Our previous blog explored the nuances of seeking support and the importance of doing so effectively. Building on that discussion, this article dives deeper into actionable tips for maximizing the impact of your help requests.
Here are some invaluable tips to consider when reaching out for assistance:
1. Identify the Right Person. Start with people near or below your level or those designed to address specific queries in departments like Legal, Finance, or HR.
2. Get the Timing Right. Be sure to choose the least disruptive time, not while they are eating lunch or just getting ready for a big meeting. You can say, “Would you have a minute after tomorrow’s meeting to answer a few questions?” If you notice they have a pattern of answering emails in the morning, you can reach out to them then. Your priorities are not somebody else’s emergencies, so you want them to pick the best time. When you see somebody working and ask if they have a minute, but it is really 10 minutes, it is disingenuous. Instead, you can say, “I had a couple of questions on this topic, it is not a rush but if you have time later in the week or next, I’d love to schedule 15 minutes to talk through my thinking.”
3. Bundle Your Questions. If you have a series of questions, collect multiple queries to streamline communication and avoid unnecessary interruptions. It would be better to have five questions at one time, than to have a single question asked on four separate occasions.
4. Take Good Notes. When they assist, actively listen and document information to enhance comprehension and avoid repeated inquiries.
5. Be Specific About Your Ask. Outline your goals, a list of things you have tried, the blocks you are experiencing, and the kind of help you seek in what time frame because it lets people know if they are the right person to help. If they offer assistance that is not what you are seeking because it could cause more work or will not solve the problem, thank them for the offer and reiterate the specific kind of help that you are seeking, what you were planning on doing next and that you will reevaluate if you decide to pursue that avenue.
6. Build your Board of Directors. Instead of seeking help when needed, building a group of advisors or informal mentors you can go to for anything if problems arise is instrumental. Author and Wharton Professor Adam Grant has a Challenge Network: whenever he wants to pressure test an idea, he will contact his networks to get advice or a different perspective. A contract with the group is in place, so it normalizes any requested help. It’s nice when you can put in the subject line, I need your help, and within minutes, you have responses because that’s how the group operates.
7. When You Want to Create a Culture of Asking for Help. Normalize seeking support in your team or organization by integrating processes that encourage open communication. Some companies start Monday meetings off with gives and gets. “As we enter this week, what is one request you have and something you could provide.” All go around and share.
8. Show Gratitude and Acknowledge their Help. After you have gotten the help you need, circle back and let them know the impact of your help. It can be as little as an email,” I appreciate you taking the time to explain this concept to me, given how busy you are with…” When you mention what’s on their plate, they take notice. People also love hearing how their advice, when accepted, is helpful; they enjoy sharing information that makes a difference. It will increase the odds of them wanting to help again. If their help was more substantial, you could even give them a small thoughtful gift as a nice touch.
9. Be Available to Help. There will likely be a time when your coworker needs help solving a problem. Plan on doing something to help them whenever the opportunity arises. This contributes to goodwill, cements this help norm going forward, and creates a working environment centered around teamwork.
10. Avoid unhelpful Prefaces:
· Trapping people - “May I ask you a favor?” It’s almost like they have to say yes because if they say no without knowing the favor, they can come off as non-collaborative.
· Offering apologies - “I feel terrible asking you for this,” can make the experience seem less positive.
· Emphasize reciprocation – “I’ll help you if you help me”. It can also backfire because people prefer to avoid being indebted to anyone or to engage in a purely transactional exchange.
· Minimizing your need - “I don’t normally ask for help” or “It’s just a tiny thing”—is equally unproductive because it suggests the assistance is trivial or unnecessary.
Recognize that no one has all the answers, and that's perfectly okay. By tapping into the collective wisdom of your colleagues and mentors, you unlock a wealth of knowledge and insights that propel both individual and organizational success.
Quote of the day: "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." - Mahatma Gandhi
Question: Who is on your Board of Directors? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their communication, contact me to explore this topic further.
When do you know it’s time to ask for help?