinforce our identity.  Many workplaces have rituals for this exact objective.  At Walmart, workers begin the day with a company cheer.  At Yelp, salespeople bang a gong when they close a sale.  When I was at Penn State for college, I encountered a ritual that I initially found quirky but then wholly embraced because it made me feel more connected with my classmates. Walking through campus or the town, you would hear crowds spontaneously erupt with chants “We Are?!” and then they would wait for the only response from all to join in “Penn State!” As my group of friends would proudly respond in unison, it made us feel more connected to each other and this special experience. Ritual is what allows us to gather the energy needed to achieve great things, often beyond what we could imagine ourselves capable of. 

2. Rituals can be motivating.  Athletes who come together and do a cheer before the start of a game feel linked and energized.  Rituals can motivate a team to excel together.  A few years ago, Michael Norton, a Harvard Business School Professor, led a study in which 221 people were grouped into small teams and assigned to run around campus taking group selfies in front of specific locations, earning points for how many photos they completed in 45 minutes.  Before they began, one group was instructed to form a circle and perform a series of rhythmic claps and foot stomps, followed by a chant of “Let’s go” — a ritual they repeated three times.  The other groups spent this time reading an article in silence.  When the scavenger hunt finished, the groups that had executed the pre-hunt ritual had outscored the no-ritual groups — and they also reported liking teammates more.

Engaging in a social ritual for your team can create special bonding moments that can boost performance and create lasting memories.

Quote of the day: “The human soul can always use a new tradition.  Sometimes we require them.” -Author Pat Conroy, The Lords of Discipline   

Q: What are your favorite individual or team rituals that help you feel more connected?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

*The next and final blog in this team series 10/10 will provide common ways to build community in your teams.

As a Leadership Development & Team Coach, I work with teams to create rituals for peak performance and community building. Contact me to learn more.

What are your team rituals?

What are your team rituals?

Teams Who Break Bread Together, Bond (Team Series 8/10)

How often does your team eat together?  This simple yet powerful act can have a myriad of positive benefits.  

Research by Professor Kevin Kniffin of Cornell University found how extraordinary meaningful eating together can be.  One study looked at firefighters who engaged in Commensality – preparing and eating food together – and it showed that those who ate together did their jobs better.  In some cases, there is a lot of cooperative behavior that underline meal practice - collecting money, planning, talking, cleaning, and eating - all enhance group performance on the job.  In fact, cooperative behavior was twice as high for those who ate together versus those who did not.  Even those who did not contribute money for the meals still went in on the experience as they brought their food to eat with the others.  Eating together is essential for making the team more effective because it makes a group feel like a kind of family and creates bonds beyond the job. 

You can see this also happening in the sports arena.  Spurs legendary basketball Coach Gregg Popovich, who has the most wins in NBA history, knows all about building a strong team culture.  The Spurs eat together as often as they play basketball with a high number of team, group, and coach dinners.  As a food connoisseur, Popovich plans the restaurants and meals carefully, and at the end of the season, each player gets a leather-bound book containing the menus and wine labels from every dinner.  It’s a bonding experience that each player remembers long after the event.  

Companies would do well investing in how employees eat at work.  Google offers free high quality abundantly varied meals, which increases the odds that teammates will eat with each other and build further connections. While it is unrealistic to think that every company can provide meals, some simple things can be done to encourage your team or organizational members to break bread together more frequently.

Here are some practices you can use to encourage more team mingling:

1. Lunch roulette.  This is a great way to foster in-company networking.  It is currently being employed at Boehringer Ingelheim.  It works in four simple steps.  Participants select a date when they are free for lunch and choose one of the company cafeterias in which to travel.  They then click a “Match Me” button, and a lunch date and calendar reminder are emailed to their mailboxes.  After that, all they need to do is show up with an open mind and a willingness to connect.  Within seven weeks of the program, more than 350 people were matched, including a more unusual pairing of the CEO with a young member of one of the brand marketing teams.  It is a practical way of creating links where none had existed and exposing colleagues to different ideas and perspectives. Unexpected pairings and conversations for creative collaborations are always a welcomed surprise. And if you do not prefer to use an app to do these matchings, you can make the sign-ups electronically available as a google doc where people can add their names. If you are unable to meet in person, you can arrange a zoom lunch and create connections even while physically distanced.

2. Lunch and learn.  Similar to lunch roulette, but combines a more formal learning and socializing approach. You write down three things you would be interested in sharing and three things you would like to learn.  Partners are made based on mutual interest.  It is a great informal way of building cross-functional engagement and connecting with people who work in different departments that you do not get that much personal time to interact. This helps to create greater bonds and connect with people outside your immediate team.  Other than one-on-ones, you can also choose to have a small group gathering to amplify the learning experience.

When you dedicate time to get to know others and eat food together, you are creating special moments.  You may find yourself talking about meaningful personal topics that keep you connected to others in unbreakable ways. Additionally, that positive energy transfers into the work world as there is a significant correlation between eating together and positive performance.

Quote of the day: “First we eat, then we do everything else.” -Writer M.F.K Fisher

Q: What food practices do you have to spend better quality time with others? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

*The next blog in this team series 9/10 will explore the importance of rituals for teams.

As a Leadership Development & Team Coach, I offer teambuilding seminars & coaching Contact me to learn more.

The power of community through meal sharing

The power of community through meal sharing

Collective Intelligence is the Goal (Team Series 7/10)

Your team is filled with highly talented individuals, yet you are not getting desired results.  How do you get your all-stars to contribute to something larger than themselves to produce excellence?

In 2008, a group of psychologists from Carnegie Mellon and MIT wondered what made teams consistently better?  The answer – harnessing the power of collective intelligence or the coming together of people to share their knowledge and insights.  Michael Silverman, MD of Silverman Research, defines collective intelligence as “something that emerges from a group that is distinct from the smarts of any single member.” 

They concluded that two factors go into fostering collective intelligence.

1. Have equal distribution of conversation.  When you have all people speak for roughly the same amount of time during a meeting, you have the presence of what researchers call “equality in distribution of conversational turn-taking.”  Whether people are speaking a little bit on each of the meeting tasks or more on one or two of them, as long as the balance sheet shows roughly the same amount of air time, collective intelligence can be reached.  Anita Woolley, the study’s lead author offered, “As long as everyone got a chance to talk, the team did well.  If only one person or a small group spoke all the time, the collective intelligence declined.”

Executive Producer Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live, one of the longest-running and most successful shows on tv abides by two rules related to participation: give everyone a voice, and force people to listen to each other. Michaels will often keep a sheet of paper during a meeting, and make a note each time someone speaks.  He will not end the session until others talk an approximately equal number of times.  He sees his job as protecting people’s distinct voices and getting them to work together productively.

2. Foster high social sensitivity within the group.  This is a fancy way of saying that people are skilled at reading the room.  Teammates can intuit how other members felt based on non-verbal cues – body language, tone of voice, facial expressions.  Members took into account what was said and unsaid and were sensitive to all those thoughts and emotions. So, how do these behaviors of being more attuned to others emerge?  In a New York Times article where Author Charles Duhigg writes about effective teams, he answers the question by saying, “The right norms – those small habits, unwritten rules, and mutually agreed-upon ways of treating one another - could raise a group’s collective intelligence, whereas the wrong norms could hobble a team, even if, individually, all the members were exceptionally bright.”  One recommendation by the Kellogg Insight would be to have more women on the team because they tend to be more socially perceptive.

When you set up the systems for all people to share openly and to really listen to each other, marvelous things can happen.  It has been shown that the quantity of ideas is where a lot of innovation stems, so nudging all your participants to get involved can advance your team’s creative purposes.

Quote: “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”- Peter F. Drucker

Q: How do you ensure that each member is contributing equally?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear.

*The next blog in this team series 8/10 will cover the importance of eating together for teambuilding.

As a Leadership Development & Executive Coach, I work with teams to facilitate the creation of norms and agreements for the best performance. Contact me to learn more.

Harness the power of the group for the most excellent results

Harness the power of the group for the most excellent results

Your Team Needs Universal Agreements (Team Series 5/10)

Effective teams are intricately linked by a common purpose based on shared values and norms.  They believe that they can succeed or fail together.  The healthy teams have rules of engagement – explicit and implicit guidelines of how to work together and the kinds of conflicts they will or will not allow. Some agreements can be broad such as listen like you are wrong, assume positive intent, and be solution-focused. Other agreements can relate to specific activities like team meetings.

Here are some norms that can foster an excellent working relationship among teams in their meetings:

1. Encourage full participation.  Sometimes when you go to a meeting, there is somebody who sits off to the side and never says anything.  However, it is essential for everybody to be heard for buy-in to occur and for the greatest amount of ideas to be put on the table. What systems do you put into place to foster maximum contributions? For some ideas, you can check out my article, “5 ways to spark full team participation.”

2. Adopt the Devil’s Advocate Role.  Some people invoke this term to have license to say something unpopular or distasteful, but a real devil’s advocate provides an excellent service.  It gives people permission to challenge, disagree, and argue productively.  It is an excellent practice to test your idea and make sure it is really solid.  If your teammate is trying to tear it apart, poke holes, and undermine it, and you cannot adequately defend the idea, perhaps it is not ready yet for the mainstream. For this tactic to be effective, you need to have trust and psychological safety. You are more likely to give and receive challenges when there is an understanding that the goal of the tough inquires is to make your ideas even better, thereby benefiting the team.

3. Establish a “disagree and commit” culture.  This idea comes from Tech Co-founder Scott McNealy's larger point - “Agree and commit, disagree and commit, or get out of the way.”  Andy Grove, and most recently Jeff Bezos included this idea in his 2016 letter to shareholders.  Bezos expected and demanded that teammates voice their disagreement.  He also believed that no matter their point of view, once a decision has been made, everyone commits to its success.  He writes, “Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit. Leaders are obligated to respectfully challenge decisions when they disagree, even when doing so is uncomfortable or exhausting.”  If you have two people battling to win the approval of their idea and one loses, that person could be so tied to their plan that they may not want to see the other person’s idea succeed.  But real teammates know how to spar to make each other better and then offer their sincere support and robust commitment because there is a bigger picture and a larger vision at play.  If you notice somebody not jumping on board, they may be elevating the individual over the group agenda. 

4. Speak last as a leader.  This advice was given to former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer by legendary Executive Coach Bill Taylor.  He said that when you go first and blurt out your ideas, you rob other people with the ability to share their perspectives.  While you may know the answer, it is vital to contribute last because you give the team the chance to partake in the process, synergize, and get there together, which is just as important as coming up with the right idea.

5. Elect the right people to lead the discussion.  If the conversation is about marketing, it should be led by the marketing department.  Most times, corporate politics can get in the way of the finest ideas prevailing, but the best managers put the person closest to the problem in charge of solving it because they have first-hand experience and unique insights. Innovation is not about only allowing important people with big titles to create, but driving forward excellent ideas regardless of where they originate.

6. Use the Six Thinking Hats Method.  Edward De Bono designed a system for group discussion and individual decision making by the use of six colored hats, which represent a type of thinking. 

  • The WHITE hat is logical and fact-based where you analyze data and past trends.

  • The YELLOW hat symbolizes optimism where you explore the positives and probe for value and benefit.

  • The GREEN hat is creative and provocative where you offer possibilities and out-of-the-box alternatives to standard ideas.

  • The BLACK hat is judgment, the devil’s advocate role, or why something may not work.  This hat is cautious and conservative and can be the most powerful but problematic if overused.

  • The RED hat signifies feelings, hunches, and intuition. When using this hat, you can express emotions and share fears, likes, loves, and dislikes.

  • The BLUE hat is used to manage the thinking process, it could be a meeting chair that directs the conversation and calls on certain hats when there is a lull or when contrast is required.

You can try on certain hats for a specific agenda item to yield a great variety of perspectives to form a more comprehensive picture. 

7. Use the Double Pro/Con Method.  This is great for when you are trying to foster fruitful discussion and see multiple perspectives.  If you have a group of 10, you would divide them into two groups of five.  

·      Each group of five will spend some time depositing ideas into the collective pool and then choosing the best idea they want to present to the whole group of 10.  

·      They will then divide themselves - 2 people representing pro and three people representing con and will discuss for 10 minutes so multiple points are displayed.  

·      Then they will switch roles where the three people are now for the proposal, and the two people are against it. This would be enlightening for the second group of 5 people to watch because they can see the contrasting ideas and tease out the nuggets of wisdom.  

·      You can then invite the second group to go through the method so the first group can have the benefit of witnessing multiple sides to a proposal.

Great teams do not just organically happen. When you are intentional about adding some structure and universal agreements, creativity and excellence can surely abound.

Quote of the day: “In teamwork, silence isn’t golden, it’s deadly.”  -Mark Sanborn

Q: What are some norms that you use which help your team perform at their best? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

*The next blog in this team series 6/10 will delve into 5 ways to spark full team participation.

As a Leadership Development & Executive Coach, I work with teams to set up universal agreements for peak performance . Contact me to learn more.

Which agreements allow your team to thrive?

Which agreements allow your team to thrive?

It’s All About A Team-First Mentality (Team Series 3/10)

In today’s driven society, it is not uncommon for companies to have teams filled with talented, ambitious, opinionated people with large egos who want to advance in their careers.

The temptation for people to stand out from the crowd for recognition, promotion, bonuses, and office size looms ever large.  Internal competition creeps in and those company perks become ways to keep score.  The word team, unfortunately, exists in name, but not in practice because it becomes a collection of rivals who want to pursue individual achievement over group success.  If unchecked, these intergroup conflicts can have adverse rippling effects. 

So, how do you encourage your members to act as a team?  In short, form a community.  Phil Jackson said, “Good teams become great ones when the members trust each other enough to surrender the Me for the We.”  Do not just think about your team as a compilation of members who are working towards completing a job.  Instead, see them as much more -  a community that supports each other to be better than they think they can be as they march towards a common goal that they also personally care about.  Teams that act as communities do not have to be best friends and spend all their time together, but they have to know how to integrate their interests and put aside differences. 

The benefits of a community cannot be ignored.  Those who feel like they are part of a supportive network at work are more engaged, more productive, and are less likely to experience burnout.  The simple fact is that teams of people who subordinate individual agendas will always outperform teams that do not. 

Here are some ways you can build community:

1. Understand your role as contributing to the greater good.  Numerous examples can be found in sports.  Shane Battier is known as a no-stats All-Star in basketball, he never scored a lot of points or got a lot of rebounds, but he made his teammates more effective and the opposing team less so.  His team was more likely to win with him in the game and was part of two NBA championships. He knew exactly what his role was, which was not to be the best small forward in the league by merely chasing stats but to do whatever he had to do to be the best for his team, even if it was in a set-up role that did not allow him to accumulate impressive stats.   

Similarly, in 2015, co-captain Abby Wambach, considered to be one of the most successful soccer players -  2x gold medalist and all-time top goal scorer of 184 - spent most of the World Cup on the bench.  She was called upon as a substitute only in the late stages of some games.  She shared how she did not let that discourage her, she always found ways to lead from the sidelines and champion her teammates because that is what was called for.  To win a game, it requires a coordinated effort on and off the field and she always found ways to uniquely contribute wherever she was standing.

2. Share credit.  This is a vital part of being on a team.  Author A.J. Jacobs shared a story about Jonas Salk taking sole credit for coming up with a polio vaccine and when given a chance, did not acknowledge any of his collaborators and predecessors who helped along the way.  Psychologists call this failure to recognize and thank collaboratives the responsibility or self-serving bias.  It is a pitfall that we should all avoid since it causes a lot of pain and resentment among other people.  So, how do you fight against the natural tendency of each member to exaggerate his/her contribution relative to the influence of other teammates?  Choose to elevate and reward cooperation, as well as individual achievement. Encouraging teammates to help each other thrive should garner just as much, if not more recognition. When you consistently catch people doing great things like mentoring others or pitching in on teammates’ projects, that should be valued and rewarded. This gesture clearly communicates the emphasis your culture places on teamwork.

Author and Startup Investor Fran Hauser offers some easy strategies to share credit for team success and to provide appreciation.  When you have a team win, you can do the following, depending on what you think the recipient would most enjoy:

·      Send an email to that person’s boss and CC your coworker.

·      Call out a coworker’s “good job” at a meeting - have the person stand up while everybody else claps.

·      Take a colleague out to lunch to celebrate teaming up on a job well done.

·      Treat a colleague to a small gift card at their favorite store for helping you.

·      Send the person a morning text letting them know you got them a Starbucks coffee if you know they get a latte every morning.

·      Write a handwritten note mentioning their specific contributions that made the team successful.

If a supervisor accidentally credits you with a good idea, you can interject to set the record straight by letting your boss know it was your coworker who came up with that idea.  If somebody has told you an idea in private and you are passing it along in front of a crowd, be sure to mention the source and your information. When you spread the credit, you pass along the love, trust, and pride in the team

3. Contribute as a problem-solver.  Being a part of a community involves having a collective mindset.  Going to a meeting and pitching in on solving a problem, even if it does not relate to you directly because you are invested in the group’s outcome.  It is also about taking ownership of the group’s success.  When you complain, think about it as if you are griping against yourself so instead of spreading negativity, what are 1-2 possible solutions you can offer that goes along with your constructive critique?

While you may not get the chance to choose your colleagues, you can always take steps to improve the dynamic. Simple gestures about asking about people’s days, sending an email letting them know you appreciate their work, and genuinely listening to others can make all the difference in feeling like a community.

“Ego is the ultimate killer on a team,” said Management Guru Patrick Lencioni.  One way to subdue the dominance of the ego is to encourage people to feel like they belong to a community where they enjoy numerous collective benefits when operating together more than they can ever experience individually.

Quote of the day: “Great things in business are never done by one person; they are done by a team of people.” — Steve Jobs

Question of the day:  How do you like experiencing a sense of belonging?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

The next blog in this team series 4/10 will explore the importance of healthy conflict.

As a Leadership Development & Executive Coach, I work with teams to build community for peak performance. Contact me to learn more.

What can you build with a team-first mentality?

What can you build with a team-first mentality?

The Subtle Art Of Masterful Delegation (Delegation Series 2/4)

So, you have just made the all-important decision to remove something from your plate and assign it to your team.  Reviewing these steps can make a difference between a successful and rewarding endeavor versus a disastrous outcome. 

Here are some necessary actions to consider in the delegation process:

1. Plan. It is essential to think through what has to be done. Many problems in management deal with taking action without thinking and preparing. The old saying, “A stitch in time saves nine” is echoed by Brian Tracy as he maintains that every minute spent in planning saves 10-12 minutes in execution.  A good start is to write out the goals, objectives, results, standards, deadlines, and a general checklist.

A second step can be to do some of the initial planning work yourself because you will have a much better idea of what the job entails before you pass it off to the next person. If it is the situation where you have been given this task from your boss but only been given partial information yourself, do the best with what you have and be clear with your direct report about the limited information you are working with so you can combine forces and fill in the gaps. The key is to spend some time on the WHAT it is that needs to be done and the vision of success, while offering flexibility in the HOW or the approach to the work. Invite your direct report to create a first draft plan of their approach to ensure you are on the same page in how you are thinking about the work before dedicating massive execution hours.

2. Choose the right person.  Ask yourself, does this person have the ability, readiness/attitude, and time to get the job done.  Have they demonstrated competence in previous projects? Do they have the motivation to learn? Believe it or not, busy people can sometimes be the best choice.  Tracy Dumas, Associate Professor of Management and Human Resources ran a study that showed that people were more productive and focused when they had a lot on their plates.  We tend to respect the limited time we have and make careful choices in how we spend our precious moments.  It is good to tell your team member why you chose him/her specifically, and how you hope to help him/her grow in this opportunity to take on more responsibilities. Will they benefit by doing these budget reports because they will have a greater understanding of how other departments work and can practice presenting dry data in an interesting way? Do not force a wrong fit, if the job is simply well beyond their scope and they do not have the right attitude and skill to approach it, the outcome will likely be disastrous. You can ask them how eager they are to take it on so you can also gauge fit.  People may be highly capable, but if they abhor the task, they may drag their feet in meeting deliverables.

3. Be crystal clear in goals, objectives, results, and standards as you co-create success.

A. Share your goals and objectives. Describe the job to be done (goals), the objectives to measure progress, and the date you need the work completed.  When people know exactly what is expected of them, their productivity increases and their self-esteem grows. In contrast, with ineffective, fuzzy, or vague delegation, it can cause confusion that can lead to poor performance and irritability where they are spending more time doing other activities and less time producing the work that needs to be done. While it may be the case that the job to be done is brand new territory that both of you are exploring, you can still be on the same page on the general direction you are headed, and then make adjustments as your destination nears.  It is like embarking on a road trip out of NY and heading towards California, sure you may not know if you will end up in San Diego or LA or even detour to Austin, but having that general spot in mind will still provide a lot of early momentum and greater clarity as you cruise. When you take action and gain more insights, you can steer in a more precise direction.

B. Determine your key results and set standards. The hallmark of a successful manager is an intense results-oriented approach. While people can be spending a lot of time doing work, it should not be confused with getting results.  As the Pareto Principle goes, 80% of the value people produce will come from 20% of the activity they do.  “The very worse use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all,” says Management Consultant Ben Trigo. Sure, it is possible that employees can learn much about increasing the customer experience, but if their efforts do not manifest into the goal of achieving a 5% increase in satisfaction, it is considered unsuccessful.  Additionally, having a shared understanding of standards of excellence is essential because you could have two different ideas on how an outcome may look.  To avoid confusion, you can paint your picture of success with as much vivid imagery as you can so you both know what needs to be done.

C. Co-create success.  As you are discussing the above criteria, it should be a two-way street. The direct reports should be weighing in on the process and timelines.  Managers should invite them to ask questions, share concerns, and make suggestions. Towards the end of the meeting, have the person repeat back the assignment because there is a chance that they may have either missed part of the discussion or simply misunderstood.  Now is the time to catch the error.  See yourself as a teacher, be patient, and field questions.  It is during this process where you might be able to uncover where the employee is uncomfortable and what resources can be used for support.

4. Utilize these helpful management techniques:

A. Set check-ins. During this time, you can provide guidance on the project and regularly evaluate and compare the results agreed upon.  If they did not complete a task, you could drop them an email to ask how it is going, instead of taking an accusatory approach, e.g., “you were supposed to have that report already.”

What is the frequency of the check-in? It is better to have more early on to make sure the project starts successfully and then once you are completely aligned, fewer check-ins are necessary. Will the check-ins be in person or through email? Does the direct report know they should initiate the email? Are there key questions you want to be answered, such as what progress have you made since the last check-in, what roadblocks have you encountered, and how can I support you? When you discuss the check-in process upfront, it does not seem like you are overbearing and that you are checking up on the person, but that you are putting in a loose structure that will allow you to connect intentionally and keep the project on track.

As a leader, it can be helpful to adjust your cadence for check-in based on a couple of factors. The first variable relates to your team members’ level of experience and track record of success. If you have a seasoned member that has successfully done this kind of work before, you may opt for less frequent check-ins. On the other hand, if you have a team member who has never done something like this before, you might want to explain your rationale for more frequent check-ins, such as “I know this is new for you so I may check in more regularly than I normally would so I can offer the necessary supports and help you be set up for success, how does that work for you?” Another factor relates to the visibility of the project. If it is just an internal assignment with limited risk, you may dial down your check-ins. However, if the project suddenly has the eyes of senior leadership and is deemed highly important, you may want to dial up the check-ins. Be sure to explain your thinking to your team member, something like, “this has grabbed the attention of the senior leaders, I may increase my check-ins to help make this a success. You can also adjust as you go, if great progress is being made, you can let them know that you will decrease the check-in because they are fully driving the project and you have faith in their decisions.

B. Establish a Disaster Plan. Nobody likes to think about a project failing, but we can better guard against it when we do. What’s your plan if something goes wrong? Say a client changes the requirements at the last minute, or a timeline gets dramatically moved, or your key players helping you with the project are out sick for some time; how will you handle the work then? You do not have to have all the answers at this point, but it is helpful to start that dialogue. Your tendency as a leader may be to jump in and rescue, but you want to think about how you will help that team member develop the capacity to handle the complexity themselves and enlist your support if needed.

C. Provide feedback and encouragement. It is important to give regular feedback. Be sure to notice the good work they have been doing and share your appreciation. Practice positive, authentic expectations – “I know you will do a great job,” “I have complete confidence in you.” “I really like the way you handled that potential problem by consulting Dan, you show great initiative.” You can also offer public praise in your meetings by mentioning the successful milestones the person is completing.

D. Empower autonomy and problem-solving.  Give people the freedom to accomplish the job as they will be judged on their results and not a fixed way of getting them. If they run into a problem,  encourage them to try and solve it so they can learn, make mistakes, and figure out how to correct them.  It is helpful to get them thinking about what resources they have at their disposal to explore before coming to you? If they are evaluating three options, have them prepare a “recommendation report” where they lay out the pros and cons of each option, their recommendation, and their rationale for their choice. This approach will help them with problem-solving skills in gaining clarity, being resourceful, and presenting their options concisely.

E. Reflect. Afterward, take time to individually review and assess the outcome so you too can learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself how you can tweak your approach for next time. Can you delegate more involved tasks? Should you give them more freedom? Do you need to monitor progress more closely? You can ask the direct report for feedback as well, such as “what part of the delegation process was most helpful? What would be something I do differently to better support you?”

If the job went well, give ample public recognition and praise because when it is broadcasted in front of their peers, it has twice the motivational power.  Remember to be patient with yourself while you practice the skill of delegation.  You are going from the mindset of doing everything yourself to letting other people learn and while it may be bumpy at first, the payoff can be massive.

If you are feeling overworked and also know that there is more your team can be doing, it is the perfect time to delegate more!  By taking the proper steps of planning, choosing the right people, and co-creating objectives and results, you will experience greater collective success and not only ready yourself for more responsibilities but fulfill your most important role as a manager which is to grow the abilities of others.

Quote of the day: “When you delegate tasks, you create followers. When you delegate authority, you create leaders.”Craig Groeschel, founder of Life Church

Q: What works best for you when you decide to delegate? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on 5 common delegation misconceptions.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help them delegate more effectively, contact me to explore this topic further.

Delegation requires trust

Delegation requires trust