The Subtle Art Of Masterful Delegation (Delegation Series 2/4)

So, you have just made the all-important decision to remove something from your plate and assign it to your team.  Reviewing these steps can make a difference between a successful and rewarding endeavor versus a disastrous outcome. 

Here are some necessary actions to consider in the delegation process:

1. Plan. It is essential to think through what has to be done. Many problems in management deal with taking action without thinking and preparing. The old saying, “A stitch in time saves nine” is echoed by Brian Tracy as he maintains that every minute spent in planning saves 10-12 minutes in execution.  A good start is to write out the goals, objectives, results, standards, deadlines, and a general checklist.

A second step can be to do some of the initial planning work yourself because you will have a much better idea of what the job entails before you pass it off to the next person. If it is the situation where you have been given this task from your boss but only been given partial information yourself, do the best with what you have and be clear with your direct report about the limited information you are working with so you can combine forces and fill in the gaps. The key is to spend some time on the WHAT it is that needs to be done and the vision of success, while offering flexibility in the HOW or the approach to the work. Invite your direct report to create a first draft plan of their approach to ensure you are on the same page in how you are thinking about the work before dedicating massive execution hours.

2. Choose the right person.  Ask yourself, does this person have the ability, readiness/attitude, and time to get the job done.  Have they demonstrated competence in previous projects? Do they have the motivation to learn? Believe it or not, busy people can sometimes be the best choice.  Tracy Dumas, Associate Professor of Management and Human Resources ran a study that showed that people were more productive and focused when they had a lot on their plates.  We tend to respect the limited time we have and make careful choices in how we spend our precious moments.  It is good to tell your team member why you chose him/her specifically, and how you hope to help him/her grow in this opportunity to take on more responsibilities. Will they benefit by doing these budget reports because they will have a greater understanding of how other departments work and can practice presenting dry data in an interesting way? Do not force a wrong fit, if the job is simply well beyond their scope and they do not have the right attitude and skill to approach it, the outcome will likely be disastrous. You can ask them how eager they are to take it on so you can also gauge fit.  People may be highly capable, but if they abhor the task, they may drag their feet in meeting deliverables.

3. Be crystal clear in goals, objectives, results, and standards as you co-create success.

A. Share your goals and objectives. Describe the job to be done (goals), the objectives to measure progress, and the date you need the work completed.  When people know exactly what is expected of them, their productivity increases and their self-esteem grows. In contrast, with ineffective, fuzzy, or vague delegation, it can cause confusion that can lead to poor performance and irritability where they are spending more time doing other activities and less time producing the work that needs to be done. While it may be the case that the job to be done is brand new territory that both of you are exploring, you can still be on the same page on the general direction you are headed, and then make adjustments as your destination nears.  It is like embarking on a road trip out of NY and heading towards California, sure you may not know if you will end up in San Diego or LA or even detour to Austin, but having that general spot in mind will still provide a lot of early momentum and greater clarity as you cruise. When you take action and gain more insights, you can steer in a more precise direction.

B. Determine your key results and set standards. The hallmark of a successful manager is an intense results-oriented approach. While people can be spending a lot of time doing work, it should not be confused with getting results.  As the Pareto Principle goes, 80% of the value people produce will come from 20% of the activity they do.  “The very worse use of time is to do very well what need not be done at all,” says Management Consultant Ben Trigo. Sure, it is possible that employees can learn much about increasing the customer experience, but if their efforts do not manifest into the goal of achieving a 5% increase in satisfaction, it is considered unsuccessful.  Additionally, having a shared understanding of standards of excellence is essential because you could have two different ideas on how an outcome may look.  To avoid confusion, you can paint your picture of success with as much vivid imagery as you can so you both know what needs to be done.

C. Co-create success.  As you are discussing the above criteria, it should be a two-way street. The direct reports should be weighing in on the process and timelines.  Managers should invite them to ask questions, share concerns, and make suggestions. Towards the end of the meeting, have the person repeat back the assignment because there is a chance that they may have either missed part of the discussion or simply misunderstood.  Now is the time to catch the error.  See yourself as a teacher, be patient, and field questions.  It is during this process where you might be able to uncover where the employee is uncomfortable and what resources can be used for support.

4. Utilize these helpful management techniques:

A. Set check-ins. During this time, you can provide guidance on the project and regularly evaluate and compare the results agreed upon.  If they did not complete a task, you could drop them an email to ask how it is going, instead of taking an accusatory approach, e.g., “you were supposed to have that report already.”

What is the frequency of the check-in? It is better to have more early on to make sure the project starts successfully and then once you are completely aligned, fewer check-ins are necessary. Will the check-ins be in person or through email? Does the direct report know they should initiate the email? Are there key questions you want to be answered, such as what progress have you made since the last check-in, what roadblocks have you encountered, and how can I support you? When you discuss the check-in process upfront, it does not seem like you are overbearing and that you are checking up on the person, but that you are putting in a loose structure that will allow you to connect intentionally and keep the project on track.

As a leader, it can be helpful to adjust your cadence for check-in based on a couple of factors. The first variable relates to your team members’ level of experience and track record of success. If you have a seasoned member that has successfully done this kind of work before, you may opt for less frequent check-ins. On the other hand, if you have a team member who has never done something like this before, you might want to explain your rationale for more frequent check-ins, such as “I know this is new for you so I may check in more regularly than I normally would so I can offer the necessary supports and help you be set up for success, how does that work for you?” Another factor relates to the visibility of the project. If it is just an internal assignment with limited risk, you may dial down your check-ins. However, if the project suddenly has the eyes of senior leadership and is deemed highly important, you may want to dial up the check-ins. Be sure to explain your thinking to your team member, something like, “this has grabbed the attention of the senior leaders, I may increase my check-ins to help make this a success. You can also adjust as you go, if great progress is being made, you can let them know that you will decrease the check-in because they are fully driving the project and you have faith in their decisions.

B. Establish a Disaster Plan. Nobody likes to think about a project failing, but we can better guard against it when we do. What’s your plan if something goes wrong? Say a client changes the requirements at the last minute, or a timeline gets dramatically moved, or your key players helping you with the project are out sick for some time; how will you handle the work then? You do not have to have all the answers at this point, but it is helpful to start that dialogue. Your tendency as a leader may be to jump in and rescue, but you want to think about how you will help that team member develop the capacity to handle the complexity themselves and enlist your support if needed.

C. Provide feedback and encouragement. It is important to give regular feedback. Be sure to notice the good work they have been doing and share your appreciation. Practice positive, authentic expectations – “I know you will do a great job,” “I have complete confidence in you.” “I really like the way you handled that potential problem by consulting Dan, you show great initiative.” You can also offer public praise in your meetings by mentioning the successful milestones the person is completing.

D. Empower autonomy and problem-solving.  Give people the freedom to accomplish the job as they will be judged on their results and not a fixed way of getting them. If they run into a problem,  encourage them to try and solve it so they can learn, make mistakes, and figure out how to correct them.  It is helpful to get them thinking about what resources they have at their disposal to explore before coming to you? If they are evaluating three options, have them prepare a “recommendation report” where they lay out the pros and cons of each option, their recommendation, and their rationale for their choice. This approach will help them with problem-solving skills in gaining clarity, being resourceful, and presenting their options concisely.

E. Reflect. Afterward, take time to individually review and assess the outcome so you too can learn from your mistakes. Ask yourself how you can tweak your approach for next time. Can you delegate more involved tasks? Should you give them more freedom? Do you need to monitor progress more closely? You can ask the direct report for feedback as well, such as “what part of the delegation process was most helpful? What would be something I do differently to better support you?”

If the job went well, give ample public recognition and praise because when it is broadcasted in front of their peers, it has twice the motivational power.  Remember to be patient with yourself while you practice the skill of delegation.  You are going from the mindset of doing everything yourself to letting other people learn and while it may be bumpy at first, the payoff can be massive.

If you are feeling overworked and also know that there is more your team can be doing, it is the perfect time to delegate more!  By taking the proper steps of planning, choosing the right people, and co-creating objectives and results, you will experience greater collective success and not only ready yourself for more responsibilities but fulfill your most important role as a manager which is to grow the abilities of others.

Quote of the day: “When you delegate tasks, you create followers. When you delegate authority, you create leaders.”Craig Groeschel, founder of Life Church

Q: What works best for you when you decide to delegate? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on 5 common delegation misconceptions.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to help them delegate more effectively, contact me to explore this topic further.

Delegation requires trust

Delegation requires trust

You Survived A Difficult Conversation, What’s Next? (Difficult Conversations Series 4/4)

Planning to have a difficult conversation can be all-consuming that we usually do not think about the aftermath, and what’s needed to maintain the relationship and minimize the potential awkwardness.

Here are some steps you can take following a difficult conversation:

1. Acknowledge the conversation. When you see your coworker, you can say, “I really appreciated the way we handled that tough talk yesterday and am looking forward to working more powerfully with you!”  You can even check in with the other person. “Just wanted to see how you were feeling about our exchange yesterday?”  “Your relationship is important to me and I am happy we had that talk.”

2. Focus on the positive. You can try this, “I love the way we came together to identify a touchy issue.”  You can thank them for engaging in the talk so they feel valued and appreciated.

3. Progress the conversation. Send a follow-up email to summarize the discussion and focus on the outcome that you want.  Clear next steps create significant momentum.  Also, having a written record tracks any differences in memory, perspective, and understanding and can also prioritize accuracy when new information comes to light. 

4. Focus on building the long-term relationship.  Pay attention to building a relationship outside the challenging conversation. What other topics can you explore together that will unearth new commonalities in which to solidify your bond?  The executive decisions that went into season 8 of Game of Thrones is always a scintillating topic guaranteed to yield great discussions.

5. Do it again if necessary. Upon reflection, if you feel like you have something new to share, do not wait to broach the topic. There is no harm in going back and saying something like “I feel I did not get the chance to really explain my point of view. Do you have some time so I can articulate it better?” Of course, that will probably lead to a reply, and thus to a new awkward conversation, but since you have the experience so that will not be a problem anymore.

In every relationship, there is the potential to encounter a massive challenge that can either solidify or break the bond. Choosing to communicate effectively and taking the necessary relationship-building steps after the difficult conversation can go a long way in reaching the next level in your interactions.

Quote of the day:The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”  -Dorothy Nevill

Q: What is one thing you did after a tough conversation to restore your relationship?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

The aftermath of a conversation

The aftermath of a conversation

The DOs and DON’Ts of Effective Communication (Difficult Conversations Series 3/4)

Communication is a delicate art because there is a balance between expressing yourself effectively and sharing how you fully feel, while also not offending the other person and turning them away.  When deep understanding happens, it is a beautiful thing.  Even when there is no agreement, as long as there is shared meaning and mutual respect, it is quite a good feeling.

Here are some common things to avoid, which will help to promote a healthy exchange:

1. Do not wait too long. If we avoid the conversation for so long, our frustration can accumulate. Unexpressed feelings tend to fester and can reappear in the discussion in nasty and subtle ways.  It can also be hard for us to listen to the other side properly until we have said our peace. You may find yourself in a situation where you speak out against your boss on an agenda item that is not really so much about that issue, but more about the anger you are harboring for the past several months because you have been passed over for a promotion and don’t know why.

2. Avoid name-calling, blaming, and comparing. Saying somebody is a jerk is not helpful and when you choose to attack the person rather than stick to the ideas, it is a visible sign of an unhealthy exchange.  Saying somebody should be more like this person puts them down and makes them feel bad, which is not accomplishing anything.  If things heat up to an uncomfortable note, you can step away and resume at a later date so the distance can create more perspective.

3. Avoid extreme language. When you say, “you always” or “you never,” it raises their defensive walls and entrenches the characteristic to be more of a personality trait instead of a symptom of their action. A better option is to use safe language, such as, “when this happens, this is how it makes me feel.”

4. Do not judge. By saying, “that is wrong,” you are implying a moral judgment.  Instead, Author Marshall Rosenberg, the author of Nonviolent Communications, suggests that offering an observation is more powerful.  If somebody cuts you off when you are speaking, you should not say, “you are rude” because it is laced with judgment, instead, you can say, “when you interrupt me, it is hard for me to get my point across,” or “when you interrupt me, I feel as if you do not want to hear my thoughts.”

5. Do not assume. It is so common to come to a conversation with a story in your mind. My teammate does not care about my project because he/she does not attend meetings. My boss does not care about my career because he/she has not given me a promotion yet. It is also common to assume we know the other person’s intentions based on our feelings.  If we are hurt, we think they hurt us on purpose. Impact does not equal intent. But when we take an approach with a conclusion set in our mind, we leave little room for dialogue and understanding to occur.  To have a productive conversation, be open to the fact that you may not know the whole story. 

6. Do not apologize for your feelings. By saying, “I feel so bad about sharing this or this is really hard for me to do,” you can take away the focus from the problem and towards your neediness.  

Here are some helpful reminders of what you can do in a conversation to yield the best results:

1. Prepare. Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions: What is your purpose for having the conversation? What would be an ideal outcome?  The best outcome is when it is a positive and productive one, such as to forge a better working relationship.  If the purpose is to demonstrate your superiority, such as, I’m going to tell this person how this should be done (because you are stroking your ego and not genuinely wanting to help the other person), you may want to choose a more useful purpose.

2. Check your insecurities first.  Examine the root cause of the frustration, perhaps it has more to do with you and less about the other person.  Maybe you notice that somebody is speaking up in a meeting and taking all the attention.  Is it really about other people not getting a chance to contribute or does it pertain more to your inability to hold a room the way that person can and the way you want to?  Think about what “buttons” of yours are being pushed?  Are you blowing the situation out of proportion?  Is a personal history of yours being triggered?  You can still have the conversation but you need to be honest about what baggage you are carrying that may not be productive. Aim to have an honest conversation with yourself first.

3. Be direct. When having a difficult conversation, be straightforward and get to the point. While it might seem like you are being too harsh diving right into the constructive critique, you are doing the other person a favor. Most of the time, the person you are talking to knows that a potentially challenging comment is coming, so rather than dancing around the subject, just get to it. When you are muddled in your delivery, it can prolong and even prevent a solution. 

4. Say AND not BUT. When the first half of your comments agree with the other person and then you use the word “but” as your transition, you lessen the value of everything that came before.  Instead, you can disagree by using the word AND because somebody does not have to be wrong for you to be right.  Two things can be happening at the same time.  For example, “I know you care about the team and feel overworked which is why you do not respond to emails frequently…” 

5. Be present. Sounds easy but we do not always do it because our attention often gets hijacked.  Research shows that our mind wonders 50% of the time, and when you add the dozens of texts and emails we receive, our focus gets that much harder.  Multitasking screams disrespect.  Instead, show them that you are actively listening by doing small things like making eye-contact and paraphrasing what they have said as it demonstrates your take on the situation and allows the person to correct the record and feel heard.

A conversation can be a delicate dance between offering, hearing, and mutually exploring. For the most effective and satisfying conversations, it may be helpful to avoid tactics such as namecalling and judging, while embracing more productive ones such as preparing and being aware of our own assumptions.

Quote of the day: “Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.”  -Margaret Wheatley

Q: What other suggestions can you add to enhance a conversation?  Comment and share with us, we would love to hear.

The next blog in this series 4/4 will focus on the aftermath of a difficult conversation.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

Let’s talk

Let’s talk

Your Conversation Just Took A Downturn, Now What? (Difficult Conversations Series 2/4)

So, you have taken all the necessary precautions to have a conversation that you have long put off.  Just when you think that all your preparation is paying off, the conversation spirals out of control and it is devolving into unhealthy discourse.  Usually, it is when a person feels unsafe that they may resort to unproductive methods such as withholding information or forcing their ideas.  Rest assured, all hope is not lost.  If you determine that the person you are speaking to is reasonable, rational, and decent, there are a few things you can do to get it back on track. And if you determine the person is illogical or unreasonable, well, you can always run away.

It is helpful to spot these unproductive tactics that one can use in a conversation:

1. Use of violence. Author Kerry Patterson defines violence as “any verbal strategy that attempts to convince, compel, and control others to your point of view.” When you dominate the conversation, cut people off, overstate your opinions, or make demands, such as “you have to do this,” it is quite harmful.  These tactics violate the safe exchange of ideas because it is aiming to force meaning into the shared pool of understanding and prevents the other person from openly contributing; hence, a mutual agreement cannot be reached. Similarly, trying to get your way at any means necessary by name-calling, manipulating, or acting like you are the only one who has dignity is counterproductive.

2. Use of Silence. This is when a person decides to withhold information, mask their true meaning or withdraw from the conversation. A meeting of the minds cannot be reached if only one side is sharing.

3. Fixation on blame. Maybe you notice that the other person is trying to chronicle all the times when you were at fault and to blame.  It is one thing to cite previous examples to illustrate your point briefly, but it becomes fruitless when the person is hooked on the past and not interested in moving the dialogue forward.

4. Wanting the other person to be a mind reader. You can think to yourself, I just told the person I was overworked, that should have been a clear signal that they should not give me more work. It would be wonderful if we could all pick up on clues, but it is even more incredible when we can say what you mean, instead of dropping a hint and hoping they pick up on it. Being crystal clear is kind.

5. Track switching. This is what occurs when two people are not on the same page so they are talking past each other. You may broach the topic of lateness and the other person ignores it and brings up your inability to respond to emails in a timely manner. Now, there are two topics on the table, so it is essential to tackle them one at a time or progress will not be made.

When disruptive tactics are employed, here are some helpful techniques to make progress:

1. Label the behavior.  If the person is continually interrupting, say so, because it brings the issue to the forefront and raises it as a point of discussion.  They may not be aware that they are behaving in this manner and it is only when you name the dynamic that you notice, which could prompt them to stop.  Here are some examples…

·      If they go off track, you may say, “I see that when I am trying to hash out this issue, we keep returning to this other aspect.  How would you feel about finishing this one topic before moving on to another?”

·      “I notice when I try and share my view, you interrupt me and I cannot complete my thought.  Do you think we can speak in briefer time frames so we can finish our thoughts and hear the other person?”

·      “It seems like there is a real focus on blaming me.  It is not okay to only look at my contribution, but it is necessary to look at both sides of the issue.”

2. Prime. If the person is intent on being silent, it could be useful to keep the conversation going by encouraging them back into the talk by suggesting something you think they are feeling or pondering. When you prime or guess what they are thinking, it allows them an opportunity to respond.

·      You can say, “Are you thinking that the only way to do this is to …?”

3. Contrast. When you see the conversation going in an unhappy direction, you can use a contrast statement, which is a simple sharing of what you do not want to happen followed by what you want.  This will address the other person’s concerns and clarify the real purpose. Examples: 

·      “I do not want you to think that I am dissatisfied with your work, instead I value punctuality and want to work on that.”

·      “I know this is difficult and I do not want to upset you, rather, I want to partner in a more empowering way so we can be happy.”

4. Return to the common goal. If the conversation becomes heated, you can take a step back and remind each other that you are not enemies, but in fact on the same side.  Focus on the common goal you share.  For example:

·      You could say, “We both want this project to go well so we can get our bonuses and be proud of our work.”

·      “I do not want to argue, I want to find a way where both of us can get what we want.”

·      “I know we both genuinely care about making this client happy.”

5. Focus on problem-solving and the future. Maybe your coworker keeps returning to something that happened in the past and every time you shift the conversation forward, he/she rewinds.  You can focus on what you want to bring about, what you want to see, not what you have already seen. Here are examples:

·      “If we put our heads together, we can probably come up with a way to move past this.  Do you have any ideas?”

·      “The goal of this conversation is to work together more powerfully, what is the best way you think this can happen?”

·      “Clearly, you think this is unfair, so how can we fix this?”

To have a fruitful conversation, we need to do everything in our power to do our part in contributing to a positive outcome.  Using some of these techniques can go a long way in creating breakthrough understandings and deepening relationships to be more meaningful.   At the end of the day, if it does not work out as planned, it will not be because of a lack of conversational intelligence or effort on your part.

Quote of the day: “In conversation avoid the extremes of forwardness and reserve.” – John Byrom

Q: How has your communication style changed from when you were a kid?  Which technique did you unknowing use then, how about now?  Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!

The next blogin this series 3/4 will focus on the DOs & DON’Ts of effective communication.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

 

Avoid ineffective communication

Avoid ineffective communication

How To Have Difficult But Caring Conversations (Difficult Conversations Series 1/4)

Most people dread the difficult, challenging conversation that needs to happen. This could include giving unpleasant feedback, following up with your boss about a raise she/he said would happen, but has not, or confronting a teammate about their problematic performance and work habits.  If these situations are not handled with great care, it could not only explode in your face but also make the other person feel like their very competency and sense of worth are called into question.

It is natural to want to avoid these conversations because of the potential for things to go wrong. On the flip side, having the conversation can deliver a great sense of relief from the trepidation that fills our mind.  When we are constantly thinking about these delicate and intense exchanges, stress and negativity can consume our thoughts and distract us from our most important work. Instead of avoiding these moments, learning how to tackle them head-on can be one of the best ways to reduce your anxiety and even advance your career.

In his landmark book, Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson et al. defines a crucial conversation as a critical conversation when stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong so thought and care are required for the exchange.

If you plan on confronting somebody with an issue, here are some steps you can take to make it go as smoothly as possible:

1. Make an appointment.  Let the person know the nature of the talk so they can adequately prepare and not be thrown off and perhaps instinctually defensive.  A right moment for you does not mean the timing works for them as well.

2. Share your goal. It is critical to articulate your desired outcome.  Do you want to share how a comment that was made in a meeting impacted you? Maybe an ideal result could be to have that person stop speaking for you. Perhaps you noticed that the relationship had been soured and your goal is to return it to the way things used to be?  Clueing the other person in on your intention would ease their natural defense mechanism and you may even discover that you have a common goal in getting the project completed on time and doing an amazing job, even if you have different visions on how to get there.

The next few suggestions come from a model used in Crucial Conversations called STATE – State the facts, Tell the story, Ask for their perspective, Talk tentatively, and Encourage testing. 

3. State the facts. When you recount the specific things that happened, it lays the groundwork for all delicate situations because they see what went into you forming your conclusions.   For example:

·      When you do not show up for team meetings, do not deliver work on time, and do not share your opinions…

·      When I fail to get a payment from you for several weeks, and you do not respond to my emails…

4. Tell your story. These are the facts plus the conclusion. Once you have shared the facts, let them know how you arrived at your findings so they can fully understand your thought process. For example:

·      When you do not show up for team meetings, do not deliver work on time, and do not share your opinions… it seems as if you do not care about this project or are not putting in the same efforts as your teammates.

·      When I fail to get a payment from you for several weeks and you do not respond to my emails, I worry that you will never pay me.

5. Ask for their story. It is vital to get their take on the story so you have the full picture.  Do not assume you already know it so encourage them to share and listen thoroughly to what they have to say.  If true understanding is to happen and a resolution is to be reached, communication has to be a two-way street. Examples:

·      I’m probably not seeing the whole story, can you help me see what is going on or happening on your end?

·      I’m starting to think you may not care about this team, do you have another explanation? What am I missing?

When the other person is sharing, it is vital to listen with curiosity because valuable insight will be shared for you to navigate the conversation better and build a connection for greater understanding to take place.  When you can stand in their shoes and see their perspectives, you have a better chance of reaching an agreement and satisfying all needs.

6. Co-create success. It is always a good idea to engage your colleague in a problem-solving exercise to make the exchange more collaborative versus combative. Examples:

·      I hear you saying you are okay with this approach, but it looks as if maybe you still have some concerns, is that right, should we talk through them?

·      What outcomes are essential to both of us?  What constraints do we both have that we need to be aware of?  What is important to each of us that the other might not be aware of?

·      I hear you are concerned with getting certain people to leave this team to complete the project.  If we can get the right people, what can the campaign look like?

7. End with a thank you. These two words work in almost any situation, it creates closure in a difficult conversation.

The two other parts to Patterson’s STATE acronym include:

·      Talk tentatively. When you are convinced of the information and act in a forceful, dogmatic manner, you can invite unnecessary resistance.  In contrast, when you are tentative and more open in your approach, you can comfortably include the other person into the dialogue.  Examples can include: “This is my opinion…,” or “I’m thinking out loud here….”

·      Encourage testing. This approach is a way to draw out more of their response if you feel they are not sharing fully. Example: I’d like to take a stab at something here, I wonder if part of the reason why you do not submit your work on time is because you do not feel connected to the team or are not challenged by the work?

An effective conversation does not just include pure content, it is also about the way the information is presented and the intention to reconcile the difference in a caring and fair way.  The best approach to a satisfying outcome is to get as much information as you can so understanding can occur.  Indeed, a difficult conversation can be an opportunity for connection.

Question to consider: What is a constructive approach you have taken to handle a challenging conversation? We would love to hear your thoughts!

Quote of the day: “One good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.” –Linda Lambert

The next blog in this series 2/4 will focus on what happens when your difficult conversation detours.

As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.

We need to talk…

We need to talk…