Having an accountability conversation to let somebody know where they stand is essential for an excellent culture. It should not just happen in one conversation where all your stored information comes out at once, but it should be communicated through multiple interactions. And, as the recipient, while it may not feel good at the time, it is a gift to have that valuable information to know exactly where your performance stands.
Here are some steps to consider when thinking about an accountability conversation:
1. Check in with yourself. When a work issue is causing you stress, a typical first instinct is to point outward and blame others. But if you want to have a productive conversation with someone who appears not to get it, first consider if you may be contributing to the problem (even unintentionally). Instead of asking, “Why aren’t they doing your part,” you can ask a series of questions to look internally first, such as “Is there anything I can do differently to help? Have I been clear about my expectations? Have I asked what I can do to help? Have I taken time to brainstorm and review processes? Have I built an accountability plan with them?” Self-awareness is a leadership superpower and reflecting on this may help you recognize any unhelpful patterns.
2. Use the Accountability Dial. Author Jonathan Raymond offers the accountability dial as a helpful framework to keep others accountable. There are five steps: mention, invitation, conversation, boundary, and limit.
A. Mention. A brief comment or piece of feedback that you noticed that you want to check in and get more information. It can be something that might be counterproductive. For example, “I noticed that the proposal that went out today had aspects that were a little unclear. If I was the customer, I think they would have had a hard time figuring out what we meant based on our previous meeting.” The mention can also be empowering – I loved how you kept that meeting on track; I know how distracting it was to keep pace with the conversation going on in the chatbox or off to the side. It is best to mention right after the event and not wait for the quarterly or yearly meeting. The mention is about offering a piece of data you notice that is either helpful or hurtful to the person to have timely feedback so they know what to do more of or what to do less of.
B. Invitation. This is about asking the person to connect a few mentions and get their take to put things into context and learn about that fuller picture. Three different isolated mentions on the same topic can help them see a pattern. For example, if your team member is constantly missing deadlines, you could begin by saying, “I’ve noticed that you seem to need a little more time to get the work done lately (or insert another behavior). What’s the pattern here?” They may not have been aware that they have been late in different aspects of the project; let them make that connection and give any additional context that can get at the root challenge. To test to see if there is alignment on expectations, you can have them provide a self-assessment of what quality of work would look like and what standards would need to be met.
C. Conversation. It is a one-on-one discussion to learn even more about what’s going on. You brought information to their attention in your mentions, and in the invitation, you welcomed them to think about their behavior in the big picture. The goal of a conversation is to listen, remain genuinely open to their take on things, and restore the work instead of casting blame. It helps to assume positive intent and come from a place of curiosity and support and not a mindset of hostility where there are unhelpful and untrue assumptions being tossed around. You can start with any of the following:
· The expectation was X and Y was delivered, what is behind this misalignment?
· There is a conclusion I have drawn based on your behavior, but I know I only have a snapshot and that there is crucial information I may be missing, so would love to learn more from you.
· Your performance fell short of the goals we set together. I would love to know the barriers that got in the way and what we can do differently going forward.
· Help me understand the disconnect of where we set the goals and where we fell short so we can do things better next time.
You may discover that they are not “lazy,” “incapable,” or “unreliable,” but rather, that they are unclear on organizational goals, and therefore, are not properly prioritizing projects. You may discover that they need more feedback to do their best or that other obstacles hold them back. In Crucial Accountability, Kerry Patterson et al note that 70% of project managers admitted that they would be late because deadlines were initially unrealistic. While none of these factors entirely excuse a broken commitment, lack of initiative, or follow-through, acknowledging what they have said, understanding the underlying issues, and noting where they are coming from can give you a clear idea about how to move forward, even if it means you disagree. This is an excellent opportunity for you to be supportive and offer positive reinforcement.
If you do not learn anything valuable and they are just slacking for some reason, you need to deliver the truth. Talk about how their behavior is impacting the company. You may say, “I know you do not intend to take the team sideways, but when you do not return emails on time that have action items in them, it makes life harder for the rest of the team and more difficult for the customers and stakeholders.” Pointing out their specific behavior always works best when you have built trust and demonstrated that you care. Maybe they did not have any idea of their impact or did not think it was a big deal, but now understand, and do not want to be the person everybody chases, so they are ready to make some adjustments. You can also use the contrasting approach, which shares what you are not intending before the feedback. For example, “I’m not saying it was wrong for you to disagree with me in the meeting, we need to hear everyone’s view to make the best choice, but I think the team listened to your tone as attacking, and it would be better to address your concerns with me privately or in the meeting with a curious and positive manner, how do you see it?”
It’s essential to leave the conversation where you both understand what the underlying issue is, how to address it, what success looks like, what needs to be done, by who, and by which date to achieve it. Having that type of clarity and mutual agreement on how to move forward can be a game-changer. You can also have them suggest that they are planning to make changes and even ask them if they are open to trying some new strategies. You can reassure them that you want them to be set up for success and get one last confirmation – “does this all seem doable given other things on your plate?”
D. The Boundary. If the conversation and feedback did not change their behavior, you need to have another conversation, and talk about the boundary or the limit. The boundary is the idea that even though they have been working on something and made some change, it is not enough or not to the desired standard. I know this can be uncomfortable, but you are providing feedback in the spirit of helping them grow. Not addressing the behavior would send a message that you approve of their behavior which can continue to harm the team. The outcome could be that you monitor a specific behavior change you want them to show in a reasonable time frame.
E. The limit. A clear consequence and the last step before the person is dismissed. In the conversation, you tell the person you have tried everything you could – coaching, mentoring, feedback, and other supports. Where we go from here is on them. They can take the weekend and tell you if they want to stay and present their plan of what they are prepared to do that has not been tried or if they want to go because it is not the right fit for them now and they want to move on. Two things can likely happen – they can reflect or talk to others to have that wake-up call to realize they can be better and move into another gear and come back and show this newfound initiative, or they will select out. When you have determined that the person cannot meet the expectations, don’t delay, let them find another place where they can thrive. As a leader, it is not about keeping everybody happy, it is about keeping the organization humming along where people can achieve their best, and a crucial part of that is emphasizing accountability and maintaining standards of excellence; that’s part of what keeps morale high.
Raymond stresses that the Dial is not a linear process – it can be turned up and down depending on the situation. For serious issues, you may jump immediately to the conversation or even the limit.
You can also use a more simplified 3-step framework for accountability which would be to communicate the expectations and observations, follow-up to make sure the expectations are communicated right and are being met, and make the consequences clear. The consequence can be positive or negative, if they are exceeding an expectation, they could get certain recognitions. A common pitfall is that most managers do not do step 1 or 2 well but then go heavy on the consequential in an annual review because they have 6-12 months of stored feedback.
When one team member’s behavior and work performance negatively impacts another, you need to hold the person accountable. An excellent tool to use is the Accountability Dial, which starts with mentioning the behavior, inviting them to see patterns, having a conversation to learn more, showing the boundary, and utilizing the limit. Keeping people accountable is the kind thing to do because not addressing their unacceptable behavior would be perpetuating the cycle of failure and wreak havoc on all those involved.
Q: How do you initiate your accountability conversation for maximum results? Comment and share below; we would love to hear from you!
Quote of the day: "When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice." ― Brené Brown
"When it comes to privacy and accountability, people always demand the former for themselves and the latter for everyone else." David Brin, Author
As a Leadership and Executive Coach, I partner with others to help with all kinds of accountability, contact me to learn more.
The best cultures embrace accountability conversations