Success is a word that often evokes images of wealth, recognition, and social status—ideas we’ve absorbed over the years from society, media, and education. But while these definitions are pervasive, they can also be restrictive, confining us to a narrow view of what it means to live a fulfilling life. When we look deeper, success becomes something far more personal and multifaceted. Real success lies in achieving goals that resonate with our core values and in building a life aligned with our unique aspirations.
Moving from an "Outside-In" to an "Inside-Out" Definition of Success
Many of us adopt an “outside-in” definition of success early on, focusing on what society deems valuable—status, money, admiration. This can lead us to pursue goals that fulfill others’ expectations rather than our desires. When we define success for ourselves, we create an “inside-out” perspective based on our values, passions, and aspirations.
Here are some steps to help you explore your unique definition of success:
1. Reflect on Your Core Values. The first article in this series covers this topic. Start by identifying your core values. Is integrity, kindness, creativity, or growth important to you? When success aligns with these values, it brings lasting fulfillment. For instance, if your core value is growth, success might involve learning and self-improvement rather than reaching a specific career title.
2. Think About the Impact You Want to Make. Success isn’t only about what you gain but what you give. Consider the impact you’d like to make in your community, industry, or family. Impact does not have to mean major world changes—it could be as simple as supporting others, raising a loving family, or fostering a positive work environment.
3. Imagine the Lifestyle You Envision. Envision the lifestyle that would make you feel successful. Would it involve travel, a slower pace, or a high-energy, entrepreneurial drive? Success can be about having time for hobbies, enjoying meaningful relationships, or maintaining a healthy balance between work and personal life.
4. Explore Both Personal and Professional Goals. It’s important to view success holistically, incorporating personal and professional aspirations. While your career might bring professional success, a fulfilling personal life is equally valuable. Tennis star Roger Federer, for example, balanced a high-achieving athletic career with being a committed husband and father, showing that success encompasses multiple facets of life.
5. Embrace Daily Progress Over Perfection. Darren Hardy’s perspective on success as “rent that’s due every day” reminds us that success is not a static end goal. It’s a continuous process of growth and improvement. Success is not about flawless achievement but relatively steady, meaningful progress towards what matters most to you.
A New, Sustainable Model for Success can incorporate these 3 elements:
Well-Being: True success includes physical and mental health. If achieving your goals means neglecting your health, it’s unlikely to feel fulfilling in the long run.
Wisdom and Wonder: Success is also about lifelong learning and a sense of curiosity. When you appreciate life’s small moments, you create joy in the journey itself.
Contribution: Meaningful success involves making a positive impact. Whether it’s helping others in your community or contributing positively to your work environment, contribution adds a layer of purpose to your achievements.
Success and Happiness: The Connection
The relationship between success and happiness is often misunderstood. Some view success as a pathway to happiness, while others find it in the process. Adam Grant’s research suggests that when we prioritize internal goals, like personal growth, kindness, and health, we experience greater happiness and well-being than when we focus on external rewards like fame or wealth. In other words, happiness and success are closely linked when we define success in a way that aligns with our values.
Success isn’t solely about accomplishments; it’s also about the quality of the journey. Finding happiness in everyday progress, connecting with others, and pursuing work that resonates with us creates a richer, more fulfilling version of success. As Phil Jackson wisely noted, “You’re only successful at the moment when you perform a successful act.”
Success is not a single, universal measure. It’s a highly personal journey, one that should be aligned with your own values, passions, and goals. Real success is about crafting a life that resonates deeply with who you are and what you care about. Define it for yourself, live it each day, and find fulfillment in the journey—not just the destination.
Reflection Question: What does success mean to you today, and how can you begin to live by that definition more fully? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!
Quote: "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." — Albert Schweitzer
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to develop their leadership brand and define success, contact me to explore this topic further.
How do you define success?