Networking is a vital facet of one's professional journey. It stands as a crucial bridge between opportunities, connections, and growth. Despite its undeniable importance, networking remains a daunting and even disliked endeavor for many. This paradox highlights the need for a deeper understanding of networking's nuances, strategies, and the potential it holds for personal and professional development.
What Networking Is Not
Some people have an aversion to networking because it conjures up slick, self-interested, manipulative tactics to get things you may not deserve. It is not just about pitching, selling, delivering long speeches, and aiming to close business on the spot. It is not a hyper-focus on you and what you are trying to do. It is not about hassling people or using them to get something you want done. It’s undoubtedly not transactional. These are all descriptions of when networking is done wrong.
Defining What Networking Is
Genuine networking is the act of building and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships. When done well, the goal is to advance your career or business and to provide help for others for collective benefit. London Business School Professor Herminia Ibarra says networking or creating a fabric of personal contacts to provide support, feedback, insight, and resources is essential for every manager. Many people think they must network when ready to job hunt, but it is about the long game – building authentic connections that can bear fruit down the line. It’s a chance to have flourishing relationships and tap into insights and resources from a trusted group.
Challenges in Networking
Herminia Ibarra Highlights Challenges that Executives Face:
1. Reluctance to Ask for Help. As an accomplished, high achiever, it can feel hard to ask for assistance. You may have gotten good at self-reliance and think you can rely on your strength to pull you through the way you have done your whole life. While people underestimate other’s willingness to help, multiple studies confirm that most of us like to assist. We are social creatures, and it’s one of those things that make us feel good. When you practice the activity, especially in low-risk situations, and start to see some results, your comfort with asking for help will grow.
2. Prioritizing Secrecy. Some people want to reach out to others but do not want them to know they are job searching or unhappy in their current position. They are also worried that the word will get out, which could jeopardize their current position, especially with industries or roles with smaller circles or in communities where everybody knows one another. One of my clients was looking to switch positions, which would involve a move, and she was waiting to talk to her children because she worried that they would tell their best friends who have parents who work at the same place and are connected to other community members, which would get back to her boss.
In situations where people have been laid off, some feel embarrassed to share, however there are ways you can take command of the narrative. If you were a part of a more massive layoff or your role got eliminated, these things happen, especially the higher up you go as the company goes in a different direction. If you feel like there are too many systemic issues preventing your success, you can share what you are moving toward rather than what you are moving away from. If you do not share with others, you lose the potential of connecting with somebody who can help you. Finding a new position can take a long time, so instead of guarding your intentions too closely and stressing about the process, you can suspend your pride and put yourself in a position to forge a valuable connection.
3. Unrealistic Expectations. When we get to higher executive levels of our career, it can take as little as three months and as long as 18 months to find the right fit. You may have amassed an incredible resume and would be an asset to any company, but there may not be an available role. Networking can take a long time to learn about potential future roles. You may meet one person who might share an opening for a VP role four months from now when this leader is planning on retiring and their successor recently left to take a position elsewhere, so there is no leading internal candidate. If we are changing industries or careers, it will take a while to strengthen our skillsets and figure out what we might want to do and that will entail a lot of conversations that will provide helpful clues as you travel on your path of what you could want next. Patience is key, as connections can lead to opportunities when you least expect them.
4. Not Wanting to Put in the Work. It takes time to have a lot of conversations with people and be intentional about attending events. The dedication required is often on top of a full-time job so you can imagine it being a draining experience. What compounds the problem is that most people have not invested in their network, so they can feel like they are starting from zero. They could think 2-3 connection points are needed before they ask about something they want, and with busy executives, those meetings can take many months to set up. If you have already laid the foundation to build a strong network and are clear on your goals, that process can be shortened.
Herminia Ibarra recommends listing up to 100 contacts, former employers, clients, and customers and writing down the names of the people you met in those roles. There will be some people on that list who will be information givers who can tell you about the market, companies, and hiring trends and some who will be door openers who will vouch for you and introduce you to decision makers because you have worked with them in the past or have a strong connection. By being organized with how you keep track of your connections, the work you are putting in can bear greater fruit.
5. Overly Focusing on the Narrative. Many people spend a lot of time talking about themselves without getting to the heart of forming a mutually beneficial relationship. They do not have a clear ask or they do not learn what the other person is interested in to find those win-win opportunities. Spending too much time talking about why you are unhappy or the past rather than talking about what excites you and what you are moving toward. The best practice is to be direct, concise, positive, and future-oriented.
6. Failing to tailor your story. People spend so much time perfecting their elevator speech and using the same one on multiple audiences rather than customizing it. A talk track can be divided into parts, and while some pieces can remain the same, especially in terms of what you are passionate about or the problems you are eager to solve, you want to customize other sections depending on your audience that will resonate the most.
Benefits of Networking
1. Building Good Relationships. You create trust and strengthen connections by offering assistance and valuable resources while expecting nothing in return. Cultivating those genuine interactions, expanding common interests, and feeling like you have a support team that you can go to for career and life advice will add significantly to your happiness. Psychotherapist Esther Perel said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
2. Advancing your career. When it comes to career advancement, most people realize that sometimes it’s not always what you know, but who you know.” One study found that more than 70% of Fortune 1000 CEOs, mostly white men said they have done business with someone they met on the golf course. Additionally, 80% of Fortune 500 executives said golf has helped their careers. Another study shows that over 80% of women at and above management level said they have used networking relationships to join a board, break into the C-Suite, or accept a new job with better pay. People do not hire resumes, they recruit people they like, who are interesting, and interested in what you are saying because of their curiosity.
Networking is a multifaceted endeavor with the potential to shape careers and lives positively. By dispelling misconceptions, navigating challenges, and leveraging the benefits, individuals can harness the true power of networking.
Quote of the day: "The richest people in the world look for and build networks; everyone else looks for work." - Robert Kiyosaki
Question: What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to networking? Comment and share below; we’d love to hear from you!
The next blog in this series 2/4 will focus on types of networks and where to network.
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to strengthen their internal and external networking approaches for win-win opportunities, contact me to explore this topic further.
What’s your experience with networking?