From the workplace to the kitchen table, giving or receiving feedback is a common occurrence. Whether you’re helping someone on their quest for self-improvement or you are on your own journey - feedback is a critical waymark. But, over the last few years, I have learned that not all feedback is created equal. So, I have crunched this down to five common mistakes you should avoid immediately if you want to give the type of feedback that matters.
1. Make feedback immediate because the more time passes, the less effective feedback becomes. Right after you observe the behavior, you should offer your comments so that the individual can better understand what worked and how to fix it.
2. Replace sporadic feedback with ongoing dialogue. Learning is a process and so too should feedback. The annual performance reviews are ineffective at upskilling individuals. They do not help employees move forward when managers tell you how you did last year, which for some was too many moons ago to recount. Instead, feedback should happen regularly, not months later.
3. Swap broad statements for more specific ones. Just saying you did a good job on your presentation is vague as it offers no clarity on what was done well. Likewise, it fails to provide relevant information about how to replicate this success on future projects. The employee needs to know how to proceed for next time so if an introduction was particularly effective because it was humorous and got the audience instantly involved, say that.
4. Praise the behavior, not the person; an idea posited by Carol’s Dweck in her popular book Mindset. While Dweck’s study focused on the realm of education, her findings have universal applications. She showed that praising children for intelligence, rather than for effort, sapped their motivation because it showed a fixed mindset – the belief that people’s abilities are determined mostly by their natural talent or intelligence and that they only have a certain amount of it. Rather, it is much more effective to highlight the processes they used to arrive at the outcome. For example, “that homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.” This approach emphasizes a growth mindset which is the belief that your skills and abilities can be developed through perseverance and hard work. The same principle applies in the workplace. It goes a long way when you acknowledge the abilities and traits an employee used during the process.
5. Make feedback a two-way street. By making the experience conversational it allows the receiver to offer his/her valuable insights. This, in turn, rounds out the picture and provides additional information, which the giver can apply to better serve the receiver. After offering feedback, a simple question such as “how do you see things?” can ignite a powerful dialogue. This is also an excellent time to underscore any progress that has been made so the feedback receiver can reap the benefits of knowing they are improving.
Q: What are some other common feedback mistakes you have identified? Comment and share your thoughts with us, we would love to hear from you!
Thought for the day: “True intuitive expertise is learned from prolonged experience with good feedback on mistakes.” – Daniel Kahneman
How do you give feedback?