self-awareness — BLOG — Next Levels Coaching

Developing self-awareness is essential for personal and professional growth. It involves understanding our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how they align with our values and goals. By enhancing self-awareness, we can make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and achieve greater success.

Let’s explore practical strategies to help on the journey of self-discovery and unlock your full potential.

1. Engage in self-assessment to increase awareness.

A. Inventory of strengths, non-strengths, values, and opportunities. Identify what you are good at and not good at. We sometimes do this work when preparing for an interview and find that it is helpful to get super clear, so making the space to answer these questions is important. You can take many assessments, such as Myers Briggs, The Big Five, or CliftonStrengths to gain deeper insights.

B. Create reflection time. Some make excuses that they have no time for reflection because they lead a busy life and may not view that as productive as firing off emails, but reflection time is a practice that sets the greats apart. Setting time aside to reflect to get better answering questions about yourself. What is going well and why, what can be going better, and why. How do you handle failures for you and your team. When it happens, how do you harvest the learnings? People who are confident in themselves wonder how they know if something works.

C. Ask the right questions of ourselves. Cultivate self-awareness by asking questions like, “What if I am wrong? What am I missing? What are five other viewpoints to consider? David Clutterbuck, Team Coach Expert likes to ask these four questions to increase self-awareness. How do I feel about the way that I think? How do I feel about the way that I feel? How do I think about the way that I feel? How do I think about the way that I think?

D. Answer your questions. If you have a question like, how do I know I am approachable? Aim to answer it by making a list of things you are doing to support the claim (I leave my office door open for others to enter when they need something, I ask if they have any questions in a meeting, I prompt them to respond to my email with any follow-ups, I participate in activities with my team such as going to their meetings and connection gatherings and then ask others the question. Then you can invite others about their perspective on your approachable and how you can improve. E.g., “I am working on being an approachable leader, how approachable do you think I am, what do I do now that supports my approachability, and what can I do to be even more approachable?”

If you are wondering how you are progressing toward your goals, such as if you are getting better at listening, you can take time to write out what success looks like and some metrics. In three months, you can evaluate how well you have done against your success definition and metrics. Be sure to collect data from yourself and others.

D. Compare yourself to your future self. Write a letter to yourself outlining what you want to improve. Open it in a few months to compare your progress. Marshall Goldsmith suggests thinking about what gifts your current self has given to your future self.

E. Learn. Whatever skill you are trying to improve, read about it, and observe others who excel. Identify effective behaviors and compare them to your own. Learn from those you admire and avoid the mistakes of those you don't.

2. Work with a coach.

Coaches help clients see through false notions and narratives to understand their present reality better and shape their future effectively. They can do that by using metaphors, stories, and synthesizing information to provide a fuller picture for the client. They also ask questions, such as why do you do what you do? Why do they believe what you believe, and how is it serving you now?

A. Perception management. Coaches help clients think about their current and ideal perceptions, and their impact. They assist in building their brand to manage these perceptions effectively.

B. Use of self-reflection assessments. Coaches provide frameworks and assessments for clients to evaluate their skills. For example, using key leadership traits from "The Leadership Challenge" to understand their strengths and areas for improvement.

C. Use of tools.

· Johari Window - A psychological tool created in 1955 by Joseph Harrington to help people improve self-awareness and understand relationship dynamics through 4 quadrants: open area, blind area, hidden area, and unknown area.

· Gaps Grid. Developed by David Peterson, Former Head of Executive Coaching at Google, it’s a 2x2 matrix that enhances insight and motivation by mapping goals and values, success factors, abilities, and perceptions.

3. Collect Informal feedback.

A. Ask for specific feedback. Seek feedback from trusted individuals in your inner circle such as your boss, peers, friends, mentors, and others about how you can improve specific aspects, like working relationships or leadership skills. Specific questions yield more actionable insights, such as what’s one thing you can suggest for improving my listening vs. giving me feedback.

3B. Anchor your feedback. Guide observers by informing them about the skills you are working on and asking for feedback on your progress. This helps them provide more focused and relevant feedback. Examples include - “I started working on a new set of skills that I want you to watch for or A month ago, was working on listening skills, what has been improved? It is helpful for you to guide the observation because they are still in the stew of what they are doing, and they are not seeing the wins. It’s kind of like when relatives you see once a year as a kid will point out how much you have grown and how different you are, and you don’t see it at all because day-to-day, not much is different.

4. Formal Feedback

A. Run an automated 360. Collect feedback from the people you work closely with at all levels, directs, peers, managers, customers, partners, and other stakeholders. You get to do a self-assessment based on leadership competencies and then they also get to weigh in, and you can evaluate the anonymous data and look for patterns. When I do this with clients, they are always surprised, either by how many great comments they have received, how others have overrated themselves in some areas, and how they did not realize they were falling short of the mark. It is an eye-opening experience.

B. Stakeholder interviews. Similar to a 360, but instead of being automated, a coach will run the process. They will conduct interviews with the stakeholders, ask questions, and then compile a report.

C. Create brief surveys. Liz Wiseman recommends asking about some accidental diminishing behaviors, which means that despite your best intentions, you may be having an adverse impact on others.

· What am I inadvertently doing that might be having a diminishing impact on others?

· How might my intentions be interpreted differently by others?

· What messages might my actions actually be conveying?

· What can I do differently?

Developing self-awareness is a continuous journey that significantly enhances personal and professional growth. By engaging in self-assessment, seeking feedback, and working with a coach, you can gain deeper insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Embrace these practices to unlock your full potential, make better decisions, and build stronger relationships.

Quotes of the day: "We learn who we are in practice not in theory." - Herminia Ibarra

Quote of the day: As you start to walk out of the way, the way appears – Rumi

Question: What practice do you engage in to raise your awareness? Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further.

In our previous article, we defined and explored the components of self-awareness. Now, let's zoom in on the challenges and benefits.

Challenges of Self-Awareness

1. Ignorance and discomfort. Plato’s Allegory of the Cave illustrates how ignorance can limit self-awareness and how knowledge leads to liberation. In the allegory, prisoners chained in a cave see only shadows projected on a wall, believing them to be reality. When one prisoner is freed, he struggles to take in this new understanding but eventually learns that the shadows are mere reflections of actual objects. Upon seeing the outside world, he grasps a deeper reality. When he returns to share this knowledge with the other prisoners, he is met with disbelief and hostility. This underscores the journey of self-awareness: breaking free from ignorance to understand deeper truths can be an enlightening experience. It can also be challenging because some truths we discover about ourselves can be so uncomfortable that we prefer ignorance as bliss.

2. Varied backgrounds. Our self-awareness varies significantly due to numerous factors: different generations, upbringing, income levels, values, job markets, incentives, and experiences. For instance, a person growing up in poverty thinks differently about risk and reward than a wealthy banker. John F. Kennedy admitted he could not fully understand the impact of the Depression era because he grew up rich. We've all experienced only a tiny sliver of the world, shaping our unique perspectives.

3. Dunning Kruger Effect. This cognitive bias occurs when people with low ability or knowledge in an area overestimate their competence. Identified by David Dunning and Justin Kruger in 1999, it happens because unskilled individuals fail to recognize their deficiencies, leading to inflated self-assessments. For example, an employee new to software may feel proficient after a brief introduction, assuming they're more competent than others who have used it longer. This overestimation can lead to mistakes and oversights.

4. Ego. An inaccurate self-view can hinder leadership growth. For instance, a leader I was working with had a Direct Report submit a self-assessment on his performance review and wrote “n/a” for what to improve. When pressed, my client suggested to the Direct the topic of delegation to achieve results through others, rather than doing it all himself. The Direct dismissed the feedback because he is so talented at getting his work done. His progress is hampered because he cannot scale by doing all the work himself, he has to get results through his team. To increase his awareness, the leader then provided a competency framework and clear expectations to get to the next level and help align his self-perception with reality.

5. Defensiveness. When receiving feedback, we might disagree, believing we’re better than assessed. For example, someone might think they’re a great listener despite feedback suggesting otherwise. In this case, asking for specific data points and providing evidence from peers, directs, and other stakeholders through anonymous 360 feedback is helpful. Seeing the negative impact can motivate change. Another form of defensiveness is dismissal. Some might say, "This is just how I am," or "I've been successful with these behaviors so far, why change?" Marshall Goldsmith says, "What got you here won’t get you there," highlighting that success often comes despite derailing tendencies, not because of them.

6. Lack of feedback. Many people lack self-awareness because they seldom receive feedback, especially negative. People avoid giving bad news or lack the skills to deliver it constructively. This issue is more pronounced for senior leaders, who receive less accurate self-assessments as they climb higher, mainly due to a shortage of honest feedback and being limited to what you might be able to share with others. One study showed a leader frequently interrupting others was unaware of it, illustrating the loneliness at the top, where they are often surrounded by yes-people.

Benefits of Self-Awareness

1. Reduces Stress & Regulates Emotions. Cognitive psychology shows that one of the most effective methods for reducing stress is to engage in self-reflection, viewing stress as a challenge rather than a threat. Self-disciplined contemplation of core values, goals, and principles can prevent or manage stress. Understanding one’s feelings and those of others is more important than IQ.

2. Greater performance, focus, and effectiveness. 83% of high performers are self-aware. Visionary leaders know what they want to achieve and how their actions affect others. Self-awareness allows us to focus on the right opportunities and keep emotions from holding us back.

3. Stronger leadership. Tasha Eurich’s book "Insight" found that internal self-awareness is critical for successful leaders. They know their strengths, weaknesses, needs, goals, and how they come across. This is in contrast to clueless leaders who tend to be ineffective. Great leaders continuously ask questions to diagnose their needs and goals and wonder what blind spots they may have. Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

4. Enhances Authenticity. Nancy McKinstry, CEO of Wolters Kluwer said, “You can’t be authentic if you are not self-aware. How can you be transparent and open, talk about your goals, or share how you influence change without self-awareness?” It enables transparency, openness, and the ability to influence change.

5. Increases humility. Self-aware individuals know what they are good at and what they are not. Even confident individuals can acknowledge their ignorance in certain areas, fostering curiosity and humility. Steve Jobs, for example, was aware of his limitations and welcomed disagreements. He held strong convictions but was willing to change his mind when presented with better information. Ed Catmull shared a story about Jobs, who wanted Apple to make the iPad before the iPhone. However, his team convinced him otherwise, and he agreed. He insisted that Apple provide the app despite his team’s disagreement. When the iPhone launched, Jobs quickly realized his team was right and changed his mind, demonstrating his ability to adapt and embrace humility.

Developing self-awareness is crucial for overcoming personal and professional challenges. It allows us to break free from ignorance, understand our unique backgrounds, manage cognitive biases, and receive constructive feedback. By fostering self-awareness, we can reduce stress, improve performance, enhance leadership, and cultivate authenticity and humility. Embrace these practices to unlock your full potential and achieve greater success

Quote of the day: “If we think of this existence of the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and down.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Question: What do you see as the biggest challenges of self-awareness? When is ignorance bliss, or is it not? Comment and share your experiences below; we’d love to hear.

The next blog in this series 3/3 will focus on ways to develop your self-awareness.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to raise their awareness to increase their performance, contact me to explore this topic further