In the previous blog, we navigated the intricate landscape of influence – uncovering the preparatory steps to set the stage for effective persuasion. This article will focus on what comes after the groundwork is already laid.
Let’s jump into some refined strategies for influencing:
1. Adapt your approach depending on the audience. Influence is not a one-size-fits-all; tailor your style to match the audience, and if you are unsure, ask others their preferred style.
· When you are trying to work cross-functionally and need to win the support of a peer you may want to opt for a bridging approach, which is all about building coalitions sometimes by making concessions to reach outcomes that satisfy your greater interest.
· If you are in crisis and people are relying on you to be decisive, you may want to use an asserting approach where you insist on the importance of your idea, making the call to run a pilot and revisit later.
· If you are dealing with a leader who heavily relies on logic, like a CFO, you may want to use a convincing approach based on logic, data, and expertise.
2. Ask and enroll rather than tell. Instead of presenting solutions immediately, ask open-ended questions to understand others’ challenges and perspectives and learn best about root causes. Some questions include: What’s really going on here, how long has it been going on, what have you tried, why didn’t it work, what will be different, etc. So many times, people will say, I need training on X, but it turns out that it would only treat the symptom because they really need Y. Dive deep to uncover the source and comprehensively understand their needs.
Avoid dictating solutions; rather, involve others in the process. Right before the pandemic, an Executive client of mine told me that he presented to senior leaders a body of evidence that people who can work out of the office part-time tend to be happier, more productive, and will likely stay so he wanted to run a remote Friday experiment. Immediately, the other leaders responded with reasons why they could not do that, and it was because he came in sounding like a preacher who saw the light and had the answers to a complex problem. A better approach is to share an observation (“I am interested in the movement for growing flexibility at work”), and ask questions for engagement (“What do you see in your teams and organizations?” “What are some upsides and downsides?” “How could we design an experiment to combine the good and eliminate the bad and see if we can get similar results?”). This approach can be more collaborative and appealing and get buy-in.
3. Define the Win and Find Alignment. It is one thing to say what you want and another thing to say what the win looks like and why it is important now. Additionally, it is crucial to align your initiative with the other person’s goals and demonstrate how it benefits all parties. In The Go Giver, one of the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success is a law on influence, which is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first. Adam Grant in Give and Take supports this idea and offers advice to appeal to their nobler motives, such as, “we all want to move forward and head to this deadline for these stakeholders. Let’s spend our time today figuring out what’s not working and think about the big picture.”
You can use the Triangle framework (win-win-win). As a result of this initiative, how does the company, the other team, and your team win? You can also think about what happens if this does not get done. What’s the cost to the three entities?
4. Speak in “We,” not “I.” Use inclusive language to convey a sense of collaboration rather than a zero-sum mentality.
5. Frame the Discussion. Control the narrative by steering the conversation in the desired direction. Set the perspective and context to guide the audience’s understanding.
6. Provide Evidence. Leverage social proof and data to support your ideas. Highlighting others' shared options and providing specific testimonials builds credibility. For example, we surveyed 1,000 of our most loyal customers, and here is what they told us. You can point to key leaders in the organization who have a lot of credibility and share how they also loved the idea when you shared it with them. If others know that person is excited about an idea, they will be more likely to listen to it.
Additionally, sharing data is essential. If you ran some A/B testing and have data that supports one approach over another, offer that information. Introducing data points from external companies regarding what is happening in the industry is always helpful. One of my clients had to make a difficult decision about layoffs, and when she looked around the industry, she realized that 15% was the norm, so her suggestion of 10% was below average, making her influencing attempts easier.
7. Tell a good story. When you can recast your arguments in an engaging story that touches people’s emotional and logical sides, they will receive your information even more.
8. Surface disagreements. If you experience resistance, identify disagreements to find a way forward. There will always be people with different opinions who see things differently and that’s ok. You can state the disagreement and ask a few questions to uncover the root of the disagreement. For example, you can inquire:
· What are we optimizing for? (The goal should be aligned rather than having two different goals).
· Are we focused on solving for different target audiences (you are designing for power users and I am for the causal user).
· What are our working assumptions and what goes into forming them? (you may be operating from two fundamentally different assumptions).
At the end of the day, influencing is not about getting what you want or manipulating; it is about finding those win-win opportunities for all to benefit. You want to be proud of the way you influence because you did it with kindness, respect, authenticity, and integrity.
Quote of the day: “Smiling unknowingly influences how other people will respond to you.” -Liam Jackson
How do you influence successfully? What do you find hard about it? Comment and share with us; we would love to hear!
The next blog in this series 3/4 will focus on a specific model of influence.
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to sharpen their influencing skills for win-win opportunities, contact me to explore this topic further.
What’s your way of bringing others along?