In the last article, we explored 12 common cognitive distortions or ways of thinking that can be detrimental to our happiness and productivity. Experts such as Aaron Beck and David Burns argue that we do not need to resign ourselves to this type of thinking; instead, there are numerous ways to identify, challenge, minimize, or erase these misrepresentations from our mind chatter.
Here are some steps we can take to work against these distortions or unproductive mindsets:
1. Learn how to recognize the cognitive distortion and label it. Now that you are familiar with some common ones, when you start thinking along those lines, you will be able to spot what is happening earlier. When you notice the distortion, write it down. For example, suppose somebody cancels a meeting. In that case, you may immediately overgeneralize – “this always happens to me, I can’t catch a break” or you may label - “I’m a total loser, of course, they don’t want to give me the time of day” or catastrophize – “I am never going to get my shot with this decisionmaker.” Spot yourself falling into the pattern so you can get out of it. You have to name it to tame it.
2. Look at the evidence for and against your thoughts. You have probably racked up support for your thoughts, but what about exploring the other side? Ask yourself, “what might somebody say who disagrees with you?” “How can I devise five reasons why this is not true.” “What if I was wrong?” You can connect with a friend and invite them to disprove your unsubstantiated theories. Just because you have a thought does not mean it is true so invite scrutiny to test your thinking.
3. Run a cost-benefit analysis. What is the cost of believing this unhelpful theory? Perhaps anxiety, self-consciousness, and excessive rumination. How about the benefits? Maybe protecting yourself from a potentially adverse outcome. Which is worth more? Write down your thoughts and get some distance so you can better see the holes in your logic.
4. Reframe. Perhaps you have a big presentation looming and you start to indulge your negative thinking and let it run loose. You get really anxious and determine you are going to do terribly because public speaking is your Achilles’ heel. Remind yourself that you can choose your response. You can transform your state of psychological arousal from anxiety into excitement. What if you viewed this presentation through opportunity googles and not a fearful lens? Things can go well - believing that is more productive!
5. Assume positive intent. When we judge people or assume the worst, we can feel bad about ourselves. Instead, if we make an effort to interpret other people’s statements in their best or most reasonable form, we can inculcate ourselves from some of that draining energy.
6. Avoid polarity thinking. Instead of thinking in black or white terms, think in grays. In which context is one thing more true? For example, instead of maintaining emotional intelligence (EQ) is always better than intelligence, perhaps EQ is more valuable in areas dealing with customer service and less valuable dealing with data. You can generate as many different interpretations to break the binary thinking.
Many people may not be realizing that they are engaging in thinking patterns that bring them emotional pain. When we can surface those harmful thoughts, we are better equipped to fight against them, and live healthier and happier lives. Allow your mind to usher in the productive and healing vibes that will allow you to thrive in the way you can.
Thought of the day: “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven” - John Milton
Q: What thinking behavior do you notice doing the most? How do you break that cycle of destructive thinking? Comment and share below, we would love to hear from you!
As a leadership development and executive coach, I work with leaders to explore their blind spots around their mindsets and assumptions to better serve their actions, contact me to explore this topic further.
How can you foster positive thoughts?