In the first article in this series, we explored the concept of self-awareness and the gap between how self-aware we believe we are and how aware we actually are. In the second article, we examined the biases and barriers that make it difficult to develop self-awareness. The natural question that follows is: How do we actually build self-awareness?
Insight alone is not enough. Self-awareness develops through reflection, feedback, and intentional experimentation.
Let’s explore practical strategies to translate insight into growth and unlock your full potential.
1. Reflect on Yourself. Self-awareness begins with intentional reflection. Leaders who develop strong self-awareness regularly examine their motivations, behaviors, and performance.
1A. Inventory of strengths, non-strengths, values, and opportunities. Identify both strengths and limitations. We sometimes do this work when preparing for an interview and find that it is helpful to get super clear, so making the space to answer these questions is important. You can take many assessments such as Myers-Briggs, The Big Five, or CliftonStrengths, to gain deeper insights on personality, behavior, and natural talents.
1B. Create reflection time. Many leaders say they are too busy to reflect. Responding to emails and solving immediate problems often feels more productive. Yet reflection is one of the practices that separates good leaders from great ones. Setting aside time to reflect helps leaders examine questions such as: What is going well and why? What could be going better? How did I respond to recent challenges or setbacks? What lessons can I extract from those experiences? Reflection helps convert experience into learning.
1C. Ask better questions. Self-awareness grows when we challenge our own assumptions. Questions such as these can expand perspective: What if I am wrong? What might I be missing? What are other viewpoints I should consider? Team coaching expert David Clutterbuck suggests asking questions that increase awareness of our thinking and emotions: How do I feel about the way that I think? How do I feel about the way that I feel? How do I think about the way that I feel? How do I think about the way that I think? Questions like these encourage deeper reflection.
1D. Test Your Assumptions. A useful question for building self-awareness is: How do you know if something is true? For example, a leader might wonder, " How do I know I am approachable? Start by identifying behaviors that support the claim. I leave my office door open for others to enter when they need something; I ask if they have any questions during a meeting; I prompt them to respond to my email with any follow-ups; I participate in activities with my team, such as attending their meetings and connection gatherings.
Next, seek others' perspectives on your approach and how you can improve. E.g., “I am working on being an approachable leader, how approachable do you think I am, what do I do now that supports my approachability, and what can I do to be even more approachable?” Comparing your intentions with others’ experiences often reveals valuable insight.
You can also measure progress over time. If you are working on a skill such as listening, define what success looks like and identify a few indicators. After several months, evaluate your progress using both your own reflection and feedback from others. Self-awareness improves when we move beyond assumptions and begin testing our beliefs against reality.
1E. Compare yourself to your future self. Write a letter to yourself outlining what you want to improve. Open it in a few months to compare your progress. Marshall Goldsmith suggests thinking about what gifts your current self has given to your future self.
1F. Learn from Others. Whatever skill you are trying to improve, read about it, and observe others who excel. Identify effective behaviors and compare them to your own. Learn from those you admire and avoid the mistakes of those you don't.
2. Work with a coach. Many leaders accelerate their self-awareness by working with a coach. Coaches help clients see beyond assumptions and narratives to understand their present reality more clearly and shape their future more effectively. They often use questions, reflection, metaphors, stories, and synthesis to help clients see patterns they may not notice themselves. They also ask questions, such as " Why do you do what you do? Why do they believe what you believe, and how is it serving you now?
2A. Perception management. Coaches help clients think about their current and ideal perceptions, and their impact. They assist in building their brand to manage these perceptions effectively.
2B. Use of self-reflection assessments. Coaches provide frameworks and assessments for clients to evaluate their skills. For example, using key leadership traits from "The Leadership Challenge" to understand their strengths and areas for improvement.
2C. Use of Coaching Tools.
· Johari Window - A psychological tool created in 1955 by Joseph Harrington to help people improve self-awareness and understand relationship dynamics through 4 quadrants: open area, blind area, hidden area, and unknown area.
· Gaps Grid. Developed by David Peterson, Former Head of Executive Coaching at Google, it’s a 2x2 matrix that enhances insight and motivation by mapping goals and values, success factors, abilities, and perceptions.
3. Seek Perspective From Others. Self-awareness is difficult to develop alone. Others often see patterns we cannot see ourselves. Leaders can gather perspectives in several ways.
3A. Collect Informal data by asking for specific feedback. Start by asking for input from trusted individuals in your professional circle—your manager, peers, mentors, or team members. The key is to ask specific questions. For example: Instead of asking “Do you have any feedback for me?” Try asking: "What is one thing I could do to improve my listening in meetings?" Specific questions produce more useful answers.
3B. Anchor your feedback. Guide observers by informing them about the skills you are working on and asking for feedback on your progress. This helps them provide more focused and relevant feedback. Examples include - “I started working on a new set of skills that I want you to watch for or A month ago, I was working on listening skills, what has been improved?” It is helpful for you to guide the observation because they are still in the throes of what they are doing, and they might not be seeing the wins. It’s kind of like when relatives you see once a year as a kid will point out how much you have grown and how different you are, and you don’t see it at all because day-to-day, not much is different.
4. Use Formal Feedback. More structured approaches can provide deeper insights.
4A. Run an automated 360. Collect feedback from the people you work closely with at all levels, directs, peers, managers, customers, partners, and other stakeholders. You get to do a self-assessment based on leadership competencies and then they also get to weigh in, and you can evaluate the anonymous data and look for patterns. When I do this with clients, they are always surprised, either by how many great comments they have received, how others have overrated themselves in some areas, and how they did not realize they were falling short of the mark. It is an eye-opening experience.
4B. Stakeholder interviews. Similar to a 360, but instead of being automated, a coach will run the process. They will conduct interviews with the stakeholders, ask questions, and then compile a report.
4C. Create brief surveys. Liz Wiseman recommends asking about some accidental diminishing behaviors, which means that despite your best intentions, you may be having an adverse impact on others.
· What am I inadvertently doing that might be having a diminishing impact on others?
· How might my intentions be interpreted differently by others?
· What messages might my actions actually be conveying?
· What can I do differently?
Developing self-awareness is a continuous journey that significantly enhances personal and professional growth. By engaging in self-assessment, seeking feedback, and working with a coach, you can gain deeper insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Over time, these practices help leaders make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and lead with greater impact.
Quotes of the day: "We learn who we are in practice, not in theory." - Herminia Ibarra
Quote of the day: As you start to walk out of the way, the way appears – Rumi
Reflection Question: What practice do you engage in to raise your awareness? Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further.
What practices raise your awareness?
