Planning to have a difficult conversation can be all-consuming that we usually do not think about the aftermath, and what’s needed to maintain the relationship and minimize the potential awkwardness.
Here are some steps you can take following a difficult conversation:
1. Acknowledge the conversation. When you see your coworker, you can say, “I really appreciated the way we handled that tough talk yesterday and am looking forward to working more powerfully with you!” You can even check in with the other person. “Just wanted to see how you were feeling about our exchange yesterday?” “Your relationship is important to me and I am happy we had that talk.”
2. Focus on the positive. You can try this, “I love the way we came together to identify a touchy issue.” You can thank them for engaging in the talk so they feel valued and appreciated.
3. Progress the conversation. Send a follow-up email to summarize the discussion and focus on the outcome that you want. Clear next steps create significant momentum. Also, having a written record tracks any differences in memory, perspective, and understanding and can also prioritize accuracy when new information comes to light.
4. Focus on building the long-term relationship. Pay attention to building a relationship outside the challenging conversation. What other topics can you explore together that will unearth new commonalities in which to solidify your bond? The executive decisions that went into season 8 of Game of Thrones is always a scintillating topic guaranteed to yield great discussions.
5. Do it again if necessary. Upon reflection, if you feel like you have something new to share, do not wait to broach the topic. There is no harm in going back and saying something like “I feel I did not get the chance to really explain my point of view. Do you have some time so I can articulate it better?” Of course, that will probably lead to a reply, and thus to a new awkward conversation, but since you have the experience so that will not be a problem anymore.
In every relationship, there is the potential to encounter a massive challenge that can either solidify or break the bond. Choosing to communicate effectively and taking the necessary relationship-building steps after the difficult conversation can go a long way in reaching the next level in your interactions.
Quote of the day: “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” -Dorothy Nevill
Q: What is one thing you did after a tough conversation to restore your relationship? Comment and share with us, we would love to hear from you!
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to have courageous conversations, contact me to explore this topic further.
The aftermath of a conversation